Friday, October 28
today's officially the last day of school. we had this ceremony what they would call the graduation ceremony. maybe for me the atmosphere was abit sadder for me than the rest. well the ceremony started with a prayer service. that's what always takes place in a catholic school before every important occasion. brandon and me were crazily joking about stuffs before the actual ceremony began. we got so carried away that we kept laughing so mad. then we had to quieten ourselves down [sounds so primary-schoolish] when the ceremony started. i thought the part on reflection was especially meaningful. like it makes us think of the many good times and happy things we are blessed with the moment we step into the school. our class, the peeps we got to know throughout the course of the year, the nice surroundings and facilities in school, the supportive and patient teachers, everything that makes it unbearable to leave the school. there were skits and dance during the ceremony too! dance was superb and the skits were entertaining and amusing at the same time. oh ya. and the prize giving session was simply the best becoz our class won the best j1 class of 2005. hooray. cheers to t38. despite always being the havoc class as well as a dirty class literally dirty i mean we still managed to clinch the best class title. it was quite a surprise for me though. the feeling was just so great. photo-taking of the champion class on stage after the ceremony ended =D. poor aloy got tau-poked by the guys on stage. thankfully i wasn't the guy right at the bottom. still remembered when tau-pok took place at sji i was the guy right at the bottom. argh! aloy i know how you feel. haha. super fun man! then was supposed to go to east coast park. wasn't able to go becoz i would return home late and all. my parents wouldn't be happy. how saddening. i missed out so much fun. on the other hand i happened to meet ann, cari and mich at the bus-stop. cari didn't want to go becoz she said she wanted to get home to study for chinese =p. ann and mich decided to go to bukit panjang plaza to meet their old secondary school classmates from wsss. since i was going the same direction too i kind of followed them. hung out with them at bukit panjang for quite awhile until mich and ann's friends arrived. girls simply love to shop till they DROP. -faints- now i realised how mad can girls be when they shop. anyway when mich and ann's friends arrived i left for home. ran home since it was raining. t38 champions of the day!
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4:02 PM
Wednesday, October 26
school has been quite depressing this few days. -sad look- knowing that i have a high chance of not staying in cj next year since i was never good enough to advance to j2. my results really suck. everything sucks. it simply doesn't give me the mood to be happy anymore. argh. i will miss everyone. especially my fellow classmates who make the stressful life in college more enjoyable. and to all my pals i got to know in school this year. cj is where i feel home i guess with the familiar faces, voices and smiles which i see everyday. the joy of meeting new people each day. spoke to ms soh ytd after i've received the white letter which officially stated that i'm not allowed to be promoted to j2. we were talking away about my chemistry promo results like what went wrong and stuff. well we came to a conclusion that my concepts weren't that strong even though i did improve. the sad part is why didn't i improve more or scored a higher grade for midyears?! i'm sure that would probably secure me a place for taking supplementary exams. wonder why cj's promotion criteria is so strict. ijc requires just 1 Alvl pass and 1Ao pass to be promoted. i think a few other jcs like anderson also works on a 1 Alvl pass and 1 Ao pass system. that's even more lenient than cj's supplementray papers criteria. maybe it's becoz ijc's a new school. still i don't wish to be disbanded and separated from my class just like that. but i've promised them i'l be back to join them for inter-class games next year.
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11:42 PM
Sunday, October 23
i miss benjy! he's simply my brother =p. he's been away for camp at kluang for a few days alr. he's coming back tml. can't wait for him to come home.
