Sunday, May 29
'Chris. I'm alone at the airport now. I came to kill myself.' omg. when i saw this msg i was alr like 2 1/2 hours late. first thing i got to thank God you didn't kill yourself at the airport. i hate myself for just falling to sleep while lying on the floor in the com room. you'l never know how panic-stricken and worried i got what i received that msg. well i replied you and called right away. when i hear your so saddedned and depressed voice it can alr make me break down you know. and how i wish i was beside you to share your burden. i'l definitely want to be by your side when you're going through the darkest moment of your life. i don't even know what exactly happened. all you kept telling me was 'Chris. I won't live till tomorrow.' last month in april was a really sad month for us. we were supposed to be happy celebrating my bday. but you ended up disappointed and pissed with me for whatever reason. i don't wish to type it out now. the presents from you were the sweetest. it brings out in me alot of hurt and suffering seeing you so sad and all. many a time i've let you down. i know i did. sigh. i've been living with this mistake all along. the fear of you leaving me one day just like that always lingers within me just that i didn't tell you directly. the fear of you ending everything including our beautiful friendship. you saying you won't live till tml after eating the pill stuffs and all. i prayed really hard they were untrue. it cannot be true. it cannot. bcoz i'l be the one who would take care of you when no one else does. we must always try to carry a postive approach to the struggles in life. they can be overcome. the time and effort you put in surely will pay off. remember? after what happened in april when we didn't keep in touch for a few weeks or so. we could still go out so naturally and smoothly 2 weeks ago. you told me you had fun yeah. same here. although all this while in the eight months i know you. we've never been in a relationship. but i feel that we're closer than the many ppl around us. the last time i saw you was 14/05/2005. that won't be the last time alright. just imagine the fun we had going out together. it makes you want to live right? it certainly does k! we still have a long way to go. we'l guide each other in every step of our way. i ain't perfect. but in my eyes you are. you've done alot for me. same here. but you did more. please don't ever die. God will be good to you. he'l make a miracle happen tml. you'l live! then we can meet up on monday. no one knows what is like to feel this feeling. but whatever feeling you're going through now. i'l more or less feel it. after being through so much with you i can say from the bottom of my heart that i'l never ever want to lose you. all the love we made can never be replaced. friends forever and always. without you the world wouldn't be a loving place to live in anymore. the love and care you've brought to the world is just so so great. i can't afford to let anything bad happen to you. even if you don't read this. i hope you know there's still someone out there who is willing to care for you. i accept you for who you are. you being someone really important in my every aspect of my life whether you realise it or not. love, chris.
rejected at ...
1:52 AM