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2006-02-19T21:36:00.000+08:00

busy busy busy. aerospace coming up. totally no time to blog.

2006-02-02T18:18:00.000+08:00

this time last week i was out with my sji buddies. unlike today. i decided that i should be a mummy's boy and not go anywhere but stay home. or maybe i just don't have the mood and the energy to go out today la can. so i had to tell clifton i will be going to ngee ann openhouse and my other friends who asked me to visit ngee ann with them that i'm meeting up with siujoon and clifton since siujoon's going back to australia for studies. all the best. felt bad for being super ps-er me. bleah =p. today's christine's birthday :) before i went to bed yesterday i sent her this short greeting through friendster. when i woke up today i received her reply and she asked about how was i doing and all. spent quite some time replying and started playing around with the dj mixing software that i recently installed. it's the most complicated shyt i've in my life man =p. wonder if i'll get to meet her before she leaves for new zealand. anyway i think the software is screwd up by me. it started with erqing sending me this song which her friend mixed for her. it's a super addictive and nice mix of jay chou - jian dan ai and savage garden - truly madly deeply. simply love it! now that blogspot doesn't allow me to change the dates of my entries everything will be in a mess as in the dates and all. and my habit of not blogging everyday makes it worser. sighs. erqing was making a deal with me on her modelling contest this coming friday. it went like this:
~*[Qinnie's]*~Purly White-Darkly Sweet-Hurts more than just a paper cut-I wish u love-i'm just like every other gal.. said: okie.. if i nvr get in.. u must treat me movie n lunch
~*[Qinnie's]*~Purly White-Darkly Sweet-Hurts more than just a paper cut-I wish u love-i'm just like every other gal.. said: if i get in i treat u..
©╠╣®║§said: haha. can. we find one day when i never work.
©╠╣®║§said: but i hardly watch movies one hor i tell you first.
~*[Qinnie's]*~Purly White-Darkly Sweet-Hurts more than just a paper cut-I wish u love-i'm just like every other gal.. said: hahaha.
~*[Qinnie's]*~Purly White-Darkly Sweet-Hurts more than just a paper cut-I wish u love-i'm just like every other gal.. said: nvm i bring u go watch..
i want to see her in the finals at plaza sing! but i'll probably be working. not confirmed though but most likely. hopefully she makes it through. all the best =) this friday which happens to be tml is the semi-finals at clubmomo. apparently i don't know where the heck it is. plus there's an age limit to clubs. and i don't ever want to step into a club :) cos i don't like the idea of clubbing as yet. i'm not the clubbing sort. last friday one day before cny went out with my newly acquainted friend, angeline, from my workplace. she came late but i didn't mind. it's alright if guys wait for girls but guys shouldn't let girls wait. agree? =p. since she came without having breakfast and lunch so we kinda went to look for food. ended up at taka. i didn't want to eat so she had to like force me which turned out to be rather funny. i offered her some of the pineapple tarts which mummy made. hmm she found them delicious. i think mummy makes delicious pineapple tarts too =) after lunching we went walking around, talking and blah blah blah. was supposed to get brother a shirt cos mummy said so but i can't be bothered. so many people see till sian also. it was at the adidas shop in heeren that i saw clifton with a girl which he cliams is his studying partner. haha. went over to say 'hi' to him while angie was at the counter. initially he was shocked to see me cos we met a day ago on thursday. and it was quite lucky to meet each other in town once again. it was reaching 7 and i had to return home for dinner. before i went home we dropped by the basement below paragon. followed her to watson's to look at some stuffs after which she brought bbq pork and shared with me. really sweet of her =) along the way dropped by 7-11 to get a drink and she offered to walk me to the bus-stop opposite fareast though i said countless times of NO. instead i offered to walk her to the mrt but she didn't want lor. in future it wouldn't be sending her to the mrt. it will be sending her home. lol. ended her walking me to my bus-stop then hong yan's eyes were super sharp. so many people he still happened to notice us. idiot la he. anyhow go spread rumours. on my way home on the bus was thinking. hmm angeline angeline. what about her? she's the type that can give you really good company but i don't know how to put it in words. maybe it's not meant to be put into words =D. overall she's a pretty and sweet-mama!

2006-01-31T00:14:00.001+08:00

everything went well on thursday when i met up with my old classmates from sji. we probably missed each other like hell cos everyone was having their own commitments. like they have school to attend and i have my work. but nonetheless we tried REALLY hard to meet up and we succeeded. yays! =) the last time i saw them was on teacher's day if i remembered correctly. yeah. like how sad. 4 months of not seeing your good friends. met up with siujoon first as he was in town earlier than the rest. he's having summer holidays now so yeap. he dropped by singapore and will be leaving in february or something. clifton and sherman came later cos they had school on that day. i told siujoon we shall meet up at the fountain at taka. i don't know if i did tell him which fountain it was. the inside or outside one. haha. but it's always i waiting at one fountain and my friend waiting at the other fountain. so weird. it's not the first time. it happened quite a few times. we were trying to catch up with each other as much as we could before clifton and sherman came. after the other two came we decided to dine at long john silvers cos the far east chicken rice stall was crowded as usual and expected. somehow i feel like i'm the 'big shot' when i'm with my sji pals. you know the good feeling like when you always call the shots that kind of thing. maybe cos they respect me alot as a friend. and i respect them alot as well. by coincidence we met ziwei =) was pure coincidence man. we were talking away while eating [which is a bad habit =p] then we decided that dota's next. called ziwei and his other friend along. so it was siujoon, clifton and me vs ziwei and his friend from cjc. sherman had to leave earlier due to ahem reasons. and like seriously he have a gf. before leaving for LAN we asked his gf to help the 4 of us take photos. sweet =D. it was dota - dota - dota for an hour or so. ziwei and his friend left first. after that clifton and siujoon brought me for pool. honestly speaking i really can't pool. watched them play initially. and it was extremely nice and patient of them to teach me. i did learn abit. not much though but i guess i won't touch pool for a long time. unless i meet up with them again =) which god knows when will be that day. clifton's crumpler bag was so irresistable. half way through while siu joon and clifton was playing i asked him for his bag to try out see if i look fine with it. i went out of the pool shop and PARADED around meridien. ya. seriously paraded. meridien's filled with mirrors. and i was looking at myself with bestie's bag. how dumb is that. haha. siu joon and clifton thought i was crazy. ok i was just crazy over his bag. cos it looks very good =) but 170+ bucks for a bag. -faints- where to find such money? siu joon was quite surprised with me cos for the whole day i didn't flex my arm. is it really that surprising? haha. not at all lor. anyway when they were starting on their 3rd game of pool i needed to go off. kissed siujoon good-bye. ok not so mushy as to kiss =p. hugged siujoon good-bye before leaving. i didn't want to make the good-bye thing too long or not we will both end up crying and i mean it's not nice if other people see it. it's saddening cos he will be going back to australia real soon and can only be back earliest by december. but never mind. there's always still clifton xD. see how great can your day be when you spend it with your buddies. -smiles-

2006-01-26T10:09:00.000+08:00

i went to collect my pay yesterday afternoon. shh=p. and i'm going out with my old classmates from sji later in the afternoon. don't plan to bring alot of money out either. or else they will ask me to treat LAN. yesterday night when chatting with clifton he suggested playing DOTA today. i was like ok la. then he was saying LAN costs 1.50/hr. so i tried to fake. wa lao. 1.50/hr so ex. haha. mustn't let them know i have money now. wait they will force me to pay for everything. and i haven't spent any money for myself yet. i want to go buy stuffs on friday. see if i can find anyone to go out with first. even though working is rewarding in a sense that you get money for effort you put in but i'm still wondering. why is it so complicated? does it even have to be complicated? will continue blogging if i have time when i come home.

2006-01-22T11:46:00.000+08:00

worked on monday, thursday and friday this week. monday was kinda high profile and important. mindef came to host their combined meeting with the army officials from indonesia. ness and i were in charge of serving the many guests that arrived for reception until their meeting started. they're super friendly people with super high ranks too. i might consider joining the army too =D. then later on there was lunch and blah blah blah. jacky came to help out. just had to make them feel welcomed. that's basically what the service line is about. to make people feel that they're being greeted warmly. yes. and you have to smile and smile all day long till your mouth goes like PAIN. ended around 7 plus. thursday went to meet shawn at citylink first at 8.30am before we went to work. didn't like the fact that the host of a table asked me to do this do that. every table had this host from my hotel since the hotel was hosting a free lunch for people coming from the hotel line as well. it's like really rush that day cos need to serve don't know how many dishes in such a short time. thankfully the other tables were fine. after that as usual had to do all the clearing before we could go. then on thursday got to know elizabeth too. elizabeth sounds long so i call her liz will do. went to hang out with my colleagues after work. at the same time spent time getting to know her cos she seemed like a nice girl that i can make friends with. so i let the others walked in front then was talking to her behind. everyone suddenly stopped walking at the macs in marina square. a few of them went in to eat. i didn't want to as i had kfc a day ago. followed liz, priscilia and mazina to the food court cos they didn't want fast food as well =). i ended up not getting any food. i shouldn't spend money if not i wouldn't be able to get a new mobile phone by chinese new year. i can't imagine myself not having food from morning all the way till night. none of us got to have lunch break during work as everything was super rush. priscilia said she WILL give me her extra 7610 hp cover if i get that phone. haven't really decided which phone to buy either. later on four of us went to join the others at the bowling alley. firstly i didn't play cos my bowling simply sucks. plus i don't like bowling. liz wasn't playing too. she like 'forced' me to put all my things down and sit down with that concerned concerned look. concerned cos it looked concerned mah =p. we talked a little. at the same time got to know her more. vicey-versa. she's a soccer babe xD. she used to play other sports like basketball and netball too. so cool! after watching them play 2 games of bowling it was time to go. anyway i was hungry and needed to go home to find something to eat or not i'l just faint or something. walked with liz to the mrt. i was like ok la. told myself i need to see her home cos she told me a few times she wasn't feeling well. the mrt was fcuking crowded. i hate it! sorry but that's how you react when you feel sian after work. took the train to ang mo kio with her. accompanied her to take a bus before reaching her house. although she kept saying no need no need. i said cannot cannot. haha. can't let her go home alone what if like something happens to her. she looked as if she was going to collapse anytime. her house was FAR from mine and it was late but i still didn't complain =D. it's been such a long time i really smiled until i met her for the first time. i don't know why either. maybe it's just like that or cannot be explained? i don't know. then i felt more at ease when she got back home safely. on my way in 132 back to malcom road cari smsed to tell me something happened in school. i don't wish to type it out cos there were personal things. i feel kinda sad for her. i guess people do bully her in school. i didn't reply her. called her hp instead. spoke to her for 30+ minutes before she finally went to sleep. not to mention that the 190 bus was damn crowded too. was sqeezing and talking to cari at the same time. and omg. by the time i reached home it was past 10. starving like hell. i usually don't come home this late. mummy doesn't nag as much nowadays [which is a good thing] cos i'm earning money [which is also another good thing xD]. wanted to meet up with cari on friday since my works only starts at 5 and her school ends at 2. too bad she had training for her cca. friday's work was tough i would say. especially the clearing part. make me do all the shyt work. i realise earning money makes you forget about all the fatigue temporarily. but after that your body will feel worn out and exhausted. i need to earn money cos i'm a poor guy :( oh ya. saw liz on friday. hee xD. -slaps head- i'm secretly happy. -slaps harder- i mustn't think so much. so far there're more ups than downs at work. yay. but why am i always so sad. so contradicting.

2006-01-20T00:19:00.000+08:00

i'm in a big big dilemma. should i blog, dota or type an e-mail?

2006-01-16T23:32:00.000+08:00

i had a really late dinner today at 10.30 p.m. started off working at 10 in the morning today till about 7 plus. met jacky and ness at work. so jacky was this guy my friend was telling me about. he who broke his leg on the first day of work. thankfully nothing of this sort happened to me. like OMG. he is 7 years my senior. suitable to be my kor kor =) work is so stressful. no sitting down. little rest time. i only had a half an hour lunch break. apart from that i never got any chance to even sit down. which pain-ed my legs alot. nonetheless i still love to go to work. because it helps to keep my mind in an active state. went to change up after work. ness and jacky were waiting for me outside the changing room. so i didn't want to take my own sweet time =p. walked together with the both of them to the mrt station forgoing the idea of grabbing a bite even though i'm like super starving. took the same line as ness. actually i could have taken a bus. it saves me MORE money. in the end i still decided i wanted to go by mrt because in a way it was seeing ness home too =). the journey wouldn't get too boring [compared to taking bus alone] . at least i had someone to chat with on my way home. took a quick bath and waited for daddy to buy food home from work. he usually doesn't come home this late at 10 plus. guess he had something on at work. it's getting to 12. i want to DOTA before i sleep. i'm so tired. someone please give me energy to DOTA =p.

2006-01-10T00:09:00.000+08:00

shall blog about what happened last week. so for last week i worked on friday and saturday for two days in a row. work is getting more fun and interesting each day as i get to know more people. it brings me back to sometime around this time last year when i didn't try hard enough to step out of my comfort zone to actually try hard enough to get myself a damn job. anyway the job i'm holding now in the hotel was recommended by a friend :) yeap. actually most of my job interviews and agencies were recommened by people. so it shows my efforts of finding a job aren't that great =p. to all my friends who tried getting me a job. -thanks!- i still have one job pending at suntec. maybe when the slots for the hotel are full i'l book empty slots at suntec if there happen to be any so at least i do something productive. on friday it was a little different. someone i didn't know came up to me and she told me. you're so & so's friend right. then i was surprised for a moment. how you know?? after that when we chatted i found out she's my friend's friend. hmm. what a small world. in fact you can be indirectly linked to many people around you just that you don't know =p. anyway we talked more and more and more when work ended. and she lives just 5 blocks away from me. omg la. that's even more surprising. so we took the same transport home. hee. i love my job! sad thing is i need to buck up my chinese because i always end up not understanding what people say. probably too chim for me :( for now work can kill [because it's more tiring than my workout] but yet it's a pleasure =D. and i don't mind the long hours. sadly i don't have time for exercise now. fei si wo!

2006-01-05T13:31:00.000+08:00

woohoo. i'm going random in dota. random-ed my way today. the first game i had this morning i got venomancer. the other game i got spirit breaker. damn good hero. i had a totally clean sheet. didn't get pawned at all today. though a few times i was so close to dying when i pawned a hero. some team-mates just suck especially those in the 3v3 game. when i got 3 kills they've not even gotten a single kill and they said i'm not helping the team. fuck can. the 5v5 game was quite ok. apart from those leavers. always can't have a good game on battlenet. people tend to leave half way throughout the game for whatever reason. yesterday's game was VERY HORRIBLE. i got holy knight. omg. i didn't know how to use that hero at all. except supporting my team-mates a little with the ultimate and the don't know what teleporting spell. guess it didn't help much either. conclusion: i suck at support heroes. like holy knight =p. dota tonight again xD. will be working for the next two days which is friday and saturday. just collected my pay for new year's eve yesterday. yay. trying very hard to save up now. hopefully i can get myself a new mobile phone before chinese new year.

2006-01-03T01:00:00.000+08:00

i only had 3 kills today. argh :( and i was using chaos knight. that makes it even sadder because ck's one of my better heroes. i seriously should learn how to use more heroes though i totally hate some heroes but i'l TRY. every game i'l go mid lane. don't know whether it's a good or bad thing but people were telling me. mid lane is for PROS. really?? heck la. anywhere will do. today my team-mates were ok. as in we supported each other quite well though in the end we still lost. it was a 5v4 game :( i'm sure one less hero on our team does make a difference. aiya. people always leave half way in battlenet. what to do. the worst is still getting fucked-up team-mates. for eg. saying you keep feeding when they have like even more deaths than you. dota is not that FUN till the extent that i'm addicted to it but it does help me past my time and beat the boredom :) haha. nights.

2006-01-01T23:39:00.000+08:00

hee hee :) i had 2 matches of dota today. practice makes perfect! my current hero is chaos knight. he rocks! the ultimate is gay. it can take on towers like mad =D. haha. i need to work on what recipe build to get. have been trying out a few to see which one suits best so that i can get more kills =p. today the maximum no. of kills i got in a game is 6. looks like i have to train harder still. i want to reach 10 kills! bleah.

2006-01-01T18:12:00.000+08:00

i worked for the first time ever in my life. on new year's eve :) i arrived at marina about an hour earlier before my work starts so i get to roam around seeing what nice stuffs are there. before i went to the hotel i changed into my black pants and shoes in one of the toilets in marina square. that reminded me of the massive flood which took place in the shopping mall. everyone was like giving the omg reaction when they practically saw water pouring down from the ceiling somewhere outside world of sports. anyway back to work. since i was new there so naturally i was blur and my friend didn't work yesterday :( and there was no one i knew there. but i still managed to get help from people. thankfully. hmm it was alright. still managed to 'pull through' everything. there were a handful of nice peeps and chaps that i got to know while working. pretty fun-loving people. then there was stuffs to learn like how to use the serving gear which i can't really master as yet. basically this is how the job went. first i did some cocktail serving at the reception and kinda welcomed the guests too. not so much of welcoming but rather serving them with drinks. just got to make sure they feel welcomed. now comes the slightly tough part. which was serving the wedding banquet. so each of us was assigned to a table. and we need to take care of bringing out food. changing plates. refilling drinks and cater to the needs of the guests. it was also the first time ever in my life that i've sliced a duck in front of so many people. for a first timer i think i still can make it. just that i need to improve more so i can do a better job in future :) the rate was really appealing too. $8/hr. omg. that was what i heard from my friend. hee. too bad she wasn't working there yesterday. after all the 9 dishes were served we had to do clear up as well. oh that's life of working in a hotel :( at midnight everyone went up to the poolside to catch a view of the fireworks display at esplanade. it was so pretty-yy. the shiny shiny patterns and the thumping thumping sound. omg!! xD. i wished all my friends i made on the day itself happy new year though i can only recall a few of their names. people like cunxi, joe, shawn, a malay guy (i don't know his name) and others which i don't know their names either. they were a nice bunch of peeps to work with given this is the first time i met them. after fireworks was just clearing and clearing till 2. i can't believe it. the job is even tougher than my workout. maybe probably because my workout isn't intense enough. my back, legs and arms hurt like crazy. argh. there was cab back. shared cab with 3 other girls because the hotel can't afford to send everyone home in one cab. that would be like a total waste of money. the place outside marina square was in a mess. so much rubbish being thrown around. we walked to esplanade to book a cab instead. hmm esplanade was only a little better. still as much people though. we only got on our cab at like 3 plus. then the girls requested that they wanted to go home first. yeap. i was fine with it and ended up only reaching home at 4. i was dying in church today due to the lack of SLEEP =p. happy new year van, sally, yi min, my taxi-mates for spending time talking to me. and of course everyone :) somehow new year's mood is still quite saddening after saying so much.

2005-12-30T21:24:00.000+08:00

it doesn't matter how long the love lasts. you will be contented once you know you were in love before...

