Sunday, August 21
omgoodness. it's been one week since my last entry. bad bad. studies and school work obviously sucks big time! throughout the course of this week i had a chem test on friday. i was quite :) bcoz there were only a few questions i couldn't do. but i did attempt them. the happiness didn't really last. i had less than 3 hours of slp from the previous night as i made an effort to read through my chem notes. that's so unlike me. =p. i have not touched maths for donkey years. i'm so gonna fail that subject. time always crawls during maths lessons. aft maths on friday there was PE. didn't have the mood to do PE due to lack of sleep. whenever i don't get enough sleep i usually don't have a good mood. well that's me! aiyah. when you feel tired you just don't have the motivation for anything. i think i played pretty badly for PE. was playing modified netball. after PE i was super shag and my perspiration was dripping all over. i quickly rushed to the canteen to get myself a drink as i was freaking thirsty. as i was quening up at the fruit juice stall for like 5 minutes. a group of around 4-5 ppl if i remembered correctly just barged into the quene like nobody's business. i wanted to tell them off initially. but elena told me just let them be the way they are. so i had to fcuking wait for them to finish what they were buying when i needed a drink badly. some ppl just don't know what is courtesy. they don't care about the ppl around them. i guess such self-centred ppl. bleah. i won't say much. they know it best themselves. so what if they're thirsty after PE?! as if i'm not like that. i guess it did worsen the mood for that day. i was kinda pissed with them. by today i think i don't feel as pissed alr. went for gym with leslie and jun. i cycled 10km one shot and cleared it in 13 minutes. i felt that i just need to let everything out. all the shyt i've been going through. all the thoughts and feelings i have in my mind. the cycling didn't help much i suppose. sigh. why must life be fair to others and unfair to some? went off to town with leslie to meet the class to buy elena's bday present. i kept telling him i would be an extra if i were to go but we still ended up going there together. i don't wish to leave him in the lurch and let him go there all by himself. at least if i followed he would have someone to talk to along the way. but i think most of the time while we were walking i kept telling him stuffs and whining to him. sorry leslie-poo! i sounded really naggy and long-winded right? =p. but leslie definitely makes a good listening ear. i left the peeps at about 5.30 to return to school. bcoz daddy told me he would be picking me up from sch. i have the best daddy! he picks me up from school whenever he can. anyway take bus home oso can get quite sian. hahah. in town heard mich telling leslie that i was angry with her bcoz she said i couldn't sit in the inside seat. well i wasn't. my mood was just bad that day. that evening i did type her a friendster msg too. =D. some things which are going on makes me feel so pressurized when i attend school. sigh. it's alright. we're a happy group of ppl together. we spend time cracking all sorts of jokes. hahah. and talking about practically anything under the sun. we rock! we rule! i only got to know that elena was having a surprise party on her actual bday itself. mich was asking me if i was going. and i was like. huh? she actually had a bday party? hahah. then she told me it's a surprise party her bf organised. it's so cool larh! played badminton and soccer for the entire morning with bro and went out in the afternoon. grandpa dropped me at sunset way and that was where i met daryl. went to his house to hang out and slack for the moment. okayy. i shall stop here. will continue if i can find time tonight. -off to work-
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4:12 PM
Sunday, August 14
latest news! michy is a dao kia! bleah. =p. hahah. god knows why. played yahoo pool on friday night till i fell asleep right in front of my com. met this person in a game. since i was using the class yahoo account cjc_t38 she kept asking if i knew so and so from cjc. she seems to know quite alot of peeps in my school. anyway after she went offline my other friend came online. we played yahoo pool till about 12 plus. by then i was dozing off in front of my com alr. gp mock that day went quite badly. i was rushing against time again! i'l probably not pass. :(. saturaday morning was full of blast. soccer with brother for a few hours. that's tiring enough. after soccer came back to grandparents' house and went online for awhile. didn't want to stay online for long. since klara junior from my primary school started chatting with me i chatted with her for quite sometime. she's cousin's senior in his secondary school too larh. she was talking about the gal my cousin likes. i shall suan cousin when i see him. =p. hahah. the gal is really super talented. i saw her appeared in tee-vee before. on the channel 8 show at 9 on saturday. she has both looks and brains no wonder cousin is attracted to her! omgoodness. he'l suan me back when he gets a gf before i do. whatever larh. it was quite a fat day too. i drank two cans of coke! i can't believe it. i usually don't touch fizzy drinks. there's super alot of sugar content. sigh. i was just too thirsty after soccer. couldn't help