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11:22 PM
Friday, October 21
i've been 'working' on my pw for the past few days. like what most ppl say. pw really sucks =p. our group leader's down with fever. counting today she hasn't been in sch for 3 days alr. so elena took over as the leader. haha. i stayed up till almost 2 ytd becoz i couldn't get the piechart done and shun xie had to help me out even though she isn't from my group. credit goes to shun xie as she helped me out patiently with our group's written report. particularly the part on pie charts. i think tina sent her to check on us since she's unwell. ele went out with her princeyy. i shall publicly announce in my blog becoz there's still pw to do ele! i find that she's someone weird. waking up at a strange time like 3 in the morning to edit the written report =p. but i must say she's super efficient. i like her style and attitude towards work. never say die or give up mindset. no wonder she did pretty well for promos. congrats ele =). unlike someone here who deserves to be shot. i'm still thinking over and over again. why can't i just get myself promoted to j2? why must things turn out the way that i might lose contact with my friends in cj? why am i always faced with such anguish? thoughts just keep coming to me. sigh. i can't bear to leave cj. after getting my results i knew that i wasn't even elegible for the supplementary papers which were kind of second chances for me to clear j1 and move on to the next year in college. i'm happy that i acutally improved for all my subjects. didn't improve for gp though. but well for other subjects i did. i know it would be very silly of me to type out my lousy grades here but who cares. it's for me to reflect and think about. this time for chem i improved till i almost obtained an E. i was 1 mark away from an E. argh. maths i scored 41 compared to the 27% i had during midyears. for biology i improved the least. my biology is still my lowest subject like it has always been : (. this time for the promotional exam i had an O. and no one in my class obtained an F. omgoodness. which means i'm the lowest in class. i deserve it since i didn't put in the extra effort i ought to. here's a summary of my overall grades. bio : 33%, chem : 41%, maths : 39%. it's good that i cleared both my languages. but i mean what's the point if i can't even get an E. that sucks. argh. whenever i think about my results i feel very bad inside. i wasted one year of my life. it's definitely true and i can say from my bottom my heart that throughout my 1o years of education jc life stands out from the rest. after sch ytd followed ann, aloy, corny, ele, leslie, mich to bukit timah market to eat. yeap. ann asked me to follow and since i had nothing on i tagged along. on our way to the market i told leslie that one day i shall invite him down to bukit timah for soccer and lunch at my grandparents' place. i ordered fried carrot cake as usual. didn't intend to eat anything heavy as i had food waiting for me at home alr. i bought a plate of fried carrot cake for ele and the rest to share. hmm. come to think of it while i was having the food it very much seems like a farewell meal. anyway it was enjoyable for me to at least have a good meal with my class peeps. i had to leave early and leslie followed me to the road junction. so nice of him =D. and after i crossed the road i started mad chasing the 184 bus. thankfully i reached the bus-stop on time. after i reached home dinner was ready. had my dinner and bath. discussed other alternatives with mummy if i'm not allowed to take the supplementary papers. dota-ed my way through the night with brandon, aloy, corny and daryl. just one word. FUN. looking forward to the next class 'dota-outing.'
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10:14 PM
Wednesday, October 19
i need to spend more time talking to all the peeps i know in cjc. spoke to glen and jiaxiang today. my buddies from ndp. happened to meet them when i was on my way to the canteen. i hate this. why must i leave cj? i can't promote and i don't wish to retain bcoz of the new syllabus. some ppl say it's easier. well for me. as long as it's arts forget it. i shall blog some other time. and maybe there's nothing more to life alr. just studies. fcuk it. 'they say the happiest times and saddest times happen during jc.' shall talk about it soon. yeap.
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11:52 PM
Thursday, October 13
ytd night did pretty productive things. chatted with corny to ask about him. he wasn't here in school ytd : ( that's why the class was so quiet =p. omgoodness. i was telling him that he over-exerted himself. he shouldn't have. really. my knees and ankles are going to break down too. hmm maybe i should tell myself not to over-work too. well he was asking me to dota with him. he must have had an easy time playing with me. NOOB. yes. i'm a total newbie. i suck. argh. alvls chinese will be at the end of this month. i need a pass. and promo results? i don't even want to think of it. chances are slim. sigh. i wasn't even coping well in secondary school let alone in junior college. i shall get more people to play dota! haha. was asking crazyann ytd if she wants to try out dota. after dota which i obviously LOST chatted with poo poo leslie. he can really make me laugh like shyt. had a pretty fun time chatting with him till about 1am then we had to go offline. i'l be off for pw soon. at the new central pending library. first time i'm going there! quite excited and looking forward =p.