2005-12-27T22:38:00.000+08:00

i don't feel alright and well this days anymore. seriously. my life is no longer life anymore. ooh why am i saying such a thing?? -slaps forehead- my chest is always hurting like crazy (fuck) like how it does now. i don't know whether it is due to over-training which i don't think is the likely reason or for whatever damn reason things happen. today was so omg. i found out something quite unpleasant. it's got to do with one of my friends actually. this friend of mine. so the situation goes something like that. "i lied to you about alot of things because i was trying to match-make you with my friend and her name is whatever. and she is sec 3 this year. we used to be super good friends and she sort of like you so i lied to you that i'm her but now we are not friends anymore so i think i should tell you the truth. i'm really only going to be sec 3 next year. and in the past it was all her. not me. only starting this year it was me talking to you. you 'liked' the wrong girl. the girl last year was her. it wasn't me at all. i'm really sorry. i always wanted to tell but i didn't know how to. sorry.'' my mood changed quite abit while i was out with my family after i got to know through sms. however i so didn't want to pull a long face and all because i was out with my family and didn't want to ruin the happy mood =). think of it. it is quite sucky when such things happen to you. i don't know if i can put things in the nicest way but i'm sure life deals you with HELL lot of problems. not just this though. in fact i don't know what to tell her now as well. it is like oh my god. what can i say man? i'l shelve this for the time being. i have other stuffs to worry about. such as it will be my very first time working this saturday. i'm excited. yes! i have been a slacker for like how long and now it is really time for me to get OUT of my comfort zone and do something productive. sshh. i want to get a mp3 player for my brother's birthday since a few months ago i kind of traded away his ipod to get my current player for a cheaper price =p. hmm. i better blog this now or else i will forget it soon. by the way daddy was opening the letter box and to our surprise there was this sweet and pretty card inside. so we were all so curious to find out who sent it to brother. mummy was the most curious so she was the first to look at the card and opened it. i think it was his primary school classmate or something. the card was sweet that it was quite nicely done and there was even a small neoprint of her inside which both my parents found it cute. i haven't really looked at it. just a quick glance. that's all. heh. i'm not the least interested in my all my brother's gfs. bleah. i heard daddy reading it out what was in the card. 'this is my e-mail. please please please reply :)' yes. it's true she wrote so many 'pleases'. if i were him of course i would be touched i guess. well i don't know about him though. but i think i will try to get him to reply because it seems like he is not keen on replying since he wakes up before 7 every morning just to play dota. can you imagine? dota-ing before 7 in the morning?! i'm still sleeping like a piece of log =p. hmm. as for christmas it was church in the morning. then after church i took pictures with grandpa with this huge christmas tree located at the front of the church. helped brother took a shot as well. my eyecandy in church was there taking pictures too. hee hee xD. good thing i was there taking pictures and she went right beside me and started taking too. ok. beside. not RIGHT beside. haha. i went there first. nothing of the sort that i saw her there then i purposely went there to take. seriously. anyway i don't fancy her as an eyecandy anymore. aiya. i don't even know her name. how bad can that be. mummy was telling me 'heh. why see her there never go and wish people merry christmas?' hahaha. no comments! yeah. i should have. but sadly i didn't. ok. i supposed i have updated a little? =D. maybe dota later in the night.

2005-12-24T02:19:00.000+08:00

on candice's kind request i'l forget it. anyway i'm tired and i need a BREAK. chatted with ann till this late. omg. it's half past 2 in the morning. -yawns- and it's x'mas eve. rejoice!

2005-12-23T01:13:00.000+08:00

i'm so going to report the person who sent me an sms reading 'Fuck off sucker'. i don't even know who the heck he is. so i replied saying 'Who the fuck is this?' i'm going to the police sometime this week or next week. and if this is the kind of game you want to play...

2005-12-22T01:44:00.000+08:00

WTF?! my com crashed THREE times this month.

2005-12-17T01:24:00.000+08:00

need for speed most wanted. here i come! no more dota for me. i love my need for speed most wanted. and i got it for free =p. that's all for today.

2005-12-11T00:29:00.000+08:00

this is a little entry before i go to bed. mummy woke me up at 5 to bathe, have breakfast and all bcos we'l be following daddy's car down to grandparents' place and he'l be rushing off to work. unfortunately i didn't get enough sleep the night before. was doing some windows blind visual stuffs on my com. at the same time ann was chatting with me till daddy woke up and asked me to catch some rest. that was around 1. 4 hours of sleep is hell NO =p. this week i went for two job interviews on thursday. the first one was at pearls centre. that place is seriously damn old and screwed up. i was there early even though i missed the bus-stop i was supposed to alight. before i even went in the unit i was supposed to have the preview i alr didn't have a good impression. actually the job's about some co-ordinating shyt which required me to PAY some sort of registration fee first. and it's not easy to work as a co-ordinator. i guess it's something like having your own student network and match tuition teachers of this company to your own contacts. if you close a deal only then you'l get money. what the hell! i hate doing this kind of job. no fixed salary so i can forget it. left the place and rang up jun to ask him about the job agency at suntec. was telling him about how sucky was the job. at the same time was joking with him saying all my friends from sji no need tuition one la. haha. anyway he gave me the wrong number at first. i called up and asked if this is job agency. the person was abit shocked and was like huh? haha. i got the correct number from him after quite sometime waiting for him to search for it. i sound so desperate for a job all of a sudden huh. YES i am! i don't want to end up the first three months of this year. JOB-less! maybe i'm too choosy and fussy about working conditions. i seriously should be more chin chai. was too tired to go anywhere after my second attempt to get a job at suntec. i hope i can have a job soon! well for today mummy and grandma went off early before 7 to help out in church. leaving brother, grandpa and me. as i didn't get enough sleep from yesterday so almost half of my morning was spent catching up on my sleep. woke up at like around noon. by then mummy and grandma bought lunch back. after lunching i forced mummy to go cycling with me. it's bad. cos this is the FIRST time i actually cycled with mummy. how sad. anyway we went to the park while mummy was resting i went to do chin-ups. omg. i could do only 12. i was SO depressed cos i've been training. not very hard but still reasonable to make me feel tired. maybe i was lazy to push myself? don't know la. made me so disappointed. the fun part was it was the very first time i cycled with mummy. cos she usually doesn't agree and won't. we went back 15 minutes later. brother just woke up from his nap. i asked him if he wanted to come with mummy and me for cycling. haha. he was like ok SURE! so it's another round of cycling for me. brother went to do chin-ups too! mummy was laughing at the way he did. quite ok what. haha. i was suan-ing and making fun of brother saying wah lao 7 only. so little leh. so i showed him i could do 10! haha. second time i was doing so arms abit no power alr. then he told me aiyah i can do more just that i never. always like that huh my brother. never admits defeat! i must say he's pretty good. i couldn't do 7 when i was in sec2. mummy, brother and me rushed home cos we didn't want to keep grandpa and grandma waiting. then all of us went out shopping and jalan jalan. towards the end of the day was tiring. cos grandpa told me he intended to paint his roof so he needed to wash off the stains and all the dirt before he could do the painting. being a REALLY angelic grandson that i always am i offered to help. haha. spent 2 hours? or more than that i'm not too sure but anyhow i was scrubbing and scrubbing till my arms went weak. till the sky started growing dark as well. i covered only the roofs around the garage and garden. there' still a long stretch behind the veranda. i'l probably be cleaning it soon too. i was standing on a ladder and scrubbing at the same time. wah lao. damn slippery with the water and all. my index finger got cut my the metal roof. luckily it wasn't that deep a cut. my whole body was dreanched with the dirty water. stinks! at like 7+ when it was too dark too clean had to get down from the ladder and quickly rushed to have my bath. felt MUCH cleaner and refreshed. by the time i finished bathing dinner was ready at 8. yummy delicious noodles grandma whipped up for me and grandpa of couse. it was really filling. in fact she always cooks too much extra. end up i having to finish up. cos can't waste food. no choice just had to swallow everything down. argh. i'm going to burst like a ballon =p. and followed by blogging now =D. what i'm in need most now is a job. yes a job will be good enough for me. waiting for calin's reply. i need her to tell me whether is there any vancancy available at the place she works. i might be a waiter. i don't mind as long as there's income $. enough for today. i know it's abrupt to end my entry here. well i need rest for church tomorrow. nights.

2005-12-07T01:23:00.000+08:00

first i want to complain! haha. my brother has been hogging on the com for hours ever since the com came back. thankfully i still get to use when he goes to sleep. nobody in the family sleeps as late as i do. so everytime there's a chance for me to use the com still. life has been monotonous during those com-less days. now that it's back life is totally different. i don't think i want to spend too much time on games. once in a while i still have a match or two of DOTA with my cousin. he's too pro for me. so i always end up losing. not fun =p! i usually look at how he plays. i suppose he improved quite alot seeing the way he plays and the 'pro' advices he always gives me. haha. lately i have been crapping with brother ALOT till he can't seem to stand me any longer. he's not only my brother now but my crapping partner too! we simply crap about anything under the sun. hahaha. i miss soccer. now that the com's here nobody seems to want to go out of the house anymore. unlike those days when the com was still under repair brother and i would go for soccer almost everyday. see how a com can change your life =p. haha. i'm getting a job soon. jun recommended me a job agency when he rang me up not too long ago. but i alr got a few interviews at hand so i should just try for them. jun passed his supplementary exams. congrats bro =D. don't think he'l see it bcos i don't think he knows i keep a blog. anyway from what i know he doesn't fancy stuffs like blogs. so yeap. on the other hand it's sad bcos he can't join me in poly if he stays in cj. i got the new madonna and girls aloud album! oh ya. one of my cousins gave me the new jocie guo mei mei album. the one on tee-vee which goes maih-ha. whatever the spelling. haha. the songs all sound quite lame though but the tunes are kinda groovy? i don't know. and guo mei mei has such a squeaky voice! i've uploaded them into my mp3 player. shall listen when i get into bed later. brother says he doesn't want to study in sji anymore. i wasn't a busybody so i didn't question him. he's planning for a transfer. his interview with the new school is scheduled tomorrow. good luck to him =) if i can wake up and that's IF. i'll follow him. haha. wonder how is it like in the working world. i so have yet to experience it. bcos i haven't got a job in my entire life before. that's like how bad.

2005-12-03T23:28:00.000+08:00

had pancakes and honey for supper at grandparents' place. there's always nice food here for me :) on the other hand it's so wrong to have supper. -slaps head- bcos it's super unhealthy. people like leslie who's wondering why i haven't been online. sorry yea. no com for past 2-3 weeks. today did nothing much. woke up early like 5 in the morning had cornflakes for breakfast. bathed and all to get ready since daddy's going to fetch mummy, brother and me down to grandparents' place. that's basically how i spend my saturdays. with my dear grandparents. i slept here all the way from 8 till 11. i'm such a PIG! sometimes aunt comes down too. like today. she bought yu tiao for me. super oily can. now i try to reply tags bcos like more people tag nowadays. so yeap. sickening aloy used the msn voice function and chatted with me yesterday. saying he was too lazy to type. bleah. his voice sounded so lifeless and sleepy which in turned made me feel like sleeping too. but i ta-haned till 2 plus in the next morning. was installing and configurating stuffs on my com since i just got it back on friday. i've a sudden craze for eminem songs. maybe it kind of has the power to cheer me up when i can't seem to look on the bright side of things. like how the song ' Halie's Song' goes. i can't be bothered though it might be more meaningful if i post the lyrics of the entire song. 'sometimes it feels like the world's on my shoulder, everyone's leaning on me... sometimes it feels like the world's almost over, but when she comes back to me...' it's similar when people turn to you for help and support when they need a shoulder to cry on. and the times when they seemingly feel that they can do better on their own you'l feel that your world's almost over bcos in a way it's like you're being 'used'. yeap. suchs things are no doubt saddening but we still have to face them. my mind's too tired to think about stuffs to blog =p. so i shall stop here. bye-ee!

2005-12-03T14:14:00.000+08:00

i'm typing on daddy's laptop now. shall post it on my blog when my com comes back this friday. i'm just too lazy to set-up and configure the internet connection since it’s his office laptop. anyway it's just two days to friday. so yeap. i can wait. i’l post it on friday. i sent my com for repair like 2-3 weeks ago when it came back on last wednesday or thursday i can't remember exactly when the technicians changed a motherboard without an AGP slot. why can't they do their fucking job properly?! only after the person left then i kind of opened up the com bcos it's not that nice to open it up in front of him. realised that there wasn't a AGP slot when i wanted to plug in my graphics card. so i had to call him back to collect the com and change another new motherboard. till now i can't believe it they take so damn long just to get that part replaced. it's true i'm pissed with them. there's nothing much i can do about either. but the good thing is my com has extended warranty. so everything they replace would be free. yes. it's FREE :) however i don't like that fact they are so slow. on the other hand i lost contact with quite a few of my friends. saddening :( anyway i've lived with it. yesterday i was supposed to go down to sentosa for a class gathering. it was meant to be a stay-over too. sounds fun yea. decided to meet jun leong in the morning at 11 first. bcos i asked him along to sentosa as well. i was stucked in a bottle-neck traffic in bke. reached city link mall half an hour late. i saw him waiting there as patient as he can be. haha. sorry jun! really delighted to be able to meet up with him again. when i first saw him we both had the nostalgic kind of feeling after not seeing each other for so long. we were back to our usual selves after we started talking for awhile. oh he's such a good buddy i made in cj. too bad next year i won't be around in that sch. will be missing him =p. we walked around quite alot of places. he even recommeded and brought me to Max Brenner Chocolate Bar at Esplanade. he's just so nice. haha. before having chocolate i brought him to the roof terrace which he had no idea what it's like before since he has never been up there. we slacked for 15 mins or so enjoying the scenery there. i get tired out easily bcos i trained that morning before going off to meet him. and the bag itself i was carrying was enough to kill with all the clothes for stay-over and the beach. my shoulders were aching. evil jun was laughing at me saying my shoulders are weak. rubbish la. nowadays i train hard! in fact i work out every morning now before i start my day. i just feel that i seriously need to train up. yeap. that's about it. the chocolate bar was had a so so romantic ambience. the perfect place for couples. we ordered this suckao milk chocolate. i must say this is the first time i actually indulge myself in high-class quality chocolate. they had like small chocolate pieces on a plate and they provide you with a small metal bowl with a candle at the bottom so that you can like melt the chocolates and add how much milk into it yourself. so heavenly i tell you. i simply love it. as we were drinking the melted chocolate we were discussing when to leave for sentosa. and when he told me there was no stay-over anymore i was like wtf?! if there's no stay-over then i'l probably won't make a trip all the way to sentosa. jun said having no stay-over makes it less fun by how many million times. haha. i agreed too. 'great minds think alike yea!' think they went sentosa's outing was to celebrate whoever's attached to whoever. was telling him that too. both of us were alr tired and we chose to hang out a little longer and not go to sentosa. after that we went off to look at watches. jun considered buying a GUESS watch and he was asking my opinion. at the same time i told him about this pink GUESS watch my friend liked. it costs slightly less than 160 bucks after discount. he posted me two questions which got me thinking. 'what do you gain after you buy it for her?' the other question i couldn't recall. well don't wish to go into that now. by the time we finished looking at watches it was 3 plus. he was hungry so we went to food junction at raffles city. he had a bowl of wanton mee whereas i just drank water and watched him eat =p. don't wish to spend anymore money on food after having chocolate earlier in the day. decided to hang out for AWHILE more. before going off we had quite a personal convo. he was asking me stuffs and i gave as much advice and help i could. i know something secretive about him =p. for me i’m quite alright in telling anything’s that on my mind. i usually don't keep stuffs from my close pals and buddies. no harm telling them bcos i trust them alot. i shall blog again. till then. to people i lost contact this few weeks bcos of my spoilt com. i'l get in touch with you guys as soon as my com is back.

2005-11-20T01:17:00.000+08:00

i just came back to my grandparents' house not long ago. yeap. had hell LOT of fun and excitement today. so no matter how late it is i will still continue to blog. oh man. and there's church tml. i have to wake up extremely early bcos uncle's coming over to borrow grandpa's car to travel to malacca. of all times my com at home has to break down. it's now away for repair. sadly. hopefully by the end of next week i will get to use my com again! can't wait for my com to come back. haha. the big day today's tim's 17-teenth bday. in fact ytd bcos i'm like blogging after midnight. i left my grandparents' house at about half past 6 and waited freaking long at the bus-stop for the bus to arrive. met yi liang at the bus-stop outside raffles town club. thereafter we chatted and walked while making our way to tim's house. i actually called him to wish him sweet 17-teenth before i reached his house. miss him so much! i can't believe it this was the first time i'm meeting him this year. then i was thinkig how blessed a guy he is. haha. his gf looks abit eurasian?! super cool. anyway yi liang and i were one of the first few who arrived at his place. so we kinda waited for the rest of the 404 peeps. had a pretty great time playing xbox before going down for dinner. i had a few pieces of prata from this specially hired indian guy to make pratas on the spot. haha. blowing of candles and cutting of cakes were a total MESS. although i wasn't the bday boy but i ended up getting myself smashed with chocolate cake. i realised getting smashed on the face isn't that bad after all. it's getting fully chocolate-coated cake being smashed right into your EARS that's disgusting. haha. jonathan did it to me :( but we had like a great deal of fun. so it's was quite alright. just had a difficult time removing the chocolate. that's all. managed to get tim's parents to take a few group pics of the 404 pics. tim's mummy looks SO SO young. she can easily pass off as his sister =D. then yi liang wanted to show us a surprise. we had to walk about 15 mins to a quiet place where there are less houses before he could show us. it's actually this sparkle thingy that would shoot into the air after the fuse is up after the thing's lighted. it looked so cool and filled the darkness of the night with lots of colour. come to think of it. he's quite brilliant considering that he did it himself. -claps hands- on our way back to his house we were this mad-ded bunch of peeps doing crazy stuffs. OMG! OMG! i even kicked an oncoming taxi. the taxi stopped and told my other friends at the back that eh your friend in front ah. oops. can't really remember what the taxi-driver said. haha. but it was something unpleasant =p. pik requested that i take out my shirt while walking back to tim's house. so being the ahem sort. i DID. haha. bcos can show off abit mah. since i've been training and doing pushups at home for the past few weeks. although i need to attain a better build but i'm so-so with my build now. back to tim's house sherman, yi liang and i went to the basement to help tim's gf clean up the place. after cleaning it was soccer time! jon and i formed a team. yi liang and damien another team. we played winning eleven! hooray. 90 mins of full time score 2-2. [think in actual fact the game lasted only about 10 mins each half] i scored a header! -jumps for joy- went on to extra time. jon and i kept the score for extra time for the first half at 0-0. going on to the second half of extra time we lost closely to damien and yi liang. yee! we could have played better. by now the time's alr approaching midnight. all of us had to make our leave. guess we created too much of a din :( hope we didn't disturb the neighbours and tim's parents too much. wished tim's mummy goodnight before i left. i must say his parents are really good hosts. his mummy even told me next time come again alright. haha. and i went okie! no problem :) yi liang offered to give jon and i a lift to sixth avenue as there were no buses after midnight. i was telling jon about my life. how depressed and happy at the same time life can get. we passed by *someone's* condo. -big sigh- i couldn't help it. i just like spoke everything which came to mind. like god knows what. i wish i never had a past i did. i wish i wasn't caught in love before. i seriously don't know what was right for me at that time. i suppose the best part of it all is the right person entering your life at the right time. no point having the rest person entering your life at an inappropiate time. although things might still work out for quite awhile in the long run it will just make you cling onto false hope and live everyday thinking that things will turn out positively when they actually aren't. sometimes i ask myself do i still miss her and i can sit there wondering for hours but i won't come to an answer. ok. just forget it. fuck it. i just want to let all my friends out there know i love you ALL and for those who made my life beautiful i'l always be here for you too. hug. no doubt. message for the birthday boy tim :) [this coming year has made us known each other for 5 years. it's been a pleasure getting to know you ever since i came to sji during my sec1 days till presently. when someone asks me what's life's greatest gifts? you'l definitely wouldn't be left out. becos you're this great. and all these years i've know you. you're a truly great pal =) cheers to our friendship. remember? you, yi liang and me made the whacky trio back in sec3 and sec4. haha. yeap. happy 17th birthday tim! we'l go cycling soon. like next saturday? i look forward to meeting you again. take care.] and all the wonderful people who made my day. thanks to yi liang, patrick, wu yuan, ashley, jee yuen, damien, pik yang, jonathan, sherman and of cos tim! i spent an hour plus blogging. and i ought to be sleeping. -yawns- goodnight. grandma just came out to check on me which means i really have to get to bed!

