Monday, May 30
-looks back- i still can't accept and don't believe they treated me this way. the way that i hated alot. i still couldn't figure out why. all i know was i didn't offend them. it doesn't always pay to be the good guy. life makes you learn to be strong no matter what happens. but is it possible? the greatest sin is looking down on other ppl. and the greatest mistake is not realising it. at least when i first stepped here i did have happy times talking, chatting, and cracking jokes. and surprisingly i danced. bcoz i felt being part of something. yeap. the laughter and all certainly added a great deal of fun. i really pity someone. i can see he's like trying so hard to get to know other ppl better. at least when i look back i would still have the fun times to relish. 'many parts form one body.' i hope i'm not a part of the many parts. don't wish to get myself involved. when they went out today. i didn't even want to follow them. more like tagging-along behind like a total loser. it's something quite similar to when the feeling in a relationship is lost there is no point carrying it on meaninglessly. once it's gone it's pretty difficult to revive it back. they can go enjoy by all means. i wouldn't make a difference. yeap. i guess it's kinda like that. both lectures today were quite ok. i was sitting alone by myself. for once i don't have to face any pressure from them. it's like a whole new world that i'm living in. and apparently there're external pressures too. my mind wasn't really there during maths lecture. but still i tried to make sense out from what the tcr is teaching. the song 'Akon - Lonely' is quite true actually. when you feel lonely. you're like a total nobody. heh. brother's so secretive about his ipod. i have no idea who gave it to him. he probably wouldn't buy it himself. anyway i've fixed my mp3 player myself. yay. finally it works. ytd i felt bored so decided to have a go at fixing it. didn't expect it to work either. and i treasure it alot since it was a gift from granpa. =). i don't look forward to school like i did before. i hate school! thank god i've a blog to pin down all my thoughts and feelings. how useful can my blog be. =D. right now i don't have any hopes. not even passing my exams. i'm dumb and i don't deserve to pass anything. i shall be going out with mummy tml. it's something that i look forward to. i'm better off alone. just now was super funny. brother wanted to play pool at home. then right we used our dining table which was slighly smaller than a pool table. used tennis balls. then for the cue. guess what? hahah. we used umbrellas. heh. had fun playing. times like this i really got to enjoy. once i'm in school. everything's a different story altogether. sigh. don't know if i should train later. did workout in the afternoon alr. i don't want ppl to call me fat. it really does'nt sound nice at all. then straight after working out i fell asleep. piggy me. still feel abit tired now. -yawns-
rejected at ...
6:16 PM