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9:37 AM
Tuesday, October 11
didn't qualify for captain's ball today. but what to do? aloy was playing defensive in front of the hoola-hoop then i was the only guy playing forward against 3 other guys from t31. i had to run becoz didn't want to make the girls run so much. they alr had rugby ytd. yeap. so i was doing the running and all. it was exhausting can. hmm i didn't give up despite the cramps which i had all over my body. shouldn't have played soccer ytd. yee. we only played one match today. so-oo slack =p. we're supposed to play another match. somehow the other class walked over. since it was such a slack day i went for a 35min run. ran from botanical gardens to town and back. i left without my ezlink, mobile or any cash. i didn't care if i were to collapse half way or smth. i'm so sick and useless that i have to run and run. yeap. i made in in 35 mins. running rocks! and i fell down so many times during captain's ball today : ( actually decided to go to bukit timah market to grab a bite after dismissal. but there was no one to follow me also. made my way home instead. then napped for close to one hour. i was alr starting to sleep in the bus =p. to all those who played captain's ball today you guys did well! =D
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8:11 PM
Monday, October 10
i chanced upon cari's blog for a moment just now. seems like she wasn't too happy with captain's ball today. that never happens in sji i swear. my class was quite bonded. 95% i would say when it comes to games. at the end of each game everyone would be like yay! we did our best. oh ya. i remembered our class got 3rd for hockey. it was good lar. i played too. we had an arm wrestling league as well. those were the times that will never slip our minds. such things rarely happen now. quite sad actually. hmm a word of advice for her would be winning isn't everything. more importantly it's the spirit that one strives to win that counts. btw i discovered my link isn't on her blog anymore when she changed her blog layout. she's probably too lazy to re-link =p. tml would be my turn to play captain's ball. hope everything turns out fine. my body's still rather weak and aching. but i want to play well tml. yeap. hope it would be better than orienteering. the girls had touch rugby today so probably they'l be too tired to play tml as well. argh. how?! we'l see tml =D.
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11:18 PM
i guess i'l be sleeping early today since i'l be playing captain's ball tomorrow. aloy and i will be the only two guys in the team. the remaining are 6 girls if i remembered correctly. he probably would be the goal keeper and most likely i would be the one running around the pitch like a mad dog. daddy fetched me to NIE as early as before 7 in the morning. after dropping me off he brought my brother to turf-city for his inter-class soccer. i wish i could be down to support him and his class. know quite a few peeps from his class. yeap. heard from him that his class won one match and drew one match. quite pro! -claps hand- i think even my brother plays better soccer than me. i'm like so paiseh =p. but my running is definitely better than him now! last time my 2.4km run used to lose to him. after training i'm sure i can beat him. haha. was down at NIE super early. met jon from sji. not the one in my class. brandon came early too. then the 3 of us had the whole basketball court for us to play. used a minature rugby ball to play basketball. quite innovative if you think of it. and of course it was much much challenging than using basketball. we tried juggling too. the juggling was mad. i could juggle at most 5 times. found myself quite tyco. the last juggle came from a header =D. i was sweating like hell. decided to take a breather and waited for my class to come. oh my goodness. jes came in a weird hair-style. i used sign-language to comment on her hair. super funny mans : ) before the girls and guys went off for touch rugby and captain's ball hui hui came and talk to me. then jes made fun of me. argh. she said i was talking to my sweet heart. i was about to strangle her lar. anyway i assembled for orienteering on the other side of the hall. remember those times when i had orienteering during my ncc days with my fellow ncc comrades. they all rock. some of them were down for orienteering today too. hmm well today. orienteering. nothing much to say either. just that i was lagging at the back for quite a distance. yeap. she was there and i was pretty scared. enjoyed listening to the music i just uploaded into my player recently by the click five. so-so only lar. and some other recent songs on perfect 10 top 10. bryan isn't online! he's supposed to send me my pictures he took at botanical gardens. nvm. i shall get it from him soon. i came back the multi purpose hall at around noon. and i played soccer. got to know a few peeps from zhu's class. he's my good friend from lower sec. right zhu? haha. he's malay but somehow he's my zhu brother! becoz he makes fun of my surname. so i gave him the nickname zhu =p. played till my headache came before i stopped. then waited for all those who played to come back and take their attendance before we are dismissed. after dismissal i went out with t39 peeps. don't really know where my class went too. anyway we had to walk quite far before we reached the bus-stop which had 190 to bring us to town. i had bk again today. yes. bk! haha. i'm developing a tummy. so fat mans. had some inter-class bonding. get to know them a little better. gabriel was from ncc too. hi 5! ncc people are cool and adventurous yea =p. jun and marcus went off to suntec leaving gabriel, the other guy [i'm so sorry i still don't know what his name is], and i made our way home. as usual i feel extremely tired. even now.