2005-11-10T21:08:00.000+08:00

second time i went to school this week. followed daddy's car to school in the morning. then i had to wait for the office to open before i could hand in my appeal letter since i reached school kinda early. after handing in my appeal letter i went to the canteen to slack, listened to music as well. and chatted with kavitha too. quite surprised when she told me she was from x-country in cescent. -rolls eyes- we were chatting away and she needed to find mr tan for some admin stuffs. i received a call from mummy she asked me to look for my teachers. so yeap. i went to look for my chemistry teacher. talked to her about appealing stuffs AGAIN. mummy just wants me to be given a second chance. i doubt my appeal will be successful. sigh. studies really suck. so i shouldn't like go bother about it too much. it just makes me sick and tired. anyway i tried contacting sherie in the morning for lunch. since she said she's free after work so we kinda agreed on lunching =D. while waiting met wiexin outside the school library. went to talk to her for awhile. then we saw this guy playing crazy taxi on the com outside the school library. i asked him how did he get the game. he told me every com has that game. i was like omg. really?! so being mad people weixin and i decided to challenge. haha. i must say it was a really close game. but i still won in the end =p. she had 4 customers. whereas i had 5! yay. see. guys are better drivers =p. after that it was 12+ alr. i decided to WALK to botanical gardens to pick my friend up. yeap. she works in one of tourists shops there. being the blur me i went to the wrong part of botanical gardens. omg. i felt quite bad cos sherie had to walk all the way back to the visitor centre to meet me. then we walked all the way to the bus-stop which was quite a distance away. but it didn't seem quite long cos we were busily chatting away. went to town. had our lunch at bk. walked around at far east basement for like less than 10 mins and daddy rang me up. which means i had to go home. yeap. daddy said he wanted to bring us out to sim lim square to look for coms. sorry sherie for ps-ing you in a way. i doubt you will this. haha. anyway i took the same bus as her. and we went home. yeap. pretty well-spent day. and i think i talked alot. in fact too MUCH.

2005-11-09T08:02:00.000+08:00

now i'm spending my time in school blogging away. i finished I & R. yeap. JUST. the new com in school rocks! firstly i feel damn pissed. my personal com at home is down. it has been quite a few days. SOB. i think it's probably becos of excessive dota-ing. the past few weeks brother has been playing dota for like how many million hours everyday. plus when i come home i continued using the com till kinda late every night. argh. how?! someone save me! for the whole of yesterday afternoon i was trying to retrieve my files and data on my com by during a direct transfer from the hard drive to another hard drive. but it didn't work much. it just couldn't work. now i'm at a lost. so LOST. it sucks when your com has to spoil. it's like really weird. the CPU can run and all but it just can't display graphics on the monitor when windows starts loading. i analysed and i don't think there's any problem with the graphics card sigh. what can it be? it sucks when something like that has to happen to your com. totally SUCKS!

2005-11-05T21:42:00.000+08:00

played soccer for a couple of hours in the morning with my brother. he recommended turf-city which was like quite far away from the house. well i told him to try this new area somewhere down the road near bukit timah cc. there were proper goalposts and all so i guess it wasn't too bad a place. anyway we played there till about 9 and we had to start getting ready to cycle home since grandparents, mummy and aunt are waiting for us at home so we could all go out together at 10. argh. the seat of my bicycle's screwed up man. i almost 'DIED' the previous time i fell down from my bicycle. all thanks to the seat. i need to get it repaired or replaced asap or not it'l be super dangerous when i cycle. we all went to suntec for a computer exhibition. yes. AGAIN. alr went to one IT show this year. before that we had a light lunch at the ground floor of suntec where they sell, laksa, wanton mee, prata, etc. if i'm not wrong the eatery's called congress or smth. aunt bought mutabak for me to try. YUMMY. it was damn filling :) but price wise it costs $3.80 for one. ex- right? don't you think so? there was quite a huge exhibition on traffic road safety going on as well apart from the computer one. met my super younger cousins, aunt and uncle there too. the road safety thingy was rather similar to the road safety park near east coast park. took lots and lots of pics. thereafter we went to esplanade. yeap. i suggested there becos grandpa and grandma have never been there before. so i was thinking i'l take this chance to bring them there to have a look =D. the roof terrace was a *beautiful* as well as and an -awful- experience for me at the same time. god knows why. after that we went down to the river side. there were alot of people waiting for their turns to wake-board. i can conclude wake-boarding is a COOL sport. i saw all the cool hunks and babes did their stunts in the waters. some were exceptionally good man. - drools- dinner was next. yeap. followed by HOME. i slept throughout the car journey. pardon me. i was really very tired. -yawns-

2005-11-04T22:47:00.000+08:00

today's the second time in the week we have our oral presentation. this time i cut short my presentation by quite alot i must say. the previous time was like omg. super long. on the whole our group went quite ok i think. elena presented well =D. good job ele. i still have my insights and reflections to complete. SIAN. after school ended went town with ele, weixin, ann, hazel, les and aloy. had chicken rice at far east. i simply love the soup. it tasted great. yeap. thereafter we went to take neoprints. too bad aloy didn't want to join us in taking. maybe before he had a BAD experience taking neoprints?! argh. i couldn't get him to take. leslie tried too. but to no avail. haha. so it's just the 6 of us. ele, weixin, ann, hazel, les and me. crazy people of t38 did spatic-ated poses. it turned out to be quite nice =D. yes. i love the pics. corny came and joined us since it was his lunch break. yeap. we all talked as we walked. leslie treated us ICE-CREAM. where to find such a NICE guy?! thanks so much for the treat bro =D. the girls wanted more. so after everyone finised the 3 cups. they went to buy another 2 more. haha. mad mad. normally i wouldn't allow myself to eat stuffs like ice-cream. but this time it was irresistable =p. cariann didn't come along. should i say luckily? bleah =p. i needed to go off at like 3. went off with aloy, hazel, ele since they needed to leave too. super funny can. i was wearing slippers and it was very inconvenient for me to chase the bus in my slippers. so i took out my slippers and ran bare-footed in front of everyone. i bet so many people out there must be thinking i'm out of my mind. haha. i didn't want to MISS the bus. daddy picked me up from school. okay. call me a daddy's boy if you want =p. omg. i feel bad again. my parents didn't really know i went out. if they do they would probably say you did so BADLY still have the cheek to go out with your friends. so i have to be smart and keep it from them to prevent myself from all the tongue-lashings. i sound so mean :(

2005-11-02T23:43:00.000+08:00

now it's holiday for most peeps. for me i'm not quite in the holiday mood. i still have stuffs to worry about on where i would go if my appeal which is sometime next week is not successful. chances are it would be unlikely. so i just have to prepare myself for the worst that happens. you can be sailing smoothly and doing alright in life and all of a sudden after knowing that your education has been disrupted by something which is just really unpredictable like results. well at least that's what i think. there's no gurantee that you'l do well even if you study hard for exams. not that i did. but still i feel that no matter how beautiful life can be there's still the dark and unpredictable side to it. we can never be sure what the future holds for us. i regretted procrastinating and procrastinating my studies and doing every single thing except prioritising my studies at the top. my studying attitude still didn't improve. how bad. argh. if i were to carry on like that i don't think i can achieve anything in life man. i used to keep saying i need a change badly. but i always never put my words into action. it's as good as not saying i want to change my outlook towards studying. someday it must happen or not i'l be a failure all my life =p. this morning we had to be in school for the dry run for our project work presentation. i must say it went pretty bad for me becos i was never prepared for anything. not my exams let alone oral presentation. i kind of went on an impromptu for some parts of my presentation though for certain parts i needed to refer to stuffs. overall i think i talked way TOO long. omg. even ms lee said so. i still haven't finished some parts of my presentation but since time was running out we had to move on to the next speaker. :( i don't like the feeling when i still have things unsaid. okay. next round i'l be less long-winded. after presentation ms lee came and questioned me again. for the don't know how many time. she has been asking 'so how?' aiyo. talked to her for quite abit before i left with the guys and gals for subway. anyway i didn't have any money with me. so i just sat there and watched my classmates eat. poor me =p. brought two bucks to return leslie and all i had left was 60 cents. yes. i'm poor! darcy and aloy offered me a cookie. i didn't want to take it initially. will pai seh mah. they were like forcing me saying 'just take it la chris!' thanks aloy and darcy. ALOT. i appreciate my classmates. one year has passed and i'm glad that i've found my close friends in class. yeap. waited for corny to arrive. had his food then we left for leslie's house to play basketball and soccer. basketball was the most crappy game i have ever played. probably becos i suck at it. have alot to learn from aloy and leslie. i scored three 3 pointers. how was that aloy? haha. i guess it's was tyco of me too. i have no talent in basketball or any sports. maybe except cycling? i love cycling hell alot. and i think i have close to 8 years experience. experience sounds like such a big word. okay. i shall substitute it with i don't know what =p. after playing for an hour or so brandon and me had to leave first. sorry aloy and corny. ps the both of you. hope you don't mind. after bran got up the taxi leslie poo crossed the road and chatted with me while i was waiting for my bus. so nice of him =D. talking to him is just nothing else but fun. he's such an interesting guy to talk to. haha. the trip to leslie's place was so a guy's gathering. guys of t38 all the way! bloody daryl didn't ask him to come along he refused. on the whole my day went pretty well. -jumps for joy- i sound like someone who's out of his mind. haha. to leslie: ALL THE BEST to you next year! remember what i told you? train hard and go for it. follow your heart. yeap. that's all i can say yea. i'm sure things will turn out well. no worries yea. if you happen to see this and you need help you can always look me up okay.

2005-10-28T16:02:00.000+08:00

today's officially the last day of school. we had this ceremony what they would call the graduation ceremony. maybe for me the atmosphere was abit sadder for me than the rest. well the ceremony started with a prayer service. that's what always takes place in a catholic school before every important occasion. brandon and me were crazily joking about stuffs before the actual ceremony began. we got so carried away that we kept laughing so mad. then we had to quieten ourselves down [sounds so primary-schoolish] when the ceremony started. i thought the part on reflection was especially meaningful. like it makes us think of the many good times and happy things we are blessed with the moment we step into the school. our class, the peeps we got to know throughout the course of the year, the nice surroundings and facilities in school, the supportive and patient teachers, everything that makes it unbearable to leave the school. there were skits and dance during the ceremony too! dance was superb and the skits were entertaining and amusing at the same time. oh ya. and the prize giving session was simply the best becoz our class won the best j1 class of 2005. hooray. cheers to t38. despite always being the havoc class as well as a dirty class literally dirty i mean we still managed to clinch the best class title. it was quite a surprise for me though. the feeling was just so great. photo-taking of the champion class on stage after the ceremony ended =D. poor aloy got tau-poked by the guys on stage. thankfully i wasn't the guy right at the bottom. still remembered when tau-pok took place at sji i was the guy right at the bottom. argh! aloy i know how you feel. haha. super fun man! then was supposed to go to east coast park. wasn't able to go becoz i would return home late and all. my parents wouldn't be happy. how saddening. i missed out so much fun. on the other hand i happened to meet ann, cari and mich at the bus-stop. cari didn't want to go becoz she said she wanted to get home to study for chinese =p. ann and mich decided to go to bukit panjang plaza to meet their old secondary school classmates from wsss. since i was going the same direction too i kind of followed them. hung out with them at bukit panjang for quite awhile until mich and ann's friends arrived. girls simply love to shop till they DROP. -faints- now i realised how mad can girls be when they shop. anyway when mich and ann's friends arrived i left for home. ran home since it was raining. t38 champions of the day!

2005-10-26T23:42:00.000+08:00

school has been quite depressing this few days. -sad look- knowing that i have a high chance of not staying in cj next year since i was never good enough to advance to j2. my results really suck. everything sucks. it simply doesn't give me the mood to be happy anymore. argh. i will miss everyone. especially my fellow classmates who make the stressful life in college more enjoyable. and to all my pals i got to know in school this year. cj is where i feel home i guess with the familiar faces, voices and smiles which i see everyday. the joy of meeting new people each day. spoke to ms soh ytd after i've received the white letter which officially stated that i'm not allowed to be promoted to j2. we were talking away about my chemistry promo results like what went wrong and stuff. well we came to a conclusion that my concepts weren't that strong even though i did improve. the sad part is why didn't i improve more or scored a higher grade for midyears?! i'm sure that would probably secure me a place for taking supplementary exams. wonder why cj's promotion criteria is so strict. ijc requires just 1 Alvl pass and 1Ao pass to be promoted. i think a few other jcs like anderson also works on a 1 Alvl pass and 1 Ao pass system. that's even more lenient than cj's supplementray papers criteria. maybe it's becoz ijc's a new school. still i don't wish to be disbanded and separated from my class just like that. but i've promised them i'l be back to join them for inter-class games next year.

2005-10-23T23:22:00.000+08:00

i miss benjy! he's simply my brother =p. he's been away for camp at kluang for a few days alr. he's coming back tml. can't wait for him to come home.

2005-10-21T22:14:00.000+08:00

i've been 'working' on my pw for the past few days. like what most ppl say. pw really sucks =p. our group leader's down with fever. counting today she hasn't been in sch for 3 days alr. so elena took over as the leader. haha. i stayed up till almost 2 ytd becoz i couldn't get the piechart done and shun xie had to help me out even though she isn't from my group. credit goes to shun xie as she helped me out patiently with our group's written report. particularly the part on pie charts. i think tina sent her to check on us since she's unwell. ele went out with her princeyy. i shall publicly announce in my blog becoz there's still pw to do ele! i find that she's someone weird. waking up at a strange time like 3 in the morning to edit the written report =p. but i must say she's super efficient. i like her style and attitude towards work. never say die or give up mindset. no wonder she did pretty well for promos. congrats ele =). unlike someone here who deserves to be shot. i'm still thinking over and over again. why can't i just get myself promoted to j2? why must things turn out the way that i might lose contact with my friends in cj? why am i always faced with such anguish? thoughts just keep coming to me. sigh. i can't bear to leave cj. after getting my results i knew that i wasn't even elegible for the supplementary papers which were kind of second chances for me to clear j1 and move on to the next year in college. i'm happy that i acutally improved for all my subjects. didn't improve for gp though. but well for other subjects i did. i know it would be very silly of me to type out my lousy grades here but who cares. it's for me to reflect and think about. this time for chem i improved till i almost obtained an E. i was 1 mark away from an E. argh. maths i scored 41 compared to the 27% i had during midyears. for biology i improved the least. my biology is still my lowest subject like it has always been : (. this time for the promotional exam i had an O. and no one in my class obtained an F. omgoodness. which means i'm the lowest in class. i deserve it since i didn't put in the extra effort i ought to. here's a summary of my overall grades. bio : 33%, chem : 41%, maths : 39%. it's good that i cleared both my languages. but i mean what's the point if i can't even get an E. that sucks. argh. whenever i think about my results i feel very bad inside. i wasted one year of my life. it's definitely true and i can say from my bottom my heart that throughout my 1o years of education jc life stands out from the rest. after sch ytd followed ann, aloy, corny, ele, leslie, mich to bukit timah market to eat. yeap. ann asked me to follow and since i had nothing on i tagged along. on our way to the market i told leslie that one day i shall invite him down to bukit timah for soccer and lunch at my grandparents' place. i ordered fried carrot cake as usual. didn't intend to eat anything heavy as i had food waiting for me at home alr. i bought a plate of fried carrot cake for ele and the rest to share. hmm. come to think of it while i was having the food it very much seems like a farewell meal. anyway it was enjoyable for me to at least have a good meal with my class peeps. i had to leave early and leslie followed me to the road junction. so nice of him =D. and after i crossed the road i started mad chasing the 184 bus. thankfully i reached the bus-stop on time. after i reached home dinner was ready. had my dinner and bath. discussed other alternatives with mummy if i'm not allowed to take the supplementary papers. dota-ed my way through the night with brandon, aloy, corny and daryl. just one word. FUN. looking forward to the next class 'dota-outing.'

2005-10-19T23:52:00.000+08:00

i need to spend more time talking to all the peeps i know in cjc. spoke to glen and jiaxiang today. my buddies from ndp. happened to meet them when i was on my way to the canteen. i hate this. why must i leave cj? i can't promote and i don't wish to retain bcoz of the new syllabus. some ppl say it's easier. well for me. as long as it's arts forget it. i shall blog some other time. and maybe there's nothing more to life alr. just studies. fcuk it. 'they say the happiest times and saddest times happen during jc.' shall talk about it soon. yeap.

2005-10-13T09:37:00.000+08:00

ytd night did pretty productive things. chatted with corny to ask about him. he wasn't here in school ytd : ( that's why the class was so quiet =p. omgoodness. i was telling him that he over-exerted himself. he shouldn't have. really. my knees and ankles are going to break down too. hmm maybe i should tell myself not to over-work too. well he was asking me to dota with him. he must have had an easy time playing with me. NOOB. yes. i'm a total newbie. i suck. argh. alvls chinese will be at the end of this month. i need a pass. and promo results? i don't even want to think of it. chances are slim. sigh. i wasn't even coping well in secondary school let alone in junior college. i shall get more people to play dota! haha. was asking crazyann ytd if she wants to try out dota. after dota which i obviously LOST chatted with poo poo leslie. he can really make me laugh like shyt. had a pretty fun time chatting with him till about 1am then we had to go offline. i'l be off for pw soon. at the new central pending library. first time i'm going there! quite excited and looking forward =p.

2005-10-11T20:11:00.000+08:00

didn't qualify for captain's ball today. but what to do? aloy was playing defensive in front of the hoola-hoop then i was the only guy playing forward against 3 other guys from t31. i had to run becoz didn't want to make the girls run so much. they alr had rugby ytd. yeap. so i was doing the running and all. it was exhausting can. hmm i didn't give up despite the cramps which i had all over my body. shouldn't have played soccer ytd. yee. we only played one match today. so-oo slack =p. we're supposed to play another match. somehow the other class walked over. since it was such a slack day i went for a 35min run. ran from botanical gardens to town and back. i left without my ezlink, mobile or any cash. i didn't care if i were to collapse half way or smth. i'm so sick and useless that i have to run and run. yeap. i made in in 35 mins. running rocks! and i fell down so many times during captain's ball today : ( actually decided to go to bukit timah market to grab a bite after dismissal. but there was no one to follow me also. made my way home instead. then napped for close to one hour. i was alr starting to sleep in the bus =p. to all those who played captain's ball today you guys did well! =D

2005-10-10T23:18:00.000+08:00

i chanced upon cari's blog for a moment just now. seems like she wasn't too happy with captain's ball today. that never happens in sji i swear. my class was quite bonded. 95% i would say when it comes to games. at the end of each game everyone would be like yay! we did our best. oh ya. i remembered our class got 3rd for hockey. it was good lar. i played too. we had an arm wrestling league as well. those were the times that will never slip our minds. such things rarely happen now. quite sad actually. hmm a word of advice for her would be winning isn't everything. more importantly it's the spirit that one strives to win that counts. btw i discovered my link isn't on her blog anymore when she changed her blog layout. she's probably too lazy to re-link =p. tml would be my turn to play captain's ball. hope everything turns out fine. my body's still rather weak and aching. but i want to play well tml. yeap. hope it would be better than orienteering. the girls had touch rugby today so probably they'l be too tired to play tml as well. argh. how?! we'l see tml =D.