it. =p. plus at night i ate one huge creamy piece of cake which i found in the fridge. hahah. argh! i need to control myself. in the afternoon grandpa, grandma, mummy, aunty, bro and me went to IMM to jalan jalan. guess what?! taufik and sly was there to sign autographs. i wonder why people are so crazy over them. they do crazy stuffs like i can't describe larh. rgs was there to do charity work too. selling balloons to raise funds. i thought i could see jolene junior there. i looked around but still couldn't really find her. saddening! hahah. we kinda rushed off IMM bcoz grandpa was saying that he wanted to see me appear on tee-vee when i performed during ndp. sad sad. the ndp encore version was different from the live version on the actual day. i couldn't even really see myself inside. sigh. before returning home to my grandparents' place we dropped by aunty's place to get bubble tea. yummilicious bubble tea! i simply love it. =). i got the green apple and strawberry flavour. greedy me! the strawberry flavour really made me think of *you* all of a sudden. i know you would never ever visit my blog bcoz we have nothing to do with each other anymore since god knows when. i still remember those times when we could still go out. you brought strawberry flavoured bubble tea from the shop at taka. and we shared it together. i'm such a failure. i couldn't give you what you wanted. sigh. those good memories can never be brought to life again. even if they could it would be a long long time. chances are i'm out of your existing life for good. when i realised you deleted me from friendster a few weeks back i took the hint that you've erased me from your entire life. i cannot bring myself to visit your blog. whenever i do. i will never be alright. we had fond memories of the blog. remember? during march holidays you wanted to set up a blog when you went back to nz. for now i suppose everything goes to your special him. i'm no longer special to you. whether you're special to me it doesn't matter to you anyway. but i do think of you at times. and most of the time i get so lost. lost in an uncompassionate and unforgiving world without you. it's been about 3 months since we last saw each other. life still continues. it's a journey we must keep going. from the time i knew you till the day we part. even though all the time we knew each other we did not get into a relationship i can say we're closer than some of the couples that you see ard us. so much for our sad ending. it's a sin if we pretend that we don't recognise each other if we see each other on the streets. i don't know. i'm really lost again. i don't know what to expect next. i love strawberry bubble tea the most!
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2:31 PM
Friday, August 12
i still have loads of work untouched. but since it's a friday. hooray! the weekends are approaching. i shall type a little entry here. today was damn tiring for me. i slept at like 2.30am yesterday! it's an extremely bad habit that i have. seriously need to kick that habit. most of the time in school today i was like using my reserved energy to keep myself awake. but it doesn't really seem to work. sigh. i hate it when i get insufficient sleep. bcoz i won't have any mood for anything. my morning went kinda gloomy. when i reached school i went to the study area near grandstand to do my chem. suddenly remember ms soh saying that we need to complete till ques 3. did and did till mich and ann walked past and they came over to where i was sitting. went up with them to our class. then i continued doing my chem till it was time for assembly. it was such a pain. completing work last minute. but at least i managed to finish two ques. then doing chem tutorial i actually volunteered to do a ques on the board. most likely bcoz i wanted to know if what i did was correctly presented. after chem was maths tutorial. oh my goodness. i failed my maths test again. -big sigh- why am i so stupid?! other ppl are getting 30+ and i only got a miserable 24. well ms lee pasted a sticker on my test paper. maybe it serves as a form of encouragement for me to work harder? yeap. sometimes the feeling of throwing in the cards and giving up gets so strong that i wish i could just escape from reality. facing reality and going through all the shyt i'm facing. be it school work or other crappy stuffs. it simply sucks like shyt! my mindset towards studying has always been so bad that i can't be bothered to put in the effort that i need to. work aside first. i can't stand the insumountable stress piling on my back. one fine day i'l just explode and burst like a balloon. today's PE was quite slack. didn't do much except for netball. i played really badly. sorry team! when our class went for warm-up run i was at the grandstand chatting with hazel. obviously she's quite pissed with someone. sigh. why is there so much sadness going on in the world? is there such a thing as eternal happiness? i doubt so. all i wish is to lead a fulfilling life. a life that is worthwhile for me to look forward to. ppl around me definitely makes my life a better one. they're wonderful ppl who can bring joy into my life. ultimately happiness lies in my own hands. and of course i would want to remain happy for as long as i can. looking back when we first met. things went pretty smooothly and well. it just takes something. something to... it's