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10:16 PM
Sunday, October 9
boo-oo. second time i blog today. this post will be for yesterday. i was down for cjc's open house as early as 9 i think. i volunteered for the first shift bcoz it ends the earliest at 11. when i reached the gym was kinda empty. only saw less than 5 of us. our job was to usher ppl around the gym. apart from that everything was quite slack. oh my goodness. it's such a small world lar. i saw this girl from my church. but i don't know her. she's just grandma's friend's grand-daughter. yeap. i played DJ for the morning =p. i volunteerily played music from my mp3 player on those huge speakers placed outside the gym since no one else was there to control. maybe it did help to entertain the ppl visiting cj? i hope so =D! oh ya. my day had a pretty bad start as i was phone-less till evening. it dropped in daddy's car in the morning when he fetched mummy, brother and me to my grandparents' place. argh. i'm becoming more absent-minded. i'm losing my memory! grandpa was nice that day. he has always been this nice. he offered to fetch me to school. actually i'm quite a fortunate person. always having ppl to fetch me around most of the time. well i didn't take anything for granted =p. i left school at 11 plus. going to be noon soon. took 156 and i 'thought' it would bring me to kap macs. obviously it didn't. i'm so blur mans. see! this is what will happen when you'l being fetched around too often =p. i ended up dropping off at 6th avenue. i stood at the bus-stop for awhile. then decided. aiyah just make my way back to grandparents' place running in the rain. and i did. thankfully i didn't fall ill this morning. i did smth really bhb. when i reached to the other side of the road after crossing a few traffic lights i kinda took off my cj pe shirt off and then started to run in the rain alongside the road. the feeling was so super chilly! -shivers- at the same time ppl were like staring at me and probably what's going through their mind would be why the heck is this mad guy running without his shirt in the rain. but who cares la. what's so nice to look lor. i took less than 13 minutes to reach home. exhausting but contented with it. then later on in the afternoon was spent going out with my grandparents, aunty, mummy and brother. but brother and me ps them and went off to soccer at the nearby street soccer court. played till 4 plus. then met up with the rest at the shopping mall. brought all the stuffs to grandpa's car. yeap. went home after that. with me staying at my grandparents' house. grandpa had to attend a dinner for don't know what celebration since he's the vice-chairman of the RC commitee in his estate. i'm all alone by myself at home. well i kept myself occupied with stuffs. like i re-wired the speaker system. now it's superbly superb. i felt quite guilty lar. there was a funeral going on just a few houses down the road and i was blasting the speakers and dancing like mad. but don't think the people can hear me. so it's still alright =p. waited for grandma to come home from church. -impatient- anyway she whipped up a meal for herself and asked if i was hungry. i said YES! i was really damn hungry lar after fixing all the wirings. it took me more than 1 hour. we had mee-sua together and i chatted away with grandma. not long later grandpa came back and both my grandparents started talking so i went to the com room. played some nice songs for them to relax and enjoy. songs like 'if you get there before i do' by collin raye. they love it mans =D! so do it. received an sms from joy at 2345 saying that she has a new no. she's been without a line since a few months back. wonder how she survived without a hp lar. she will be taking olvls soon. in a couple of weeks. all the best joy!
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7:43 PM
my arms are aching as i'm blogging now. my body. my legs too. i think i over-trained the past few days. inter-class games will be starting tml. but i'm only in captain's ball on tuesday. hmm. so probably tml i would have to attend the orienteering walk or smth. sian-ness. now i have to back-blog. missed out quite alot of stuffs for the past few days. yeap. on friday the minister for education actually came down to our school for a visit. so cool. first time i've seen him in real person. he was touring around the school and happened to pop by the gym to have a look. we didn't really do much. the student councils, principal and all were there to show him around. i reached school at around 930. i was stucked. yes. practically stucked outside the back-gate. i went like oh my gosh. how am i supposed to get in? i can't possibly walk to the other main-gate. that's like so far. the only way was simply climbing over the gate. it was super tough can. first i had to get my HUGE bag over the gate first. then the maintenace ppl were standing around. one man came to assist me. xie xie ni! bcoz i needed some form of support for my leg. the fence on the gate's so sharp. anyway i got into school safe and sound. waited for jun to arrive. since it was still relatively early we went for running again. this time we tried a different route. yay :) my long distance is improving! he said he's better in mid-long. haha. he just didn't want to admit defeat lor. i do TRAIN okay. most of our runs go beyond the 30 minute mark. so stamina here is vital. he said my speed was quite inconsistent when he watched how i ran from the back. sometimes speed up pace sometimes maintain. i feel like speeding up then speed up lor. haha. i got no fixed way of running. after the minister left. we left too! jun and i were supposed to go have lunch in town but i kept saying i'm BROKE. then we ended up eating nothing. i followed him around looking for a pair of ankle weights. in the end he got the adidas one. super brand conscious lar he =p. we also went around checking some other stuffs. and we saw a 10/10 girl from sajc at the adidas store at heeren. really beautiful and cute. after leaving heeren we were all tired from all the walking alr so went straight home. a day well-spent =D.