2005-10-10T22:16:00.000+08:00

i guess i'l be sleeping early today since i'l be playing captain's ball tomorrow. aloy and i will be the only two guys in the team. the remaining are 6 girls if i remembered correctly. he probably would be the goal keeper and most likely i would be the one running around the pitch like a mad dog. daddy fetched me to NIE as early as before 7 in the morning. after dropping me off he brought my brother to turf-city for his inter-class soccer. i wish i could be down to support him and his class. know quite a few peeps from his class. yeap. heard from him that his class won one match and drew one match. quite pro! -claps hand- i think even my brother plays better soccer than me. i'm like so paiseh =p. but my running is definitely better than him now! last time my 2.4km run used to lose to him. after training i'm sure i can beat him. haha. was down at NIE super early. met jon from sji. not the one in my class. brandon came early too. then the 3 of us had the whole basketball court for us to play. used a minature rugby ball to play basketball. quite innovative if you think of it. and of course it was much much challenging than using basketball. we tried juggling too. the juggling was mad. i could juggle at most 5 times. found myself quite tyco. the last juggle came from a header =D. i was sweating like hell. decided to take a breather and waited for my class to come. oh my goodness. jes came in a weird hair-style. i used sign-language to comment on her hair. super funny mans : ) before the girls and guys went off for touch rugby and captain's ball hui hui came and talk to me. then jes made fun of me. argh. she said i was talking to my sweet heart. i was about to strangle her lar. anyway i assembled for orienteering on the other side of the hall. remember those times when i had orienteering during my ncc days with my fellow ncc comrades. they all rock. some of them were down for orienteering today too. hmm well today. orienteering. nothing much to say either. just that i was lagging at the back for quite a distance. yeap. she was there and i was pretty scared. enjoyed listening to the music i just uploaded into my player recently by the click five. so-so only lar. and some other recent songs on perfect 10 top 10. bryan isn't online! he's supposed to send me my pictures he took at botanical gardens. nvm. i shall get it from him soon. i came back the multi purpose hall at around noon. and i played soccer. got to know a few peeps from zhu's class. he's my good friend from lower sec. right zhu? haha. he's malay but somehow he's my zhu brother! becoz he makes fun of my surname. so i gave him the nickname zhu =p. played till my headache came before i stopped. then waited for all those who played to come back and take their attendance before we are dismissed. after dismissal i went out with t39 peeps. don't really know where my class went too. anyway we had to walk quite far before we reached the bus-stop which had 190 to bring us to town. i had bk again today. yes. bk! haha. i'm developing a tummy. so fat mans. had some inter-class bonding. get to know them a little better. gabriel was from ncc too. hi 5! ncc people are cool and adventurous yea =p. jun and marcus went off to suntec leaving gabriel, the other guy [i'm so sorry i still don't know what his name is], and i made our way home. as usual i feel extremely tired. even now.

2005-10-09T19:43:00.000+08:00

boo-oo. second time i blog today. this post will be for yesterday. i was down for cjc's open house as early as 9 i think. i volunteered for the first shift bcoz it ends the earliest at 11. when i reached the gym was kinda empty. only saw less than 5 of us. our job was to usher ppl around the gym. apart from that everything was quite slack. oh my goodness. it's such a small world lar. i saw this girl from my church. but i don't know her. she's just grandma's friend's grand-daughter. yeap. i played DJ for the morning =p. i volunteerily played music from my mp3 player on those huge speakers placed outside the gym since no one else was there to control. maybe it did help to entertain the ppl visiting cj? i hope so =D! oh ya. my day had a pretty bad start as i was phone-less till evening. it dropped in daddy's car in the morning when he fetched mummy, brother and me to my grandparents' place. argh. i'm becoming more absent-minded. i'm losing my memory! grandpa was nice that day. he has always been this nice. he offered to fetch me to school. actually i'm quite a fortunate person. always having ppl to fetch me around most of the time. well i didn't take anything for granted =p. i left school at 11 plus. going to be noon soon. took 156 and i 'thought' it would bring me to kap macs. obviously it didn't. i'm so blur mans. see! this is what will happen when you'l being fetched around too often =p. i ended up dropping off at 6th avenue. i stood at the bus-stop for awhile. then decided. aiyah just make my way back to grandparents' place running in the rain. and i did. thankfully i didn't fall ill this morning. i did smth really bhb. when i reached to the other side of the road after crossing a few traffic lights i kinda took off my cj pe shirt off and then started to run in the rain alongside the road. the feeling was so super chilly! -shivers- at the same time ppl were like staring at me and probably what's going through their mind would be why the heck is this mad guy running without his shirt in the rain. but who cares la. what's so nice to look lor. i took less than 13 minutes to reach home. exhausting but contented with it. then later on in the afternoon was spent going out with my grandparents, aunty, mummy and brother. but brother and me ps them and went off to soccer at the nearby street soccer court. played till 4 plus. then met up with the rest at the shopping mall. brought all the stuffs to grandpa's car. yeap. went home after that. with me staying at my grandparents' house. grandpa had to attend a dinner for don't know what celebration since he's the vice-chairman of the RC commitee in his estate. i'm all alone by myself at home. well i kept myself occupied with stuffs. like i re-wired the speaker system. now it's superbly superb. i felt quite guilty lar. there was a funeral going on just a few houses down the road and i was blasting the speakers and dancing like mad. but don't think the people can hear me. so it's still alright =p. waited for grandma to come home from church. -impatient- anyway she whipped up a meal for herself and asked if i was hungry. i said YES! i was really damn hungry lar after fixing all the wirings. it took me more than 1 hour. we had mee-sua together and i chatted away with grandma. not long later grandpa came back and both my grandparents started talking so i went to the com room. played some nice songs for them to relax and enjoy. songs like 'if you get there before i do' by collin raye. they love it mans =D! so do it. received an sms from joy at 2345 saying that she has a new no. she's been without a line since a few months back. wonder how she survived without a hp lar. she will be taking olvls soon. in a couple of weeks. all the best joy!

2005-10-09T16:37:00.000+08:00

my arms are aching as i'm blogging now. my body. my legs too. i think i over-trained the past few days. inter-class games will be starting tml. but i'm only in captain's ball on tuesday. hmm. so probably tml i would have to attend the orienteering walk or smth. sian-ness. now i have to back-blog. missed out quite alot of stuffs for the past few days. yeap. on friday the minister for education actually came down to our school for a visit. so cool. first time i've seen him in real person. he was touring around the school and happened to pop by the gym to have a look. we didn't really do much. the student councils, principal and all were there to show him around. i reached school at around 930. i was stucked. yes. practically stucked outside the back-gate. i went like oh my gosh. how am i supposed to get in? i can't possibly walk to the other main-gate. that's like so far. the only way was simply climbing over the gate. it was super tough can. first i had to get my HUGE bag over the gate first. then the maintenace ppl were standing around. one man came to assist me. xie xie ni! bcoz i needed some form of support for my leg. the fence on the gate's so sharp. anyway i got into school safe and sound. waited for jun to arrive. since it was still relatively early we went for running again. this time we tried a different route. yay :) my long distance is improving! he said he's better in mid-long. haha. he just didn't want to admit defeat lor. i do TRAIN okay. most of our runs go beyond the 30 minute mark. so stamina here is vital. he said my speed was quite inconsistent when he watched how i ran from the back. sometimes speed up pace sometimes maintain. i feel like speeding up then speed up lor. haha. i got no fixed way of running. after the minister left. we left too! jun and i were supposed to go have lunch in town but i kept saying i'm BROKE. then we ended up eating nothing. i followed him around looking for a pair of ankle weights. in the end he got the adidas one. super brand conscious lar he =p. we also went around checking some other stuffs. and we saw a 10/10 girl from sajc at the adidas store at heeren. really beautiful and cute. after leaving heeren we were all tired from all the walking alr so went straight home. a day well-spent =D.

2005-10-06T22:34:00.000+08:00

another tiring day for me. after exams just let it all out! run and run. yeah. running rocks =D. NE test today went very bad. i haven't been touching the newspapers for ages. exams and all going on for the past few weeks. i can't be bothered to even browse through the newspapers. how bad can that be. i don't know what's happening around me! i'm a blurhead. i can say more than 70% of the questions i had doubts. anyway after NE test went for fitness club briefing than jun and i proceeded to run. we had a hard time finding people to help us take care of our bags. in the end i suggested that we keep them in the office. it's pretty safe there i guess. again! the sun drove me nuts. i was running with my strained legs. and they definitely are jun! don't say i'm faking. i'm not okayy. running was complete madness. 35 mins! oh my goodness. jun wasn't feeling well. hmm. vommitted at the 32nd min. aiyo. push himself till like that. but still he's a much better runner than me. he was from x-country. 4 years of training. and i'm like a super weak shyt with poor stamina and all. but nonetheless we always go running when we have the time. marcus waited for us 'patiently' in school =p. btw i got to know marcus through jun. somehow i find that even though they are from a totally different class from me i'm still close to them. got to know marcus just a few weeks ago. hmm. he can be quite a great friend. jun's my good friend too. i'm thankful god gave me such wonderful pals. it's saddening. i'm not even close to any guy in my class. it's the not so close feeling i suppose. hmm. aloy's perfectly fine. daryl's perfectly fine too. leslie used to be really close to me. but somehow we're not so close now. is it because of the seating arrangement our teacher changed a few months ago? i really don't know. unlikely. everything in class seems to be in a mess after god knows when. even though now some things are clearer i still don't know how to react to certain situations. -nobody knows what is it to be like that- there's alot more i need to learn in life. especially when you're being dealt with a situation. what should you do then it's considered appropiate? can you tell if something goes wrong? i'm so lost when it comes to such rhetorical questions. they seemingly turn my mind upside down. i hope for a better school life. or just rid me of the pressure i face in school when i meet people. they will never realise when one truly cares and shows concern. there will be many activities coming up. inter-class games. retreat. and a nyaa trip to mawai as well. time to relex and enjoy. but i don't deserve to relax as much as those we mugged their heads off for promos. i'm still as slack as ever even when it comes to exams. i'm quite useless actually. minister for education will be coming down to cj tml. i shall complain to him how sucky jc is. i sound like such a complain king. bet i wouldn't have the guts to do so. but everyone would argee it sucks right? it does! studying just drives people nuts. and it's so not unhealthy and lifeless to study and study your life away. i pity those muggers out there. bleah =p.

2005-10-05T23:49:00.000+08:00

weixin agreed that my blog's kinda plain. i find it quite dull too. maybe i shall include some pictures. but that would be later on. i'm so lazy now. my mood has been pretty slack since there are no more exams till next year. was chatting with joy over msn yesterday. i'm like really happy for her that the history notes i gave her for to stduy for her prelims are super effective. omg! she scored an a1! she was thanking me like mad ytd. =D. you're welcome. i should consider passing my notes to her. it was damn coincidental. if i remembered correctly it's sometime before my promos i happened to be online during an afternoon since i came back early that day. then joy was online too. i asked how was her revision going and all. she said she had history tml. she needed notes badly. i somehow got the notes to her on time though the next day was her paper. well when i was in sec 4 i still failed my history despite having all those notes. probably bcoz i have no interest in history at all. she scored 4As. just that she needs to brush up on her maths and she'l be perfectly fine. yeap. interest is important especially if you wish to do well in studies. i lack the interest =p. oh my goodness. there's school tml. NE quiz. after that i still have to stay back for a cca briefing. i'm occupied with cca matters from thursday to saturday. i'm so deprived of my free time! -protest- anyway the minister for education is coming to open cj's gym i heard. that's why i need to be down on friday. to like show him ard or something? they better not call me =p. i don't want! ytd when i was coming back from aloy's house. hmm. i shall blog about what i did ytd first. woke up at ard 8. slightly before 8 to prepare to go down to serangoon. a place i'm so not familiar with. our class guys were there for soccer. the sun was perpetually draining away my energy. after quite sometime i had a slight headache. that's what happens to me when i'm under the sun for too long. the last match we had [darcy was in. he came damn late!] was quite a well-played one. darcy, corny and me. the three of us. TRIO. we scored a beautiful goal each. three cheers! we hit the match point and left for aloy's house to slack. i dare say his house is a food heaven mans. the food his mummy prepared for us during tea-break was yummy! so-oo delicious. too bad cari wasn't here. or not. she will. god knows what. i left aloy's house at close to 5 bcoz i needed to rush home. it takes more than 1 1/2 hours just for me to reach home. sian. listening to my mp3 player throughout the entire bus journey. this is life. enjoy it. loves. well some songs like immortal by evanescence is such a sad song. it makes my mind rake up all the past grievances which occured to me this year. which has been the saddest year of my life i suppose? on the other hand there are happy memories to relish too. well the memories all don't hold anymore. -sad look- i'm better off to bed now =D.

2005-10-05T19:50:00.000+08:00

my thighs still hurt! from the running i had two days ago and soccer ytd. i was quite surprised actually that i could still run for 1/2 an hour despite not running for so long. but somehow the left side of my chest felt quite pain. but who cares la. i just continued running and running till 30 mins past. in a way it helped me to de-stress and let go of all the not so good things. i wouldn't say unhappy things but things that can be better. especially school work. the pressure i face in school. it's never ending okayy. =p. and everything that drives me crazy. EXAMS! i think i don't have a very secured place in j2 next year. oh well. it's no use complaining a-yee i never studied hard enough. haha. but i didn't la. if i can't even cope with j1. i can't imagine what alvls would be like. haha. it would be totally impossible for me. maybe i'l see the paper and just collpase. =p. too much stress! my brains wil be cooked in no time. personally i like studying passively. i hate it so much when i have to memorise stuffs. bcoz i simply can't. haha. even if i could i would only remember like 1% of what i memorised. it's that bad la. for once i have the time to put work aside and have more time for my thoughts. just now right. mummy and i had a quite a bad tiff. well people at this adolescent age can be rebellious. i'm no exception. sigh. haha. anyway i shan't say what happened. so when daddy came back from work he reminded me again. he always does. that i shouldn't be rude and must give mummy more respect. i know i need to treat mummy better. but at times you just get so flustered up with certain things. especially when both our views and thinking on things are totally different. she can be naggy not everytime though. and i can be short tempered too. i admit we do argue occasionally. but eventually it would be like how it's like after a stormy day. beautiful rainbow! bright sky! fresh air! a new atmosphere. it's part and parcel of life that i can't run away from. like a cycle it repeats and goes on. well of course mummy and i share more happy times than angry times. i appreciate every little thing she does. i probably won't tell her but i'm thankful for the many good things she has done. <3

2005-10-04T08:11:00.000+08:00

yay! i'm going off to meet daryl in school soon. then we'l go to serangoon to meet aloy, leslie, corny for soccer. forget about my all-tired legs from the LONG run i had ytd. i'm still going. corny says mustn't PS. haha. yeap. shall blog when i come home. byeee!

2005-10-03T19:32:00.000+08:00

my exams officially end today! yeap. hoo-ray. on the other hand. sigh. i hope there's a chance for me to promote even though everything's last minute work and the TRUTH is i was never fully prepared for any paper i took. the worst part is i never get to finish a single paper i took on time. that's how it goes in jc. bad ain't it? anyway good luck to all my other friends elsewhere and including those in cjc yea! ending exams earlier doesn't mean anything too. ultimately what matters most is still the grades. come to think of it this time's promotional exam was pretty much a big screw up i guess. but since i have that little time now to relax before the results are out. i should! haha. here am i blogging. the past few days was filled with immense pressure and stress! total anxiety mans =p. i was panicking and all what if i can't finish studying on time and stuff like that. true enough i didn't finish studying at all. it's like all the odds are against you when you come unprepared. i'm such a sad case can. maybe that's the reason why i don't blog about how my papers go. i suck! yeap. i suck in everything! other people can say how well their papers have gone. i would be telling myself. 'no comments.' since when i ever passed anything in a jc? i would love to. but i always don't. did i not work hard enough? am i slow in learning? or i'm just plain stupid? i think i'm all three. doesn't God want us to have an easy way out for things? hmm. in reality nothing comes easily. be it results or even for a relationship to work well. the world i'm living in. the world i'm looking forward to is filled with just so much uncertainities and desparities. sometimes i even don't know if i have taken the correct and appropiate step forward in life. from what i am today. probably not yea. i've never achieved anything. oh well. a soul dying in the unfamiliar world if i should call it. after i said so much i just wish to PROMOTE! and get a brand new life!

2005-09-23T20:27:00.000+08:00

gp sucks big time. i want to pass. nono. i MUST pass if not i'm screwed. i have two days to finish everything on bio. that's what last minute studying does to you.

2005-09-22T21:17:00.000+08:00

kinda stayed back in sch after bio lect. then was supposed to do maths with cari and sarah outside the library. but i didn't do much either. i'm such a slacker la =p. we chatted for quite abit and both of them did do some maths too. haha. it wasn't productive. talked more instead. good luck to everyone for gp tml. i need a pass! -out-

2005-09-20T16:28:00.000+08:00

i just got home. -faints- today i came home myself. it was bad. i hate coming home myself. plus after having a short maths consultation in class brandon suggested that we exercise AGAIN. aiyah. he's just mad. arm-wrestling bizarre is back to our class! wah wah. alot of potential arm-wrestlers i can see. ppl like brandon, corny, aloy. i want my left hand title! haha. bio and eng lect was spent talking to aloy. thanks aloy for starting the arm-wrestling trend. he was like so random. when we went back to class after maths lect he shouted out to me. 'hey chris. wanna arm-wrestle me?' i went like set! haha. wah lao. aloy's damn pro can. after that corny, brandon joined in too. i simply love it. oohlalah. arm-wrestling rocks! daryl and i were trying to sing the latin song ubi caritas. haha. maybe we should get hui si to sing for us ya. i bet it would sound great and much better =D! there's a new catch phrase for our class. ask daryl for more details. haha. it goes YOU'RE A _ _ _ _ _ _ ! that's the way larh.

2005-09-20T01:35:00.000+08:00

today started off with maths. omg. yeapp. MATHS. ms lee went through MI today. MI isn't that bad after all. it's easier for me compared to all the other topics like trigonometry. just by looking at the questions. it can kill me! i still have no idea how to get through my promos. i need a miracle =p. the only time when i did quite abit of serious studying was during olvls. why can't i do the same for promos? God save me! there was no PE today. so we kinda had two free periods. went to the back of class. talked to shun xie and company. which included hui hui, jia hui, tina, sarah and all. they're relatively easy to talk to. haha. can joke around those type. yeapp. fun talking to them mans =p. tina and i were discussing in class on getting promoted. we came to a conclusion that we need to get at least D for our alvl subjects in order to get to j2. that's like so super impossible for me. madness! i kept telling myself just give it all up larh! heh. that shouldn't be the way. come to think of it i'm starting to feel quite panicky alr. argh! it sucks. i've officially finished studying photosynthesis. bleah =p. that's nothing. i guess there are ppl who have finished revising a few times. i'm lagging. i know i am. shun xie's supposed to bring me 3350 tml. haha. it's a super old model of nokia. i'm updating my blog for aloy to read =p. haha. aloy's the best HTC in cjc. i'm mad. haha. when sch ended i slacked around in the canteen to wait for daddy. saw wuyuan and yimin. sat down and chatted with them while waiting for daddy. haha. then we went to do pull-ups. she's madness larh! my arms were alr weak. bleah. luckily i could do like 9. or else she'l be laughing at me. haha. oh. and before going to the canteen brandon and i were training at the fitness corner. haha. he has officially become my training partner! i did 23 pull-ups in all today. why am i so weak? need to train harder after promos! yeapp. healthy lifestyle all the way =D.