been quite sometime alr. i shall not let it affect me. just that when my mind wanders away i think deeply. i constantly tell myself i must be strong and hold on firmly to hope. a hope which will never fails to give me a bright future. i mustn't be dumb. i must face the real world with audacity! during chinese lesson today it was fun and fun and fun! lao shi played tong hua and since that's the only chinese song i could sing i sang along! elena and mich joined in too. seems like we were the only three singing. hahah. enjoyed it so much. i wish we could learn to sing a new chinese song every lesson. but that would never happen right? -ponders- in the afternoon gp mock was on. so we had to stay back till 5 plus. after that elena said she left her hp in class. aloy had the keys and elena asked me to tag along. hahah. scared aloy take advantage of you is it?! =p. oh ya. and along the way i must say that sick little elena has gone insane! i think i'm insane too! hahah. time to sleep. -yawns-
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8:20 PM
Tuesday, August 9
i finally have time to blog again since it's national day! well i only have to report to school at two. actually it's still early now. yesterday we kinda had a mini class outing. most of the ppl couldn't come along. so it's less than ten of us. aloy, cari, corny, elena, jolle, les, weixin and mich! saddening! anyway after sch was dismissed we took a bus to queensway and another bus to harbour front. god knows what we did in the bus. hahah. the man sitting near us. he looked quite shocked. his expression was like. WAT THE. i can't believe i had lunch at subway! it's so ex- larh. maybe bcoz i've very little money in my wallet yesterday. =p. yummy! so long since i ate there. hahah. along the way i kept teasing and making fun of cari. even when we were having our MEAL. yeapp. MEAL. i was still making fun of her. of course at the same time everyone was like having free entertainment bcoz i was joking ard practically throughout when we were having lunch. cari better thank god for giving her such wonderful ppl as her classmates. =p. i couldn't believe that she ate the slowest larh. the rate i'm eating was alr damn slow. and yeah. i don't have a huge appetite. then at ard 12 plus we walked to the bus-interchange and boarded the bus to sentosa! yay! i miss sentosa alot. and it's the second time i've been there since the start of this year. how saddening! after we settled down at siloso beach. guess what?! elena was the first one who got dunked in the sea! hahah. that evil little thing always says i'm dirty-minded. =p. not true not true at all! it was a whole afternoon at sentosa. we played soccer as a class! definitely one of the most fun stuffs we did at sentosa. cari and i kept colliding into each other during soccer. i remembered once she crashed into me from the back and i kinda fell. so mean. hahah. obviously she fell too. it's a BAD sign. hahah. anyway i did help her up most of the time so she can't say i'm not a gentleman. =p. like she said it's just a game lorh. what's important is that everyone enjoys. we rested and slcked around the beach after soccer. later in the afternoon. aloy, corny, les and me played soccer with another 4 malay guys. yay! i was :) bcoz i scored the first goal against them. but it was quite tyco i must say. i kinda drove past the goal keeper. playing and running around the sand makes my legs feel so numb. i realised i'm very weak lorh. played a little while yet so exhausting. but had hell lot of fun. so i guess it makes up for all the tiredness. i was dumb larh. went into the sea and tried to swim ended up getting all the cuts. especially the one on my finger. those on my legs weren't that bad. oh my goodness. aloy cut his knee too. poor him. corny got injured too i think. bad bad. next time when we go there everyone really need to take extra care. mich kana bruise on her leg. poor thing lorh. then her toe don't know got what she was saying quite painful oso. sigh. gals are fragile ppl. hahah. they really are! my back hurts now. i'm sunburnt! argh. hate it larh. but who cares?! i have a nice tan colour now. =p. i left my class peeps at around 4.30 bcoz i needed to go down for the parade at sji. there i had alot of fun joking around with my peers too. met aravin, kenneth, and many many other familiar faces. aravin is a bloody joker larh. hahah. he said to me. once a fcuker, always a fcuker. i was like WAT THE. anyhow say me. last time i used to be stronger than him but he's a freaking shot-putter now. how the heck in the world can i win him in arm-wrestling? impossible! he's 30 kg heavier than me. omgoodness. ppl still actually do recognise me for who i am. yeapp. it's a good thing. we're all still really good friends. talked and joked around the way we used to. i got a hug from shawn junior. he's very shuai now lorh. all the gals must be after him. =p. saw eric senior too! all in all it's a whole big gathering that i enjoyed very much. spent time eating the catered food with mummy and daddy as we waited for brother to be dismissed. after that we all headed back for home. despite feeling worn-out and drained i still wrote testimonials for the ppl who made my afternoon at sentosa so exciting and wonderful. thanks to all who made my day! cheers. =D. love you guys!
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9:20 AM