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4:37 PM
Thursday, October 6
another tiring day for me. after exams just let it all out! run and run. yeah. running rocks =D. NE test today went very bad. i haven't been touching the newspapers for ages. exams and all going on for the past few weeks. i can't be bothered to even browse through the newspapers. how bad can that be. i don't know what's happening around me! i'm a blurhead. i can say more than 70% of the questions i had doubts. anyway after NE test went for fitness club briefing than jun and i proceeded to run. we had a hard time finding people to help us take care of our bags. in the end i suggested that we keep them in the office. it's pretty safe there i guess. again! the sun drove me nuts. i was running with my strained legs. and they definitely are jun! don't say i'm faking. i'm not okayy. running was complete madness. 35 mins! oh my goodness. jun wasn't feeling well. hmm. vommitted at the 32nd min. aiyo. push himself till like that. but still he's a much better runner than me. he was from x-country. 4 years of training. and i'm like a super weak shyt with poor stamina and all. but nonetheless we always go running when we have the time. marcus waited for us 'patiently' in school =p. btw i got to know marcus through jun. somehow i find that even though they are from a totally different class from me i'm still close to them. got to know marcus just a few weeks ago. hmm. he can be quite a great friend. jun's my good friend too. i'm thankful god gave me such wonderful pals. it's saddening. i'm not even close to any guy in my class. it's the not so close feeling i suppose. hmm. aloy's perfectly fine. daryl's perfectly fine too. leslie used to be really close to me. but somehow we're not so close now. is it because of the seating arrangement our teacher changed a few months ago? i really don't know. unlikely. everything in class seems to be in a mess after god knows when. even though now some things are clearer i still don't know how to react to certain situations. -nobody knows what is it to be like that- there's alot more i need to learn in life. especially when you're being dealt with a situation. what should you do then it's considered appropiate? can you tell if something goes wrong? i'm so lost when it comes to such rhetorical questions. they seemingly turn my mind upside down. i hope for a better school life. or just rid me of the pressure i face in school when i meet people. they will never realise when one truly cares and shows concern. there will be many activities coming up. inter-class games. retreat. and a nyaa trip to mawai as well. time to relex and enjoy. but i don't deserve to relax as much as those we mugged their heads off for promos. i'm still as slack as ever even when it comes to exams. i'm quite useless actually. minister for education will be coming down to cj tml. i shall complain to him how sucky jc is. i sound like such a complain king. bet i wouldn't have the guts to do so. but everyone would argee it sucks right? it does! studying just drives people nuts. and it's so not unhealthy and lifeless to study and study your life away. i pity those muggers out there. bleah =p.
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10:34 PM
Wednesday, October 5
weixin agreed that my blog's kinda plain. i find it quite dull too. maybe i shall include some pictures. but that would be later on. i'm so lazy now. my mood has been pretty slack since there are no more exams till next year. was chatting with joy over msn yesterday. i'm like really happy for her that the history notes i gave her for to stduy for her prelims are super effective. omg! she scored an a1! she was thanking me like mad ytd. =D. you're welcome. i should consider passing my notes to her. it was damn coincidental. if i remembered correctly it's sometime before my promos i happened to be online during an afternoon since i came back early that day. then joy was online too. i asked how was her revision going and all. she said she had history tml. she needed notes badly. i somehow got the notes to her on time though the next day was her paper. well when i was in sec 4 i still failed my history despite having all those notes. probably bcoz i have no interest in history at all. she scored 4As. just that she needs to brush up on her maths and she'l be perfectly fine. yeap. interest is important especially if you wish to do well in studies. i lack the interest =p. oh my goodness. there's school tml. NE quiz. after that i still have to stay back for a cca briefing. i'm occupied with cca matters from thursday to saturday. i'm so deprived of my free time! -protest- anyway the minister for education is coming to open cj's gym i heard. that's why i need to be down on friday. to like show him ard or something? they better not call me =p. i don't want! ytd when i was coming back from aloy's house. hmm. i shall blog about what i did ytd first. woke up at ard 8. slightly before 8 to prepare to go down to serangoon. a place i'm so not familiar with. our class guys were there for soccer. the sun was perpetually draining away my energy. after quite sometime i had a slight headache. that's what happens to me when i'm under the sun for too long. the last match we had [darcy was in. he came damn late!] was quite a well-played one. darcy, corny and me. the three of us. TRIO. we scored a beautiful goal each. three cheers! we hit the match point and left for aloy's house to slack. i dare say his house is a food heaven mans. the food his mummy prepared for us during tea-break was yummy! so-oo delicious. too bad cari wasn't here. or not. she will. god knows what. i left aloy's house at close to 5 bcoz i needed to rush home. it takes more than 1 1/2 hours just for me to reach home. sian. listening to my mp3 player throughout the entire bus journey. this is life. enjoy it. loves. well some songs like immortal by evanescence is such a sad song. it makes my mind rake up all the past grievances which occured to me this year. which has been the saddest year of my life i suppose? on the other hand there are happy memories to relish too. well the memories all don't hold anymore. -sad look- i'm better off to bed now =D.