2005-09-18T13:14:00.000+08:00

i had nosebleed in church today. my eyecandy's too sweet-looking alr. i don't mind bleeding for my eyecandy. haha. but cannot be. i had nosebleed before she even entered the church to sit with the choir. i'm still angelic. bleah =p. i go to church and worship not girl-hunting. that sounded pretty fake. then again she's but just an eyecandy. seriously nothing much. i don't even know her name. how bad is that. haha. SIAN! sch tomorrow :(. was reading y.z's blog a moment ago. it sounded abit not right and weird. pjc's a convenient and accessible place for me. oh well i'm in cjc now. good and bad i guess. -off- to do work.

2005-09-17T23:55:00.000+08:00

i'm happy for once this week =p. i shall type a longer entry this time. blogspot is always down whenever i want blog. anyway mummy, brother and i went down to my grandparents' house damn early in the morning before 7. daddy fetched us there early because he had to rush down for work. took a short nap before i got down to studying evolution. i didn't even manage to pass the recent bio test. i don't look forward to sch now as much as i used to in the past. sch seriously doesn't rock as much as it did. sometimes i don't even feel like attending sch. bleah. on the other hand the last day of sch this wk was quite alright. yeapp. quite only. pe was bascially jus deciding on who to put in which game for inter-class after promos. since i didn't have any opinion jus ask them shui bian put me in any game would be fine with me. our class guys didn't get the chance to play rugby simply because we didn't have enough ppl. how sad is tat. rugby's such a FUN sport =p. though kinda dangerous. but still it's a challenging sport tat i've always wanted to take part in. been eons since i touched a rubgy ball mans. during recess ytd brandon was asking me if i wanted to join him for push-ups or anything. madnees! i suggested why not let's go to the fitness corner and try out some pull-ups. he agreed. haha. then on our way down to the canteen. met shunxie and tina. since they had nothing much to do they came to support us doing pull-ups. so cool! haha. i made a pact with tina that if i could do more than 10 she needs to write me TEN testimonials. so far she has only paid back one even though i made it. haha. anyway it's really sweet of them to come support us. after recess there was bio lect. bio lect's rubbish. pure crapping with aloy. but i admit he's seriously a nice person to talk to. then chinese all the way till sch ends. stayed back in class for quite abit to do 'work'. did nothing much actually. my fate is sealed. i can't concentrate and that's it for my promos. too much things have happened lately. not only in school. i wish there could be an alternative way out for my plight. am i asking for too much? i jus need a proper mood and life to study well. i think that is what i lack the most now. regarding today. brother and i left grandparents' house to scout for a suitable place where we could play soccer. and we've discovered this place. in fact the place has already been there like many years. it's the grass patch opposite bukit timah market. quite convenient for us to get drinks after playing too. too bad none of us brought money along ytd. argh! we were thirsting like mad considering the HEAT from the sun. there were a group of people. slightly more than 10 ppl i think. 3 girls and the rest were made up of guys. there were there to play soccer too. since it was the first time seeing them we didn't really join them. maybe next time we will. the more ppl the more fun =p. before making our way home. brother and i played under the fly-over. underground soccer madness! everyone should try it. it rocked so much! it would be much better if the ground wasn't so rough. slacked at my grandparents' place till about 4 plus and my cousins came over. 3 of them. yeap. they came over to join grandpa, grandma and me for the lantern festival dinner for the mayfair estate at night. the food was yummilicious! plus other lotsa fun stuffs. i got to know a few peeps too. there's too much food and it would take a long time for me to blog it all out. haha. as usual my days don't really end off well. a friend of mine hurt herself. i can never comprehend why people out there always resort to inflicting pain on themselves. well i should be asking myself that. just like sometimes i don't understand why things have to turn out the way they are. are they meant to be? or they're just out there to make me feel more lost and confused. to that friend of mine. hmm. hope things will better for her. and hope she can get over everything quickly. oh ya. she was from the same sch as mummy. st anthony's canossian. mummy's sch =D! sometime this week i did a good deed! yeap. i spend my afternoon free time scanning my history notes for someone from bpgvh. maybe it's because it's for -someone- =p. i doubt she'l have the time to visit my blog since she will be having her olvls soon. she better not forget we have to go celebrate and chill after her olvls. can't wait for exams to be over! i need a break from everything after exams. life is so not worthy this days. especially when you're not doing too good and at the same time the exams are coming. it's double impact okayy =p.

2005-09-11T00:52:00.000+08:00

was chatting with cari on msn jus now. then there was this old primary sch classmate of mine. she suddenly msg-ed me online 'wo xiang ni'. i didn't even know how to react. i felt like quite weird initially since we didn't talk for like how many years alr. so i chatted with her quite abit before she left. i kinda asked cari. OMG. what should i do mans?! hahah. then she told me. maybe you could ask how she's doing. i asked her that then when she replied the feeling was quite funny. i said 'i miss you!' hahah. =p. talked to jun on the phone for a couple of minutes before i came online. omgoodness. he saw -someone- at suntec with a guy ytd. that's like. i don't know how should i put it. i'm sad-ed again! hahah. i was jus crapping. pardon me. i need to keep my entries short bcoz i'm racing against time. i should force myself to finish reading up on organic chem. which is really unlike the slack me. i think i'l jus screw up my whole promos. how great is it to be in a jc! -sacarstic look- xD. i feel so DUMB in a jc. everything's out to make me feel lost.

2005-09-08T16:04:00.000+08:00

woohoo! my cousins came down to my place! surpise. =p. -loves- no work done for me in the entire afternoon. how bad! :(

2005-09-04T23:34:00.000+08:00

my blog is dead. so am i. i'm literally dying... -so stressed and sadded-

2005-08-21T16:12:00.000+08:00

omgoodness. it's been one week since my last entry. bad bad. studies and school work obviously sucks big time! throughout the course of this week i had a chem test on friday. i was quite :) bcoz there were only a few questions i couldn't do. but i did attempt them. the happiness didn't really last. i had less than 3 hours of slp from the previous night as i made an effort to read through my chem notes. that's so unlike me. =p. i have not touched maths for donkey years. i'm so gonna fail that subject. time always crawls during maths lessons. aft maths on friday there was PE. didn't have the mood to do PE due to lack of sleep. whenever i don't get enough sleep i usually don't have a good mood. well that's me! aiyah. when you feel tired you just don't have the motivation for anything. i think i played pretty badly for PE. was playing modified netball. after PE i was super shag and my perspiration was dripping all over. i quickly rushed to the canteen to get myself a drink as i was freaking thirsty. as i was quening up at the fruit juice stall for like 5 minutes. a group of around 4-5 ppl if i remembered correctly just barged into the quene like nobody's business. i wanted to tell them off initially. but elena told me just let them be the way they are. so i had to fcuking wait for them to finish what they were buying when i needed a drink badly. some ppl just don't know what is courtesy. they don't care about the ppl around them. i guess such self-centred ppl. bleah. i won't say much. they know it best themselves. so what if they're thirsty after PE?! as if i'm not like that. i guess it did worsen the mood for that day. i was kinda pissed with them. by today i think i don't feel as pissed alr. went for gym with leslie and jun. i cycled 10km one shot and cleared it in 13 minutes. i felt that i just need to let everything out. all the shyt i've been going through. all the thoughts and feelings i have in my mind. the cycling didn't help much i suppose. sigh. why must life be fair to others and unfair to some? went off to town with leslie to meet the class to buy elena's bday present. i kept telling him i would be an extra if i were to go but we still ended up going there together. i don't wish to leave him in the lurch and let him go there all by himself. at least if i followed he would have someone to talk to along the way. but i think most of the time while we were walking i kept telling him stuffs and whining to him. sorry leslie-poo! i sounded really naggy and long-winded right? =p. but leslie definitely makes a good listening ear. i left the peeps at about 5.30 to return to school. bcoz daddy told me he would be picking me up from sch. i have the best daddy! he picks me up from school whenever he can. anyway take bus home oso can get quite sian. hahah. in town heard mich telling leslie that i was angry with her bcoz she said i couldn't sit in the inside seat. well i wasn't. my mood was just bad that day. that evening i did type her a friendster msg too. =D. some things which are going on makes me feel so pressurized when i attend school. sigh. it's alright. we're a happy group of ppl together. we spend time cracking all sorts of jokes. hahah. and talking about practically anything under the sun. we rock! we rule! i only got to know that elena was having a surprise party on her actual bday itself. mich was asking me if i was going. and i was like. huh? she actually had a bday party? hahah. then she told me it's a surprise party her bf organised. it's so cool larh! played badminton and soccer for the entire morning with bro and went out in the afternoon. grandpa dropped me at sunset way and that was where i met daryl. went to his house to hang out and slack for the moment. okayy. i shall stop here. will continue if i can find time tonight. -off to work-

2005-08-14T14:31:00.000+08:00

latest news! michy is a dao kia! bleah. =p. hahah. god knows why. played yahoo pool on friday night till i fell asleep right in front of my com. met this person in a game. since i was using the class yahoo account cjc_t38 she kept asking if i knew so and so from cjc. she seems to know quite alot of peeps in my school. anyway after she went offline my other friend came online. we played yahoo pool till about 12 plus. by then i was dozing off in front of my com alr. gp mock that day went quite badly. i was rushing against time again! i'l probably not pass. :(. saturaday morning was full of blast. soccer with brother for a few hours. that's tiring enough. after soccer came back to grandparents' house and went online for awhile. didn't want to stay online for long. since klara junior from my primary school started chatting with me i chatted with her for quite sometime. she's cousin's senior in his secondary school too larh. she was talking about the gal my cousin likes. i shall suan cousin when i see him. =p. hahah. the gal is really super talented. i saw her appeared in tee-vee before. on the channel 8 show at 9 on saturday. she has both looks and brains no wonder cousin is attracted to her! omgoodness. he'l suan me back when he gets a gf before i do. whatever larh. it was quite a fat day too. i drank two cans of coke! i can't believe it. i usually don't touch fizzy drinks. there's super alot of sugar content. sigh. i was just too thirsty after soccer. couldn't help it. =p. plus at night i ate one huge creamy piece of cake which i found in the fridge. hahah. argh! i need to control myself. in the afternoon grandpa, grandma, mummy, aunty, bro and me went to IMM to jalan jalan. guess what?! taufik and sly was there to sign autographs. i wonder why people are so crazy over them. they do crazy stuffs like i can't describe larh. rgs was there to do charity work too. selling balloons to raise funds. i thought i could see jolene junior there. i looked around but still couldn't really find her. saddening! hahah. we kinda rushed off IMM bcoz grandpa was saying that he wanted to see me appear on tee-vee when i performed during ndp. sad sad. the ndp encore version was different from the live version on the actual day. i couldn't even really see myself inside. sigh. before returning home to my grandparents' place we dropped by aunty's place to get bubble tea. yummilicious bubble tea! i simply love it. =). i got the green apple and strawberry flavour. greedy me! the strawberry flavour really made me think of *you* all of a sudden. i know you would never ever visit my blog bcoz we have nothing to do with each other anymore since god knows when. i still remember those times when we could still go out. you brought strawberry flavoured bubble tea from the shop at taka. and we shared it together. i'm such a failure. i couldn't give you what you wanted. sigh. those good memories can never be brought to life again. even if they could it would be a long long time. chances are i'm out of your existing life for good. when i realised you deleted me from friendster a few weeks back i took the hint that you've erased me from your entire life. i cannot bring myself to visit your blog. whenever i do. i will never be alright. we had fond memories of the blog. remember? during march holidays you wanted to set up a blog when you went back to nz. for now i suppose everything goes to your special him. i'm no longer special to you. whether you're special to me it doesn't matter to you anyway. but i do think of you at times. and most of the time i get so lost. lost in an uncompassionate and unforgiving world without you. it's been about 3 months since we last saw each other. life still continues. it's a journey we must keep going. from the time i knew you till the day we part. even though all the time we knew each other we did not get into a relationship i can say we're closer than some of the couples that you see ard us. so much for our sad ending. it's a sin if we pretend that we don't recognise each other if we see each other on the streets. i don't know. i'm really lost again. i don't know what to expect next. i love strawberry bubble tea the most!

2005-08-12T20:20:00.000+08:00

i still have loads of work untouched. but since it's a friday. hooray! the weekends are approaching. i shall type a little entry here. today was damn tiring for me. i slept at like 2.30am yesterday! it's an extremely bad habit that i have. seriously need to kick that habit. most of the time in school today i was like using my reserved energy to keep myself awake. but it doesn't really seem to work. sigh. i hate it when i get insufficient sleep. bcoz i won't have any mood for anything. my morning went kinda gloomy. when i reached school i went to the study area near grandstand to do my chem. suddenly remember ms soh saying that we need to complete till ques 3. did and did till mich and ann walked past and they came over to where i was sitting. went up with them to our class. then i continued doing my chem till it was time for assembly. it was such a pain. completing work last minute. but at least i managed to finish two ques. then doing chem tutorial i actually volunteered to do a ques on the board. most likely bcoz i wanted to know if what i did was correctly presented. after chem was maths tutorial. oh my goodness. i failed my maths test again. -big sigh- why am i so stupid?! other ppl are getting 30+ and i only got a miserable 24. well ms lee pasted a sticker on my test paper. maybe it serves as a form of encouragement for me to work harder? yeap. sometimes the feeling of throwing in the cards and giving up gets so strong that i wish i could just escape from reality. facing reality and going through all the shyt i'm facing. be it school work or other crappy stuffs. it simply sucks like shyt! my mindset towards studying has always been so bad that i can't be bothered to put in the effort that i need to. work aside first. i can't stand the insumountable stress piling on my back. one fine day i'l just explode and burst like a balloon. today's PE was quite slack. didn't do much except for netball. i played really badly. sorry team! when our class went for warm-up run i was at the grandstand chatting with hazel. obviously she's quite pissed with someone. sigh. why is there so much sadness going on in the world? is there such a thing as eternal happiness? i doubt so. all i wish is to lead a fulfilling life. a life that is worthwhile for me to look forward to. ppl around me definitely makes my life a better one. they're wonderful ppl who can bring joy into my life. ultimately happiness lies in my own hands. and of course i would want to remain happy for as long as i can. looking back when we first met. things went pretty smooothly and well. it just takes something. something to... it's been quite sometime alr. i shall not let it affect me. just that when my mind wanders away i think deeply. i constantly tell myself i must be strong and hold on firmly to hope. a hope which will never fails to give me a bright future. i mustn't be dumb. i must face the real world with audacity! during chinese lesson today it was fun and fun and fun! lao shi played tong hua and since that's the only chinese song i could sing i sang along! elena and mich joined in too. seems like we were the only three singing. hahah. enjoyed it so much. i wish we could learn to sing a new chinese song every lesson. but that would never happen right? -ponders- in the afternoon gp mock was on. so we had to stay back till 5 plus. after that elena said she left her hp in class. aloy had the keys and elena asked me to tag along. hahah. scared aloy take advantage of you is it?! =p. oh ya. and along the way i must say that sick little elena has gone insane! i think i'm insane too! hahah. time to sleep. -yawns-

2005-08-09T09:20:00.000+08:00

i finally have time to blog again since it's national day! well i only have to report to school at two. actually it's still early now. yesterday we kinda had a mini class outing. most of the ppl couldn't come along. so it's less than ten of us. aloy, cari, corny, elena, jolle, les, weixin and mich! saddening! anyway after sch was dismissed we took a bus to queensway and another bus to harbour front. god knows what we did in the bus. hahah. the man sitting near us. he looked quite shocked. his expression was like. WAT THE. i can't believe i had lunch at subway! it's so ex- larh. maybe bcoz i've very little money in my wallet yesterday. =p. yummy! so long since i ate there. hahah. along the way i kept teasing and making fun of cari. even when we were having our MEAL. yeapp. MEAL. i was still making fun of her. of course at the same time everyone was like having free entertainment bcoz i was joking ard practically throughout when we were having lunch. cari better thank god for giving her such wonderful ppl as her classmates. =p. i couldn't believe that she ate the slowest larh. the rate i'm eating was alr damn slow. and yeah. i don't have a huge appetite. then at ard 12 plus we walked to the bus-interchange and boarded the bus to sentosa! yay! i miss sentosa alot. and it's the second time i've been there since the start of this year. how saddening! after we settled down at siloso beach. guess what?! elena was the first one who got dunked in the sea! hahah. that evil little thing always says i'm dirty-minded. =p. not true not true at all! it was a whole afternoon at sentosa. we played soccer as a class! definitely one of the most fun stuffs we did at sentosa. cari and i kept colliding into each other during soccer. i remembered once she crashed into me from the back and i kinda fell. so mean. hahah. obviously she fell too. it's a BAD sign. hahah. anyway i did help her up most of the time so she can't say i'm not a gentleman. =p. like she said it's just a game lorh. what's important is that everyone enjoys. we rested and slcked around the beach after soccer. later in the afternoon. aloy, corny, les and me played soccer with another 4 malay guys. yay! i was :) bcoz i scored the first goal against them. but it was quite tyco i must say. i kinda drove past the goal keeper. playing and running around the sand makes my legs feel so numb. i realised i'm very weak lorh. played a little while yet so exhausting. but had hell lot of fun. so i guess it makes up for all the tiredness. i was dumb larh. went into the sea and tried to swim ended up getting all the cuts. especially the one on my finger. those on my legs weren't that bad. oh my goodness. aloy cut his knee too. poor him. corny got injured too i think. bad bad. next time when we go there everyone really need to take extra care. mich kana bruise on her leg. poor thing lorh. then her toe don't know got what she was saying quite painful oso. sigh. gals are fragile ppl. hahah. they really are! my back hurts now. i'm sunburnt! argh. hate it larh. but who cares?! i have a nice tan colour now. =p. i left my class peeps at around 4.30 bcoz i needed to go down for the parade at sji. there i had alot of fun joking around with my peers too. met aravin, kenneth, and many many other familiar faces. aravin is a bloody joker larh. hahah. he said to me. once a fcuker, always a fcuker. i was like WAT THE. anyhow say me. last time i used to be stronger than him but he's a freaking shot-putter now. how the heck in the world can i win him in arm-wrestling? impossible! he's 30 kg heavier than me. omgoodness. ppl still actually do recognise me for who i am. yeapp. it's a good thing. we're all still really good friends. talked and joked around the way we used to. i got a hug from shawn junior. he's very shuai now lorh. all the gals must be after him. =p. saw eric senior too! all in all it's a whole big gathering that i enjoyed very much. spent time eating the catered food with mummy and daddy as we waited for brother to be dismissed. after that we all headed back for home. despite feeling worn-out and drained i still wrote testimonials for the ppl who made my afternoon at sentosa so exciting and wonderful. thanks to all who made my day! cheers. =D. love you guys!