rejected at ...
11:49 PM
my thighs still hurt! from the running i had two days ago and soccer ytd. i was quite surprised actually that i could still run for 1/2 an hour despite not running for so long. but somehow the left side of my chest felt quite pain. but who cares la. i just continued running and running till 30 mins past. in a way it helped me to de-stress and let go of all the not so good things. i wouldn't say unhappy things but things that can be better. especially school work. the pressure i face in school. it's never ending okayy. =p. and everything that drives me crazy. EXAMS! i think i don't have a very secured place in j2 next year. oh well. it's no use complaining a-yee i never studied hard enough. haha. but i didn't la. if i can't even cope with j1. i can't imagine what alvls would be like. haha. it would be totally impossible for me. maybe i'l see the paper and just collpase. =p. too much stress! my brains wil be cooked in no time. personally i like studying passively. i hate it so much when i have to memorise stuffs. bcoz i simply can't. haha. even if i could i would only remember like 1% of what i memorised. it's that bad la. for once i have the time to put work aside and have more time for my thoughts. just now right. mummy and i had a quite a bad tiff. well people at this adolescent age can be rebellious. i'm no exception. sigh. haha. anyway i shan't say what happened. so when daddy came back from work he reminded me again. he always does. that i shouldn't be rude and must give mummy more respect. i know i need to treat mummy better. but at times you just get so flustered up with certain things. especially when both our views and thinking on things are totally different. she can be naggy not everytime though. and i can be short tempered too. i admit we do argue occasionally. but eventually it would be like how it's like after a stormy day. beautiful rainbow! bright sky! fresh air! a new atmosphere. it's part and parcel of life that i can't run away from. like a cycle it repeats and goes on. well of course mummy and i share more happy times than angry times. i appreciate every little thing she does. i probably won't tell her but i'm thankful for the many good things she has done. <3
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7:50 PM
Tuesday, October 4
yay! i'm going off to meet daryl in school soon. then we'l go to serangoon to meet aloy, leslie, corny for soccer. forget about my all-tired legs from the LONG run i had ytd. i'm still going. corny says mustn't PS. haha. yeap. shall blog when i come home. byeee!
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8:11 AM
Monday, October 3
my exams officially end today! yeap. hoo-ray. on the other hand. sigh. i hope there's a chance for me to promote even though everything's last minute work and the TRUTH is i was never fully prepared for any paper i took. the worst part is i never get to finish a single paper i took on time. that's how it goes in jc. bad ain't it? anyway good luck to all my other friends elsewhere and including those in cjc yea! ending exams earlier doesn't mean anything too. ultimately what matters most is still the grades. come to think of it this time's promotional exam was pretty much a big screw up i guess. but since i have that little time now to relax before the results are out. i should! haha. here am i blogging. the past few days was filled with immense pressure and stress! total anxiety mans =p. i was panicking and all what if i can't finish studying on time and stuff like that. true enough i didn't finish studying at all. it's like all the odds are against you when you come unprepared. i'm such a sad case can. maybe that's the reason why i don't blog about how my papers go. i suck! yeap. i suck in everything! other people can say how well their papers have gone. i would be telling myself. 'no comments.' since when i ever passed anything in a jc? i would love to. but i always don't. did i not work hard enough? am i slow in learning? or i'm just plain stupid? i think i'm all three. doesn't God want us to have an easy way out for things? hmm. in reality nothing comes easily. be it results or even for a relationship to work well. the world i'm living in. the world i'm looking forward to is filled with just so much uncertainities and desparities. sometimes i even don't know if i have taken the correct and appropiate step forward in life. from what i am today. probably not yea. i've never achieved anything. oh well. a soul dying in the unfamiliar world if i should call it. after i said so much i just wish to PROMOTE! and get a brand new life!
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7:32 PM