2005-07-29T22:40:00.000+08:00

of all moments i'm falling sick now! it's so irritating. well i still have to go down for ndp preview show tml morning at 10.30. it simply sucks! and maybe i'l not be performing bcoz my knees are still not that alright. see how everything goes tml. past few days i've been going for running. yeap. just ran from cjc to acs (b) on wed and today. my legs feel so tired now. anyway life's a tiring and ardous journey that i'm so sick of everything. ytd night i had to stay up till 2am just to complete my bio assignment. and i don't think i'l can pass it. so in a way it'l still be a waste of my effort. sigh. i hate to be sick! and why can't the ppl-in-charge of ndp at least give us tickets for ndp?! i've been BEGGING them for tickets but they don't seem to care at all. i spent time rehearsing and performing for so many past weeks and they don't even wish to give us tickets. i'm going to give them a sia lan attitude tml. since they don't care i won't give a damn either. i realised the ppl ard me in class are working so hard! really hard. and i only feel dumber and dumber each day. omg. i better finish try and finish up my bio tutorial by today. i'l be busy like anything. there's funfair in church this sunday. i'm looking forward to it! i haven't even flipped through the questions. hahah. that's like so slack. my whole saturday will be RUINED by ndp again. thankfully i just got myself a mp3 player. or else i'l be bored to bits tml. it's quite a good deal for a 20gb zen touch though this model's been around for quite some time. but i'm not that choosy. anything goes. PE sucks today. a group of us was kinda late and we had to be punished by doing push-ups. damn sway. and i didn't know why i did one-arm push-ups either. perhaps i've too much adrenaline. =p. anyway any ordinary person can do it yeah. it's not that difficult after all. i should be getting down with work now. -big sigh-

2005-07-25T18:38:00.000+08:00

yay! =). i'm blogging again. it's becoming less and less frequent since i last blogged. nonetheless i have so much to blog. but i've simply NO time. argh. i've been so so busy with school and ndp shows. ndp is both a physical and mental torture! i can't wait for it to be over. see. there's another ndp preview show coming up this saturday. i really dread it. oh my gosh. i kinda injured my knee while playing captain's ball after PE. don't know if i will be able to make it for the ndp show this saturday. hopefully my legs. yeap. both legs feel better. =p. i'm not wearing long pants to school until my legs recover. it's like so troublesome having wounded knees and wearing long pants. i don't even know how i got a cut on my nose when i fell. i was in such a blurry state. lied on the ground for quite abit before i went to the toilet to wash up the blood and all. yuck! so gross. i hate to get wounded. anyway who likes?! hmm. last saturday ptm was more on the bad side. probably bcoz my results suck like shyt. i only passed one subject. just imagine how dumb can i be. only ONE subject. actually i find my gp which i passed quite a fluke oso. i haven't been doing exactly well for gp. the essays i did before my midyr gp were like 20/50 at most. quite happy that i scored 27/50 this time round. hahah. the stuffs on mass media i memorised at the last minute did help abit. apart from gp my parents were totally angry with my results. what to do? never study hard enough that's why results turn out like that. if i studied dutifully and i still get 4 Fs i can ask myself to go and die. personally i feel that i'm very struggling alot now with all the new stuffs and work i'm facing in school everyday. i wish i could take a little moment out from my hateful life and escape from reality. everytime i think of doing so there's just so much work piling on my back. sometimes i just sit there staring blankly into space. i'm really at my wit's end! studies aside. =). last saturday was the last time i would have seen my ex-classmate as he will be leaving overseas to further his studies. i kinda 'zhao' from the ndp thing at 1 plus to meet quite a few of my ex-classmates at far-east. includes clifton, damien, ziwei, jee yuen, wu yuan, ashley, titus, pik yang, patrick and of course eugene! what a coincidence. i called up clifton and he happened to be around far-east too. i got him to meet up with us. and true enough i've been missing him alot!! finally get to go out with him. hahah. we had a pretty fun time talking and walking around. 404 rocks! after slacking and chatting at far-east basement we walked to meridien but somehow we didn't end up playing pool or LAN. went to paradiz. shared drinks. the highlight was playing arm-wrestling at the macs there. oh my god. clifton grew #%^$^& times stronger. he has got himself a really cool handphone. i'm jealous. =p. jee yuen and me couldn't even win him! so irritating. eugene's stillthe best! acjc swim team! no wonder so pro. by then it was almost 4.30. i remembered i still have to return to padang for ndp show. i left with clifton and wu yuan. before leaving gave eugene a sweet good-bye hug. hopefully he'l remember me! :). if you happen to read this wish you all the best eugene! when i rushed back to padang it was just right. dinner was ready alr. hahah. such good timing. then everything was sian as we were there waiting for our turn to perform for the night. bleah. my firework thingy had some technical problem. i think the circuit was connected wrongly or something. anyway after everything was over we quickly went back to our holding area and washed up. i tired to be naughty. =p. i went to the fountain near-by to wash. since i find it a faster and more convenient way to wash up. heard from my friends that they got caught for washing all the dirty paint off there body in the esplanade toilet. damn sway. after finished washing i gave leslie a call to see if i could meet up with my class first before going home. leslie told me they were somewhere by the river at clake quay. well when i reached there. there was a gig going on. it looks quite entertaining to me and i stayed throughout the whole performance till it ended at like 11.00. i spotted my class peeps. they were sitting somewhere behind the stage. but i didn't join them. they were alr quite happy chatting away. maybe i would be like an extra if i just barge in and sit down? sigh. esplanade is definitely not a very good place for me. i can't stop myself from thinking what would go through my mind whenever i step into that place. it's like something overcoming you without you being able to control it. especially when i was leaving the place. i could feel all the past memories coming back alive in my mind. i wish everything i had could come back to me once again. my class peeps called out to me when they were leaving that place while i was just looking up ahead to the river. the night scenery is really capitivating and romantic. was quite surprised my class peeps actually spotted me. i walked with them to the bus stop. michelle's dad or borther was picking her up at the taxi-stand. for the second time i didn't take a lift from her. well i guess i needed some quiet time for myself alone. she probably think i'm stupid enough to reject a lift. i need to stop blogging now. i still have work to catch up on! nevertheless i enjoyed the singing and guitar playing throughout the musical. although there were only two people performing but i must say they rocked! [we're miles apart. sometimes i wish you were the one beside the river.]

2005-07-14T19:57:00.000+08:00

oh my goodness. i've alvl chinese oral tomorrow. hopefully i won't screw up. i alr screwed up my midyrs like shyt. i'm too embarassed to type out my grades. maybe i should so when other ppl sees it they'l like tell me you better buck up yeah. hahah. anyway so far i've got back my bio, chem and maths. and it seriously went real bad. i remembered tina saying she feels like dying. yeah. i agree! i got 4 Fs. the feeling's really like dying lorh. for bio i had 25%, for maths i scored 27%, and chem was the highest so far i think! but nothing to be proud of. it's jus 29%. i didn't pass my chinese either. but it's an AO subject. and i can't even pass it for pete's sake! i always think i'm not cut out to be studying in pursuing a jc education. ms soh was saying in class. all of you are around 13 pointers. and if your other peers can make it so can you. oh my goodness larh. i can't imagine how ppl study man. all i know is that jc is madness. even i can't even find time to take a proper breather which is so sickening larh. oh ya. i have to attend a compulsory ndp rehearsal tml at krangi camp in preparation for the NE show this coming saturday. i'm looking forward to ann's brother's wedding. anyway i don't think she'l read this. but still thanks for inviting me. today after school we all kinda went to coro to slack. quite a big group of us! which includes ann, cari, corny, elena, weixin, mich, xiao yan. daryl, jes, les and terence joined us abit later bcoz they had chi oral. come to think of it i can't even speak fluent mandarin now! argh. i didn't really eat there bcoz i had eaten one big bowl of yong tao fu in sch bfore bio lecture. i almost couldn't finish it. but i didn't want to waste. =p. so i forced everything down. made me so full larh. spending time with the class can really cheer me up from all my stupidity scoring 4 Fs and all. thanks ppl! i wanted to go home initially but everyone was like asking each other to come along larh. and true enough we had a great time joking ard and talking! if only my 4 Fs were 4 As. okayy. i'm dreaming. it can never happen to me in my life. it's just wishful thinking on my part. good luck to me tml! i shall get myself familiar with chinese now. =).

2005-07-10T17:07:00.000+08:00

i've been so busy lately with ndp rehearsals. just had two this week. the people in-charge are really over-demanding fcukers. they got everyone into a super-pissed state. and how come it's always the ppl who are in the fireworks event that gets to leave last?! heh. it's not only me complaining. so many others too! well i got to know quite a few ppl through the rehearsals and made friends with them. which was quite a good thing. =). yesterday night it was the first time ever i've shot fireworks. it went really cool. except our event kinda screwed up. but anyway i think i wasn't in coordination with the music. everyone around me wasn't doing the same stuffs. i never even got myself used to the music beats and all. i still continued to fire when the part of the music was over. who gives a damn larh. i just had to make sure i fired. or not it would be a freaking waste of my time. out of the 50+ ppl only like 26 ppl were selected. thankfully i was selected or else i would have to wait till next week before i actually get to play around with the fireworks. =p. before we stepped onto the road to get ready for the rehearsal we had to do some pre-preparations. like wearing the make-up. collecting our costumes. the make-up part was yucks! we had to wear this glossy make up on our faces, hands, legs, etc. then everything ended still had to waste so much time washing up. i totally hate it man! the way the ppl-in-charge did and arranged stuffs was so inefficient and dumb. =p. i wish i could beat every single one of them to knock some sense into their thick skull! waiting time was a really big problem. aiyah. this and that also have to wait. i rather they all go and die larh. oh my goodness. i remembered they are going to arrange a rehearsal next wednesday. they are so cruel ppl. argh. i can't stand the way the do things. i feel really sorry for my fellow classmates. esp corny, bryan, daryl, leslie, willy. how could the ppl-in-charge made them wait the whole afternoon till night practically doing nothing? the worst things is doing something not productive at all like wasting a whole afternoon away. i kinda served them doing meals not to make them feel so bad about everything. yeap. it's like the and the mr tan made it sound so nice that FREE costumes would be provided. -puke- the costumes are like shyt larh. what's the big deal if they are free. after i was on with all the glossy stuff on my body only then they told us it's dinner time. i was telling myself. wtf?! how to eat with all the glossy stuff all over my body? they are damn dumb larh. why can't they let us have a good meal before applying all those stuffs? i want to transfer to fabric of the nation to join my class! =p. okayy. enough said for ndp. i was only dismissed at 10.30 yesterday! i walked out with the hockey guys. and was talking to trevor. he's this guy who was formerly from sji too. sji rocks! so do the ppl there! =p. he asked me something about my class while waiting at the traffic light. and we started talking for quite abit. until when we crossed the road i tried finding which bus-stop had 171 to bring me to kap. michelle called out to me! i was quite surprised actually. why was she not home yet? then michelle who's always being nice wanted to offer me a lift. so i was okie! ann was with her too. so we chatted till while waiting for her bro to pick us up. really need to thank her and her brother. if not i'l be back super late. probably after mid-night. her family's car so big and comfortable. can fall asleep inside. hahah. her brother's a crazy muscle man larh! arms so super big. i'm jealous! i wonder how much training ppl undergo. when i got down from her car. oh sheesh. then i remembered i left my shoes inside. i'm like so blur and forgetful. i gave er qing a call when i'm walking to my grandparents' house. the road which i was walking took me about 5-10 mins. but i sat down on the pavement and spent time talking to her before i made my way home. i felt so lazy to take bath. but in the end i still did. hygenic purposes. bleah. sometimes when i'm so tired i don't even brush my teeth. hahah. after bathing i went to lie in bed and less than 5 mins i fell asleep. i know that's fast. i'm such a pig larh. and i wasn't late for church today! phew. ALMOST. but wasn't. thankfully larh. i still have bio, chem and maths assignments to complete. what rotten luck! =p.

2005-07-02T00:30:00.000+08:00

i sure miss blogging! lately i've been busy with stuffs. sick and tired of all the exams! so far my chances of passing midyrs are like less than 5%. hahah. that's like so really bad. my brain cannot take so much facts larh. anyway exams aside. bleah. i still have one last paper nxt tues. argh. that means my weekend isn't totally going to be fun. =(. all my SPAs went alright so far i think. i hope. hahah. today's bio SPA i did fake the readings abit. bcoz the first experiment i did. my potatoe cylinder wasn't exactly 8 cm. aiyah. i don't even know if it would affect my weight change %. so the second set of experiment i cut properly lorh. then when i was plotting my table the examiner was walking by. and when he looked at my paper. he must be going like. huh? how come got weight change % for both sets of experiment the weights of the potatoe for the first column still empty. hahah. but the results were altered so they fell within the 0.1% range. that's super cheat larh. but i remembered mrs yap saying. die die oso cannot have anomalous. so i did some maths here and there to find the values for the weights of set 1 lorh. our class played soccer after bio SPA. it's been quite sometime since we played as a class. fun fun! although my head ached quite abit while playing but it's so fun larh. i didn't want to stop. played till like 4 i think until my energy was drained by the sun. only then i rested. =p. elena wanted to go by then. since i was going to the canteen. so chin chai walked her to the bus-stop larh. then while walking back saw celina. leslie's hockey gal! hahah. her class is jus nxt to mine larh. but didn't really get to talk to her until today. talked to her for quite abit. enough to make my legs go weak. okayy. i alr tired myself out from soccer. she was walking towards the bus-stop that direction. i asked her where she was going and she said sji. i was like huh? sji you sure? i don't even know cj track and field ppl trains at sji lorh. those who are doing high jump and long jump those kind i think. so coincidental. since she was going sji and my brother's having training in sch too so we walked behind that stretch of road to sji lorh. can save her bus-fare somemore. hahah. and she really can talk non-stop. like what leslie tells me. she's pretty sociable. i agree too! wah. her 2.4 timing is pro can. faster than me by almost half a minute when i was in sec1. when we reached sji she went off for her training then i went to meet my tcrs. like my ncc tcr who teaches brother now. didn't know he was formally from cj too. my sec3 physics tcr too! when i told him out of my sciences i scored the highest for physics at olvls. a2. he was like laughing larh. bcoz in sji i always fail physics wan mah. maybe i did surprise him? probably larh. saw alot of familiar faces. esp quite a few of my juniors. then waited in the canteen with brother after his training for daddy to pick us up. when i came home quickly went to bath and took my dinner. then off i went to sleep. got spitting headache larh. thankfully now it's better. if not i wouldn't be blogging here now. =p. shall turn in soon. my body seriously needs rest. it's been like so long since i played soccer. yeap. but i did have a good time playing larh. -yawns-

2005-06-17T14:23:00.000+08:00

woohoo. i made it home. i kind of ran not walk. RAN. from lot 1 back home. which took me like 15 mins. it seemed quite far larh. all the way from lot 1 till bukit panjang plaza. was super tired after the ndp rehearsal. 2nd rehearsal i had today. had the very first one yesterday. yay! today our group could almost perfect our moves. it just happened like that towards the end. it just came naturally i guess. at the start we were like want to do don't want to do that kind of thing. felt quite happy at the end. at least we were there for a more meaningful purpose rather than just go there and give the instructors a sulking look. oh well. hahah. what am i saying? to me there's good and bad. for the good part. it's a brand new experience for me! i'm acting in ndp for the first time. hahah. couldn't believe it. i would get to experience what those people who acted went through. all their painstaking efforts. come to think of it how nice would it be to do your little part for the nation by contributing a little of your time. hahah. actually quite time-consuming. somemore my studies are like shyt. well i can't use this as an excuse. i can only blame myself for my dumbness and stupidity. if only i could have better time management skills. i need to plan my time! which i have to start doing so. argh. midyears coming soon. right after the holidays. i hate it! i hate the pace jc goes! did i make a wrong move? hmm. i'm still pondering. yes i am. for today's rehearsal my group of friends didn't come. so it was quite boring for me. lied down on the floor whenever i could. i didn't even get enough rest yesterday. and i had to force myself up to go for ndp rehearsals. okayy. i shouldn't be so paranoid about it. and i'm going to 'kope' as many goodie bags as i can! to reward myself for all the efforts i've put in. and hope i can get tickets from the people in-charge. so that my friends can come down to support me. =p. and chanel was telling me she wants tickets when i called her. hahah. oh well. didn't get to meet her today. her cousin just came back from cheena! hahah. decided not to join them. it would be like so paiseh and extra larh. so ended up running home. how tiring! and oh my goodness. i dread the marathon rehearsal tomorrow. it's from 1 to 10 at night. so what if they provide dinner. i dread the long hours under the sun. but i shall be good. i will turn up for tomorrow's rehearsal. =p. what an angel. hahah.

2005-06-11T23:50:00.000+08:00

hooray. finally the weekends. went down to my grandparents' house early in the morning before 7. heh. i've been going there this early since ages ago. corny and i kinda decided on msn the day before to meet at kap for cycling and soccer. my little cousin was there. uncle was away on holiday so yeap. aiyah. i had to entertain him for like the whole morning. he's super noisy and naughty though he's cute. =p. when it approaced noon i cycled to kap to meet corny. then we walked for quite abit before reaching the estate park. there we played soccer for awhile only with my brother. only the three of us. so nothing much. my bro and i had to go back for lunch. hmm. brought corny along as well. while he slacked in the room using the com. we were eating. i tried offering him food but he said he wasn't hungry. hahah. and oh my gosh. it rained! chances are we won't get to cycle. thankfully it stopped larh. we set off for elena's house at 3 i think. cycled from kap there all the way to sunset way. past by daryl's house too. then when we reached elena's place we got stopped by the guard. hahah. so we waited outside. corny called elena and said she brought like 5 friends. omg larh. we didn't want to be extra so we told her we had to go off. hahah. dropped by 7-11 to get drinks. then cycled all the way back to my grandparents' house. on the way back damn sway larh. my bike the seat had a little problem then i used my right hand to support the seat then the other hand control the steering. it came to a point when i totally lost balance. -crash- i fell off my bike. sob. my right mid-arm got injured. left knee abit. palm also! and the most painful one is the area below my albs. looks like superficial but my albs below super pain larh. i can't even bend down fully. i hate it! i want to recover quickly so i can go cycling again. =p. i didn't even know corny called me when he reached kap. i was dragging my bike and trying to walk from smu all the way to kap to meet him. after walking for some distance. only then i returned his call. so he cycled back to see if i was alright. then the both of us went back slowly to my grandparents' house. slacked in the room listening to music. then corny took bath. after his bath we were talked about practically anything that came to mind. corny's taekwondo is extremely pro. better not offend him arh. hahah. i offered to walk him to the bus-stop. and we chatted about each other's school. he was saying how havoc st pat's ppl can get. wa lau. it's havoc until cannot havoc lorh. daryl's such a erm. he's nice in his own way larh but still. guys are guys larh. shall call him out for cyling in future. had a bad bath bcoz of all my cuts. wore long sleeves and jeans to the wedding dinner i had to attend later in the evening. i was alr so tired. sigh. met cousins there and i started talking to my sec1 cousin. we had a much greater time catching up with each other rather than the food larh. -yawns- i'm starting to fall asleep. time to stop blogging. =p.

2005-06-05T18:03:00.000+08:00

i never knew i'm so weak till the day i've lost everything about you. last friday went pretty well except when my day was coming to an end things didn't go that well. friday morning went to school for lessons. chem lectures and lessons all the way till close to one i think. after that i kinda rushed to the bus-stop and boarded 132 for town. met you when i boarded the bus 171 at the hmw bus-stop. we kinda listened to music all along the way until we alighted at marina. while we were walking through millenia walk only then i realised that you were so afraid of heights! but you told me before that you love roller-coasters alot. it's been ages since i've been on a roller coaster. i like the feeling when you were like cringing behind my arm whenever you looked at the reflection of the high ceiling on the ground. after you got your drink we proceeded to suntec. then you wanted me to follow you to star factory. didn't regret going to the arcade with you. but i must say i rarely go to arcades. i think you're the only person that can make me go. bcoz i will treasure every moment i have with you. and how could you? you wanted me to play dance dance revolution with you. i'm really lousy like shyt. but as long as i can see you have fun and enjoy yourself it's good enough for me. seeing you happy truly makes my day. after dancing we went to play daytona. you won one race. i won one. yay! we are even. after racing you wanted to play dancing again. i was like omg. again? well after much persuasion by you i did give in. i must admit you're like many many times better than me. luckily the arcade was quite empty. or not i will be super paiseh. you danced so gracefully. after dancing and all i was drenched in sweat! weird right? air-conditioned place still perspire. i told you i needed rest and we went all the way down to the first storey and seated at the glass benches. then we started talking. you were like super funny. asking me my bag so big put what. condom arh? hahah. wait till i make fun of you then you know. i talked about my sch for a short while and you were saying 'don't talk about studies alr.' we sat there. relaxed. and listened to music. how could you call me 'gong'. think i don't understand arh? i understand every word you say k. ok larh. i'm stupid. you saw my chem test 10/40. hahah. we listened to linkin park - numb (piano version). you told me you listen to that song everytime you feel sad. next time when we listen to that song again. we wipe away each other's tears alright. how we started as friends ended as friends too. in between there were the very special moments we shared. those are the times that i will never forget. wish you won't forget them too. you said you still treat me as your friend. still friends to one another till today. hopefully forever. but you definitely mean more than just a friend to me. oh ya. i remembered singing blue - you make me wanna for you. i said i knew the lyrics and you forced me to sing for you. you said i didn't sound too bad. but i think you're better. you were once from choir leh. after slacking and talking we left for esplanade. i was really blur with the directions i must say. we ended up walking in circles. suntec's so big! we still made it there. when we stepped in esplanade we went to the place where they had the jigsaw puzzle art. it was so beautiful. it was even more beautiful with you by my side. then we went to the roof terrace. since you said you've never been up there so we went there! the scenery was just so captivating. the few couples i saw. wish we could be like them. ever since back then when you told me i wasn't that special someone in your life anymore. i guess it would never happen or would take a long long time before we could. i helped you take pics since it's the first time you've gone up there. for me it's my second time. been there with brother and mummy once. you look really pretty in the pictures i took for you. trust me when i say you are. you never fail to put a smile on my face when i see your beautiful smile. =). you asked me if we could go into the place where they those leather chairs which looked real comfortable. too bad we're not VIPs. you complained that it was hot so i brought you to the library. the first time i came here i didn't step into the library. so actually this is my first time being in the library. the ambience was so romantic. you telling me that the whole esplanade would be even more romantic when it's night time. yeap. i totally agree. everything's romantic when i spend time with you. it's really sad that now we're friends only. i've always been the one letting you down. i took your love for granted. i only realised when you told me i wasn't your special someone anymore. but going out with you still makes me happy. i've regretted doing things against your will. your gentle will. i know i'l never make up to you this lifetime. when i was in the library i never and didn't dare hold your hand. i remembered the first we held hands was also the last. the feeling was just so good. i cycled from kap to beauty to meet you at night. the day was 26/03 right? i still remembered when i called you i saw you picking up your hp from the bush behind. hehe. you didn't spot me. you looked so cute turning around looking for me. i spotted you first! those were our happy times. you asked me if i wanted to drink something. i didn't want to. so instead i went to macdonald's to get a cup of water for you and me. we started walking and chatting under the moonlight. time passed so fast. it was approaching ten. super dark along the stretch of road which i was supposed to cycle in to go back to grandparents' house. you walked me to the stretch of road. then you pointed to the 'banana plant' on the tree. that's not a banana plant! it's bird's nest fern. hahah. when we said goodbye to each other. we hugged each other for the very first time. i couldn't bear to let you go. you were so sweet. we had a really memorable and happy past. i will never forget. after that day things weren't so smooth for us. the mistakes i did to you. had such a great impact on you. i know it's too late. i'm sorry from the bottom of my heart. my greatest regret in life is to see you loving someone else. i've told you this before. yeap. my greatest regret. stay happy with your darling. on friday you told me 'from the start i knew we couldn't be together. from the day i knew you. everything you've done meant nothing. i don't have any feelings for you anymore.' sigh. i hope i still get to hear from you. really do. if only i could turn back time. you will get the best of everything.

2005-05-31T17:52:00.000+08:00

today as usual went to sch. didn't have breakfast at home. instead daddy bought nasi lemak for me to eat in school since i always reach school early. there was hardly anyone in school. ate alone at the canteen extension. after like 15 mins saw ian coming to the canteen. he walked over to where i was sitting and we started chatting. wow. ian told me that there's actually this girl in odac who can do 11 pull-ups. oh my gosh. that's madness! surely can win me in arm-wrestling larh. hahah. ppl in odac are doing so well in fitness. argh. now i know my fitness standard is like shyt. good luck for all those in odac who are going for a competition on 12 june! oh ya. supposed to write ian a testimonial. he's my good buddy in obs. well i left him to do his work since i had to leave for bio lect. today seems like less ppl turned up. don't know why oso. i'm too stupid larh. so it's better for me to attend whatever lects i can. after bio lect i walked to sji to collect my olvl cert. while i was waiting at the bus-stop there was this guy rollerblading. heh. i don't believe that i couldn't recognise him until he called me. he's my former classmate back at sji. he roller-bladed all the way from cck to cjc. i want to learn roller-blading too! i've tried after my olvls last year but i gave up half way. sigh. boarded the bus to suntec and met mummy. mummy was late! oh. brother was there to join us too. on my way to suntec i met yong xian. congrats =). he's in hwa chong now. and still in canoeing as usual. hanged around suntec and marina till late afternoon. went to carrefore to buy junk food. so unhealthy larh. before we went home we dropped by esplanade to have a look. first time i went there. so was kinda excited. hahah. really first time went there leh. everything appeared so nice. i could tell the library was damn high class thou i didn't really go in . the 'jigsaw-puzzle' art display was so unique. and the best was the roof terrace. i bet the ambience would be super romantic esp at night. i'm tired from all the walking today. shall have dinner soon. school again for me tml! 'they stay the way they are, i stay the way i am.'

2005-05-30T18:16:00.000+08:00

-looks back- i still can't accept and don't believe they treated me this way. the way that i hated alot. i still couldn't figure out why. all i know was i didn't offend them. it doesn't always pay to be the good guy. life makes you learn to be strong no matter what happens. but is it possible? the greatest sin is looking down on other ppl. and the greatest mistake is not realising it. at least when i first stepped here i did have happy times talking, chatting, and cracking jokes. and surprisingly i danced. bcoz i felt being part of something. yeap. the laughter and all certainly added a great deal of fun. i really pity someone. i can see he's like trying so hard to get to know other ppl better. at least when i look back i would still have the fun times to relish. 'many parts form one body.' i hope i'm not a part of the many parts. don't wish to get myself involved. when they went out today. i didn't even want to follow them. more like tagging-along behind like a total loser. it's something quite similar to when the feeling in a relationship is lost there is no point carrying it on meaninglessly. once it's gone it's pretty difficult to revive it back. they can go enjoy by all means. i wouldn't make a difference. yeap. i guess it's kinda like that. both lectures today were quite ok. i was sitting alone by myself. for once i don't have to face any pressure from them. it's like a whole new world that i'm living in. and apparently there're external pressures too. my mind wasn't really there during maths lecture. but still i tried to make sense out from what the tcr is teaching. the song 'Akon - Lonely' is quite true actually. when you feel lonely. you're like a total nobody. heh. brother's so secretive about his ipod. i have no idea who gave it to him. he probably wouldn't buy it himself. anyway i've fixed my mp3 player myself. yay. finally it works. ytd i felt bored so decided to have a go at fixing it. didn't expect it to work either. and i treasure it alot since it was a gift from granpa. =). i don't look forward to school like i did before. i hate school! thank god i've a blog to pin down all my thoughts and feelings. how useful can my blog be. =D. right now i don't have any hopes. not even passing my exams. i'm dumb and i don't deserve to pass anything. i shall be going out with mummy tml. it's something that i look forward to. i'm better off alone. just now was super funny. brother wanted to play pool at home. then right we used our dining table which was slighly smaller than a pool table. used tennis balls. then for the cue. guess what? hahah. we used umbrellas. heh. had fun playing. times like this i really got to enjoy. once i'm in school. everything's a different story altogether. sigh. don't know if i should train later. did workout in the afternoon alr. i don't want ppl to call me fat. it really does'nt sound nice at all. then straight after working out i fell asleep. piggy me. still feel abit tired now. -yawns-

2005-05-29T17:10:00.000+08:00

had an important entry to type ytd. that's why didn't really blog about my day. well ytd did project work with my group which consists of elena, tina and xiao yan. i'm the only guy. argh. hopefully they won't ill-treat me. so far haven't yet. =p. i left my grandparents' house slightly before 10 and walked to the bus-stop opposite kap. took 171 to town for project. my mp3 player spoilt for quite sometime. so boring larh the bus journey. no music. nothing! by the time i reached far east it was almost 10.30. went to kfc and elena was alr inside. guess what? oh my gosh. she's mugging for bio as expected. i'm like so behind time. sigh. we sitted there and chatted for quite awhile before tina came. wah. ppl actually started studying for olvls in july. omg. that's like so early lorh. for me one week before olvls then i flipped open my books to study. thankfully i didn't do too badly larh. though there's still room for improvement. gp went : ( on friday. how come it's so difficult to even pass in gp?! it would be a miracle if i clear gp. -prays- we started discussing for so long leh before we came up with the animal-lover service. really look forward to such a service. hahah. it's going to be interestingly fun! hope this time ms lee approves our proposal. or there goes our efforts again. tina and elena were busy eating. then since i wasn't eating i volunteered to do the write-out. they were saying i was super enthusiastic about the project. alvls leh. not enthu oso must act enthu mah. hahah. xiao yan came extremely late. then we just told her briefly what we were planning to do. anyway it's about 1 plus. and i had to leave. on my way out i met bryan. with his outside gang i think. then chanel called to say she's coming town. just in the nick of time i was about to board the bus. so i was like ok lorh. we decided to meet at taka. then she said meet at the fountain there. so i went to the fountain at the basement there. i told her i reached alr. but still couldn't find leh. aiyo. she was at the fountain outside taka! bad bad. made her walk here and there. sorry k. anyway it was nice meeting her larh. she's been a model for quite long. so cool. too bad we met for awhile only since she had to go off with her friends to catch a movie. she's like so thin. i think i'm twice her weight larh. =p. after she left then i walked all the way back to the bus-stop to catch 171 back to kap. the bus was squeezy like anything. the bus shook here and there plus i'm on an empty stomach. make me so giddy larh. when i reached kap it was alr 2.30. crossed the over-head bridge and walked all the way into my grandparents' house. lunch was awaiting me! i couldn't wait to eat larh. damn hungry. the weather made me take out my shirt before i walked into the stretch of road. aiyah. who cares. the weather can kill. and i'm wearing a black shirt! when i reached home my body was filled with sweat. then looked into the mirror. wah. shiny shiny effect. damn nice! but my tummy all the fats larh. yucks. rested for awhile before i went out with grandpa, aunt, mummy and brother later. shall end here. lessons and lectures for me tml when other ppl are enjoying life. -faints-

2005-05-29T01:52:00.000+08:00

'Chris. I'm alone at the airport now. I came to kill myself.' omg. when i saw this msg i was alr like 2 1/2 hours late. first thing i got to thank God you didn't kill yourself at the airport. i hate myself for just falling to sleep while lying on the floor in the com room. you'l never know how panic-stricken and worried i got what i received that msg. well i replied you and called right away. when i hear your so saddedned and depressed voice it can alr make me break down you know. and how i wish i was beside you to share your burden. i'l definitely want to be by your side when you're going through the darkest moment of your life. i don't even know what exactly happened. all you kept telling me was 'Chris. I won't live till tomorrow.' last month in april was a really sad month for us. we were supposed to be happy celebrating my bday. but you ended up disappointed and pissed with me for whatever reason. i don't wish to type it out now. the presents from you were the sweetest. it brings out in me alot of hurt and suffering seeing you so sad and all. many a time i've let you down. i know i did. sigh. i've been living with this mistake all along. the fear of you leaving me one day just like that always lingers within me just that i didn't tell you directly. the fear of you ending everything including our beautiful friendship. you saying you won't live till tml after eating the pill stuffs and all. i prayed really hard they were untrue. it cannot be true. it cannot. bcoz i'l be the one who would take care of you when no one else does. we must always try to carry a postive approach to the struggles in life. they can be overcome. the time and effort you put in surely will pay off. remember? after what happened in april when we didn't keep in touch for a few weeks or so. we could still go out so naturally and smoothly 2 weeks ago. you told me you had fun yeah. same here. although all this while in the eight months i know you. we've never been in a relationship. but i feel that we're closer than the many ppl around us. the last time i saw you was 14/05/2005. that won't be the last time alright. just imagine the fun we had going out together. it makes you want to live right? it certainly does k! we still have a long way to go. we'l guide each other in every step of our way. i ain't perfect. but in my eyes you are. you've done alot for me. same here. but you did more. please don't ever die. God will be good to you. he'l make a miracle happen tml. you'l live! then we can meet up on monday. no one knows what is like to feel this feeling. but whatever feeling you're going through now. i'l more or less feel it. after being through so much with you i can say from the bottom of my heart that i'l never ever want to lose you. all the love we made can never be replaced. friends forever and always. without you the world wouldn't be a loving place to live in anymore. the love and care you've brought to the world is just so so great. i can't afford to let anything bad happen to you. even if you don't read this. i hope you know there's still someone out there who is willing to care for you. i accept you for who you are. you being someone really important in my every aspect of my life whether you realise it or not. love, chris.

2005-05-26T18:30:00.000+08:00

mummy and daddy are off to brother's school for streaming talk. i'm all alone at home. i seriously don't know what to study for gp lorh. and the worst part is i don't read the newspaper. argh. damn lazy larh me. it's so different. olvls i didn't even study a single thing for english and i scored A2. now i can't even pass larh. how frustrating. if i cannot pass eng no point coming to jc lorh. i hope brother goes to triple science like me. hees. if i can make it. he can too! i'm so busy with jc wrk. actually i'm considered very slack. other ppl are working like siao. my arm shrunk 2cm from last year. argh. oh my goodness. i didn't realise my triceps are damn small until jun told me! aiyah ask him arm-wrestle me everytime oso come up with crap excuses to escape. hahah. but i must admit his running is superb. ok. pro larh. i'm the type that got no future and talent in running. now slacking online for awhile. oh ya. brother was telling mummy and me ytd. his geog tcr was teaching the topic on land reclaimation. then there's this dyke word in the chapter. he told the tcr 'isn't the word pronounced as di*k?' hahah. mummy and me were like laughing our heads off. he told us what the tcr said and how she reacted but i can't really remember now. anyway i got 16 groove coverage songs now. yay. finally can have a CD collection of groove coverage songs. i started listening to groove coverage quite sometime back when i fell prey to this really nice song played during a yo-yo competition. 'God Is A Girl.' good luck to me tomorrow. i must pass gp. if not everything fail larh.

2005-05-24T19:01:00.000+08:00

daddy's been really nice to me ever since i came to cjc. almost everyday picking me up from school. same for today. i waited for daddy since he said this morning he will be fetching me. now i feel really bad. bcoz i keep failing my tests. i failed my gp for the second time. didn't improve from my previous essay. thankfully it didn't get worst. phew. i hate school when it ends late. so little time left for myself. esp today. after maths lecture. there was maths tutorial. bio prac. chem tutorial. makes my mind super drained and exhausting. i'm totally sick of jc now. ytd was chatting with my friend who went to RP to do bio-medical course. and i couldn't believe it. she doesn't have any homework at all till now. they do communication skills, presentation skills and all in poly. and since i feel i'm a more practical person that's why i can see how much i would have to slog out even to pass a subject. to me studying in jc is like mental torture. before i could fully understand something. the tcr would alr be on another topic. what to do? i've always been slow in learning. that's my nature. how unfortunate. i envy people who excel in studies. but i know i can never be like them. i've always wanted to show ppl that i can make it. but i end up achieving nothing. i'm just a nobody in this world awaiting to die. i try to be happy but some things aren't always the way you want them to turn out. how i wish ppl could lower their pride and sharpen their humility. mich. thanks for the sweets you gave me today. though it'l make me grow fat but later on i'l still eat them. shall try to finish. i'm not good with words. but i did thank you jus now. actually i don't deserve anything oso. heh. it's three more days to my gp exam. if i fail. that's the end. i won't get promoted anymore i think. unless i do extremely well for final year. which is like so super impossible. i never spoke a single word to les today. kinda unbelievable. i'l be like that till god knows when. i'm broke but i still put Y for class jersey for the second time. the first time round i didn't. that i admit. i don't know what name and number to choose. my mind's in a super lost state now.

2005-05-23T21:08:00.000+08:00

firstly i got to apologise. i don't really reply on my tag-board. sometimes i don't even check lorh. today i woke up early at like 7. argh. damn tired. no choice larh since mummy said she needed to wash my bedsheet. they all went to pick class jersey today i think. didn't want to go out with them. =p. since today dad ain't working so decided to be guai and stay home to keep my family company. =). my short-term memory's back. i can't remember what i did. argh. well i think i did try to read the mass media notes tcr gave but it's super boring larh. i thought brother what i learnt in fitness club. lalalas. i can be his personal trainer. bleahs. he's so strong alr larh. i can't even do 8 pull ups in when i was in sec 2 lorh. and he won me in napfa by 1 pt. i feel so paiseh. but i won him in 2.4 run. yay. first time ever k. my 2.4 run still sucks larh. talked and talked to him till parents got fed-up larh. hahah. he's supposed to do work since his streaming exams are coming. i'm on a food bringe. my fav aunt and mummy kept telling me to eat more. they always nag and nag. saying if i don't eat next time will become tick-ko. hahah. i jus finished a big bowl of tom yam noodles. then right when i was eating the soup damn spicy larh. so i was making a weird expression like going to choke on the chilli and throw up that kind of expression. brother and daddy kept laughing larh. choke on chilli throat super pain wan k! aft that went to the room to pack my bag. brother was doing his total defence project. my dog-tag was in my bag. it remembered me of the person who gave it to me on my bday. and i went gabrielle! i really have no idea how to pronounce her name larh. until she told me how to. initially when i tried pronouncing it went gae-bril-lee. hahah. super funny larh. brother and i kept going on and on. saying the name over and over again. i miss clifton! my life time brother. decide on a date arh. then we can go collect our olvls certificate.

2005-05-22T17:09:00.000+08:00

i'm listening to music from groove coverage now as i'm blogging. they're pretty meaningful. the lyrics tells alot. i really love the songs. they can deviate my mind away from all the troubles in life. be it the trivial ones or the burdened ones. puts me in wonderous look why certain things in life goes against your way. esp something subtle and unpredictable like love. living an unwholesome 17 years surely did make me realise certain things are worth letting go. these are the things which you don't give a damn or a second look. on the contrary the happy and vivid memories which can put a smile on your face =) on a gloomy day are the stuffs that are worth keeping in your heart now and always. and most importantly the songs makes me want to dance too! remembered the times when i danced in class. so paiseh and ma-loo. no wonder everyone was like laughing their heads off. yucks! i enjoy dancing just that i can't dance well and properly larh. after being in a class for close to two months. hmm. i realised that there are two super segregated groups in my class. they are like the allied and axis larh. for me. i'm like on my own. i. myself. my own clique. same person. no idea whether it's a sad or happy thing. probably a mixture of feelings i guess. one clique has like 8 ppl. the other has 8 too i think. not sure either. bleahs. nvm. i was asking hui hui on friday when we were having prize ceremony in the freaking stuffy multi purpose hall at the place where they train teachers. forgot what the place is called also. super blur man! anyway i asked how come never go out together as a class with the other clique. then she was saying they all also never ask us to join them. oh well. quite true actually. someone has to take the initiative larh or else like that lorh. i'm still thinking how sway i was last friday larh. i was coming down from the escalator in hmv with my friend then shun xie shouted my name in a weird accent. then her whole clique turned to look at me larh. kinda dao-ed them. =p. somemore go round spreading rumours. super bad larh. hate this kinda ppl. but they did apologise. so i was like ok lorh. anyway girls like to gossip larh. hahah. cannot be helped. back to clique stuffs. i really don't want to be caught in a situation whereby i'm kind of like a tag along. something like let's say A guy talking to B girl and C just hangs around the both of them but hardly participates in the convo. even if i ain't accepted in class. i'm happy being an ex- josephian. 'once a josephian, always a josephian.' and from what i see there're many potential couples in my class. don't wish to type it out larh. such things sensitive mah. maybe i won't even get through my promotion exams larh. why think so far? life is but a dream. just like the song row your boat suggests. i believe and sure God has a plan for me. only start of sec 4 then i started being more participative in church. started singing the hymns and all. it just comes naturally larh. before that i'm like totally switched off in church lorh. someone in church has a really really sweet voice. she's in choir. bleahs. i'l never get to know her larh. but my family always sits near the choir. hees. it's been a few weeks since i saw her in church today again. she did intersessions. -winks- heh. grandma knows her mummy i think. =p. argh. my mind is flooded with groove coverage. time to stop now! i miss my long brother in sji. wonder if he will see this. probably not right. too busy with girls in jc alr. =D.

2005-05-22T14:31:00.000+08:00

i'm slacking online now. that's the worst thing i can do when exams are coming! my whole body's aching now. argh. hate it! just came back from badminton and soccer with brother. i'm training badminton with my left hand. woohoo. since both my arms are damn lousy i chose to train left hand lorh. anyway i had great food yesterday night. still thinking about the food now. hahah. the fried oyster in newton makes me drool. superb man! grandma went out with her friend yesterday and she didn't come back till 10 plus and brought food back. got me worried for quite abit larh. oh ya. and the pau grandma bought. simply marvellous. but so ex- lorh. one big chicken pau costs $1.40. that reminded me yesterday afternoon when i went out with my cousins. we ordered this plate of don't know what fish from the korean stall. then i told my cousin i won't be eating much so i'l share with him. when i asked the lady how much is one bowl of rice. wa seh. she told me one buck for that small bowl of rice. go and die larh. rip off! super pissed lorh. anyway i got cousin to get another bowl of rice from another stall. makes me wonder how ppl make money out of us. the fish definitely tastes yummi-licious. sadly there's no such thing as having the best of both worlds. the calories and cholesterol. argh. how sia. i don't want to grow fat. okok. now must try to control my diet. plus exams coming. the worst thing is i won't have any time to exercise! spent my whole saturday morning fixing and upgrading stuffs on the coms at my grandparents' house. i took super long lorh. damn stupid larh. and super blur oso. hahah. last night i made sure everything's in place before i took my bath at like ten. oh ya. ytd afternoon was raining. stucked at home. super sian larh. got nothing much to do. i piggy-backed my cousin to and fro the asile in my grandparents' house for ten times continously. told mich before my cousin's from her sec sch. then she was saying the lower sec there got alot of fat ppl. sob sob. she must be referring to my cousin. hahah. having fun at the same time it's challenging. he's like more than 5kg heavier than me lorh. imagine overcoming a weight heavier than your body. felt weak and numb in my limbs. hahah. after the rain subsided. grandpa, mummy, my fav aunt, my two cousins went out for dinner. that's when i had the super oily fish which made me feel so fat now larh. guilt-ridden. sigh. my whole body is in pain. -aches-

2005-05-20T17:57:00.000+08:00

when i came back home. mummy asked me. 'chris did you play soccer today?' i was like. ya. apparently i didn't. sigh. today sucks larh. what a way to begin. but who cares. hmm. in the morning after letting brother off at sji daddy dropped me at the teacher's training centre there near botanical gardens. i thought i was early. but i saw quite a few people there. when i walked in met sean lee. my classmate in sec 1 and 2. asked him what was he doing here so early then he said was supposed to set up the sound system. so cool. he's in film and video club. i love photography. but sadly it's an expensive hobby. i'm way too poor to afford. so i can well forget it. i offered to help set up the sound system since i had nothing to do at that time. waited for my classmates to arrive. assembled on the field at 7 plus. then the soccer guys had to report at 9 plus i think. so my class ppl told me i was supposed to play since i did sign up. was kinda surprised. actually was totally caught by surprise bcoz the tcr told me i wasn't registered to play. hmm. then there was nothing i could do. so i just had to accept it lorh. but the match starts at 10:10. after they reported and we went back to our bags elena wanted to take pics of the class team. i was like. don't want larh. i also not playing for the class. after much persuasion i chin chai took pics with them. felt so extra larh bcoz i wasn't even going to play lorh. it reminds me of the very different times when i was in sji. everyone who signed up gets to play no matter what. really love the sji spirit. brings back good memories. even though the team wasn't on a winning streak everyone still gets a chance to be on the field. that is when a class can really bond well and overcome all odds together. every player sees the best in each other. winning isn't everything though ppl might disapprove of what i say. it's the satisfaction you get when actually work towards something you have in mind. of course there's always room for improvement. i'm a really imperfect person with lotsa flaws. i don't ask for much. i won't even mind if my entire class depise me. i feel like a class reject. always wanting to do my part but i ain't perfect enough. you guys did well in soccer today. keep up the good work. i tried not to bemoan or anything. since i knew i wasn't going to play. i'm far from good but how i wish i we could play as a class together. that's just all i ask for. well true enough i didn't manage to. went for a morning jog to botanical gardens ALL alone by myself. how sad. indeed it is. but i must admit it's a really nice feeling with the greenery surrounding you. the serenity just simply diverts my mind away from all the unhappy stuffs and troubled world i am in. unfortunately. on my way back met quite a few of my old friends. caught up with them on some stuffs. by the time i came back the match has started. but didn't really go to the pitch and support. had some other stuffs to attend to. i only when there when the match was half way through. heh. the sun really kills. it's like draining all my energy away. so frustrating. did'nt do much except for the jogging but i alr felt deadbeat. jun was telling me about how he disliked his class. but at least you still got to play netball with your class. you ought to feel happy yeah. i doubt you'l read this. hahah. bcoz you don't even know my blog. i've always wanted to play as a team with my class. bleahs. forget it. i'l never happen larh. so i shalln't think so much. the soccer boots which i got for my bday present. hmm. maybe it should be a class boots. i don't really play field soccer much. more of those on concrete ground. after all the games ended still had to proceed to the multi purpose hall for prize giving. the hall was super stuffy. there was practically no ventilation at all. sucks larh. i sat alone. obviously i was. then susan started talking to her clique about my friend with me at hmv last friday. hai. they all started asking funny and weird stuffs. i can't be bothered. waited impatiently for the prize giving to end then jun wanted to go town to have lunch and he was thinking of getting a new hp. so i suggested that we eat first then i'l bring him to view hps. since he was alright with it and i was fine too we walked all the way till the bus-stop one stop after sji. didn't want to go out with my class. for whatever reason i have on mind. anyway they were going for pool. i hate pool! and i don't really click with the stuffs my class ppl talk and do. initially was ok. but now. i don't know larh. maybe it's bcoz i didn't want to mix around much with them. except for leslie. but since les's following them. then like that lorh. hi five. jun hates pool like i do. jun and i was talking and talking along the way till our mouths almost ran dry. makes me change the impression of st pats' guys. just didn't have a good impression of them. if i remembered correctly my samsung flip-phone got stolen in sec 3 when st pats' ppl came down to my school for rugby. shyt them larh. i was so stupid leh. since it was raining quite heavily i left my hp in my back and forgot to take it out when i went to cheer for my sch. after we alighted at far east jun suggested we eat at subway. we settled down and each bought the foot long thingy. it was super big. eat till you drop! damn full after that. hahah. feel so fat now. sigh. i'm always fat larh. brought jun to view hps. we went to m1 shop first but the place is so small. brought him to the mega singtel store just before hmv. everytime i recommend him a hp he would have some negative comments to make larh. so fussy sia. it was still early so we went to hmv to jalan jalan. didn't know jun was an adidas fanatic. hahah. jun's super blur larh. i'm alr blur enough but someone's even blurrer than me. =p. after that i felt tired alr. got abit of headache. so decided to go off. i had to walk all the way from hmv to opposite far east that bus-stop larh. my day ended quite ok. just that somehow it sucks larh.

2005-05-15T20:00:00.000+08:00

it's 8 a.m and i'm waking up to blog. wanted to blog ytd. bleahs. was too tired to turn on the com. i must say the last two days have been great. and i mean really great k. went out with my friend since we decided that she should celebrate after her exams. i pon-ned fitness club training on friday and headed for town. i was alr running late. bad bad. that day had chinese compo. everything's in a rush larh. initially i thought we're supposed to hand in on that day since the previous compo we had to. anyway i quickly packed my stuffs and rushed out of class to the bus-stop. waited kinda long for the bus. by the time i reached fast east it was alr 3 plus. i'm late! argh. somemore had to walk all the way from far east to hmv to meet my friend. super far larh with my super heavy bag. sorry to keep you waiting for so long. i was like apologising profusely. we walked all the way to cine to get some stuffs then went to taka for a drink. so long since i had bubble tea! i love bubble tea. none of us wanted to eat so ended up getting drink lorh. after that went back to hmv to take neoprints. then on our way down the escalator damn sway larh. saw ppl from my class. hai. just my luck. the amount of ppl in walking to and fro i oso blur larh which bus-stop i have to go to return home. my friend accompanied me to the bus-stop opposite far east. so nice and sweet of her. along the way we got free coffee from star bucks. hahah. and there's this scary person who painted himself with gold paint all over. standing there motionlessly on an elevated platform. didn’t bother to find out what was it. but he looked damn scary larh. slept pretty well on friday night. i was tired but had a hell load of fun. esp the funny comments my friend made. hahah. hmm. yesterday night was as fun too! i called my friend up in the afternoon when i was studying at IMM. then she asked me if we could meet up at west mall at seven plus. i wasn't really sure if i could make it then. grandpa and mummy was doing shopping at giant hypermart. poor me had to study bcoz there's a chem test nxt week. thankfully brother was there to accompany me or i'l be bored to tears. when i returned to my grandparents' place i somehow managed to find time to go to westmall. when i reached westmall my friend needed to use my library card since her's is invalid. hahah. see larh never return overdue books that's why your card's invalid. you better return the books that you borrowed with my library card arh. i don't want to get fined! my friend suggested going to the arcade. we played the racing car game. hooray! i won. this shows that guys make better drivers larh. bleahs. i sound really childish. hahah. well i lost in king of fighters. i suck at fighting games. afterall i still had lotsa fun. who cares if it's childish. hahah. i enjoyed myself. that's what matters most! we went to the ground floor and there's this super funny game going on. we were laughing like siao. quite lame leh the game. since i told my grandparents i would return by 9 we went to the interchange and took 852 at like 8 plus. walked my friend home bcoz i felt it wasn't too safe for her to go home alone at night larh. made sure everything was well before i left. took 5-10 mins jog from my friend's house back to my grandparents' house. it's damn quiet and empty larh the roads which were leading to my grandparents' house. i got home with my body filled with sweat. yet another day well-spent! on the other hand i dread the upcoming exams. i chose the easy way out. enjoy first when i can. =p.

2005-05-04T18:39:00.000+08:00

i've just taken a cool bath. decided to blog since i'm feeling kinda fresh now. went towning with the towning peeps from my class. daryl, ann, cariann, corny, jes, les, mich, elena, and last but not least willy! they're my wonderful companions of 1t38. so far till now school has been quite alright. more to the fun side. all thanks to my great class. not a moment of silence. our class is never quiet. always can hear infectious laughter and chit-chatting. hahah. we had a break at the coffee bean outlet at taka. slacked there for awhile. bought drinks. sat down. talked. and took pictures. the picture taking was really fun. imagine doing weird poses in public in front of so many people. hahah. but we enjoyed ourselves alot. shall chase elena for the pics. i can't wait to see the pics! time flies super fast when you're out. but during lectures. it's a different story altogether. and bio lecture today i was like going to fall asleep anytime. i forced les to make me stay awake. hahah. as usual chem lecture today i didn't quite get the teacher. was talking to les. and cariann made les the president of PIG club. hahah. so bad of her larh. it's such little things that adds more life and fun to our class! dancing is class is definitely fun too! i dance really lousily. hahah. but who cares. everyone is having fun when the music's on! sheesh. chinese test tomorrow. i need to get down to work. yay. ms lee wasn't her for maths today. ended up some 'genius' reliefing her who wasn't too straight. i almost jumped out of my skin larh. he has this freaky look of a maths nerd which sends shivers down my spine. ok. shalln't talk about him anymore. had enough of him in class alr. hahah. all the best for tomorrow's chinese test! corny joined jun and me for our fitness club training. corny's damn fit larh. he lifts weights with no difficulty. i was like struggling lorh. since when fitness club became so on. -faints-

2005-05-02T01:55:00.000+08:00

[to c.q: it's been sometime since i heard from you. it's close to eight months ever since i've know you. i'm glad we can talk smoothly today. thank god. i hope we're still friends at least. i heard you're not too well lately. don't run too much. let your legs rest well. congrats for topping your level in english. i'm happy for you. i should've stayed awhile longer at beauty world. i didn't know your tuition ends at 8.40 pm. dad picked me up 10 mins before your tuition ended. what a wrong timing. if only i get to meet you. i really miss you all this while. alot. hope to catch up on you soon. thanks for the techno songs too!] it's almost two now.

2005-05-01T21:47:00.000+08:00

i've finally taken had my dinner and taken my bath. went for xy's birthday party somewhere in bukit timah. actually her bf's place. by the time i went there quite a handful was there alr. well i settled down. xy's friends ordered pizza. i just ate one piece but it was quite big. anyway i'm growing fat this days. if i had not taken for mich she wouldn't have anything left to eat. you better thank me. hahah. i really can't imagine how fast they ate. come to think of it i was taken by surprise the people xy mixes with. they were so different from the friends i know. maybe it's just me. but my other classmates there did highlight to me too. well i guess i won't say much since they're her secondary school pals i suppose. before we left her fellow classmates who are us from 1t38 sang her a birthday song. darcy and i kicked the soccer ball around the compound while waiting for elena and jes. i slipped and fell! the floor was so slippery bcoz it was kinda drizzling. i think it's bcoz i'm too fat and clumsy. hahah. mich's contacts came off while we were walking out and she spent quite sometime getting it back. if i wear contacts i'l be meddling with it like every 10 minutes. it's like something stucked right to your eyes. i'l never want to wear contacts. thankfully my eyes aren't that bad. i piggy-backed corny. heh. how was it? nice right? i told corny i would 'ferry' him to the nearest bus-stop. but i practically died half way. sheesh. i'm so weak. but it was still nice having to piggy-back you. i called mich to ask her to wait bcoz she was just opposite the road and i was heading towards beauty world. after i met she and ann then i remembered my soccer ball was with darcy and paddy. so i phoned darcy instructing him to bring back the ball on tuesday since it was brother's soccer ball. then mich was saying that i sounded like making an annoucement. really meh? i didn't know i sounded like that. as we were walking towards the traffic light we saw this weird looking person. reminds me of osama. the beardy features on him. somemore it's at night. mich, ann and i was totally freaked out. we were so scared. the three of us even crossed the road when it was red man. i called dad. told him i'l be meeting him at beauty world around half past eight. i offered to walk mich home since i was still early. but she insisted that i would trouble her. so she walked home herself instead. thankfully she got home safely. well ann went home herself too. and i walked to beauty world. even though it's night time i still felt damn hot. sweating all over. by the time i reached beauty world i went in to rest for awhile while waiting for daddy. i felt kinda hungry. by the time i got home it was close to nine. my parents bought back food for me. had pineapple rice with some other stuffs. had almond with longan for desert. it tasted so delicious. esp the pineapple rice. dinner wasn't too bad. it made up for the one piece of pizza i had. i feel quite tired now actually. shall end here. -yawns-

2005-04-30T20:41:00.000+08:00

oh my gosh. lately i've just been eating too much. so unhealthy. few days ago on wednesday was daddy's birthday. daddy turns 43 i think. haha. we didn't get to sing him a birthday song. simply because he didn't want it. : (. but i did wish him though. brother didn't as he's more of the 'bo chap' kind. his exams are coming real soon. and he's still kinda addicted to this online game. mummy's like keep on reminding me everyday to lock the com! but i didn't bother to. by the time i reach home from school i feel deadbeat. thnakfully daddy fetches me most of the time. that's why i usually reach home around evening. or else it would be even later. really got to thank daddy for taking the trouble after work to drop by my school to pick me up. my classmates esp mich have been calling me daddy's boy. actually not true larh. i'm not daddy's boy! -looks away- mich stop calling me daddy's boy or i shall call you daddy's girl. deal? haha. on thursday less than ten of us i suppose went towning to shop for a present for our fellow classmate, xy. we ended up getting a pink bottle for her. super nice bottle. but i must say it's quite ex- for a bottle. each of us chip in a little so i guess it's still alright. before that we went to shop for a present too. for les's ahem. we got her this roxy pencil case. seems like she needs a new pencil case that's why we decided to get her one. then daryl was like. 'can i not pay?' he has something against her. but in god's kingdom everyone is equal! so must learn to accept others for who they are. well seems like i need to learn too. after eating at mos burger which i didn't because dad told me he's getting fried oyster. we went to this puma shop at taka bcoz les wanted to look ard for a sling bag. after that it's time for me to go home. leslie and i walked to the bus-stop which was super far. corny went to collect his pool cue. mich and the others went the other way to their bus-stop. on the way my shoulders were aching. ordered les to carry the bag for me. haha. he actually did. so kind of him. but i felt bad. so i took my bag from him. i know larh. my bag's kinda heavy. shared some personal stuffs with les during the bus journey before i alighted. so now you know how miserable my life is? well. life's like this. we live for the sake bcoz our families and friends care. tutorials are not as great now because i was shifted away from my previous seat. i love my previous seat so much larh. can lean on the wall since it's right at the back of the class. i can eat anytime i want too. do anything i like without the teacher knowing. but NOW i'm right in front. leslie got shifted too. at least i still have someone to talk to. see larh les. talked so much and laughed so loud till we got shifted right in front. be more guai maybe teacher will shift us back. haha. hmm. so far i've only passed my maths. that's all. failed bio. sigh. my just deserts for not studying hard enough. should put in a little more effort. scored 20.5/50 for bio. chem's even worst. i couldn't understand the question. 4/20. maybe i'm just too dumb for jc. but it's too late to regret now. i failed gp too. and this is the first essay i wrote in 2005. ok. i'm just making excuses to cover up for my stupidity. i'm stupid and dumb! i won't go mugging all throughtout the night bcoz i totally hate mugging. studies aside. the past two days were fun. went out with class. still remember ytd after school the same few of us went to bukit timah market to eat. class feast! willy, elena, mich, jes, ann, corny, les, cariann. we ordered quite alot of food. i almost exploded. sheesh. my appetite is small. all of us had the white fried carrot cake. yummy! so delicious. but it will be napfa test for guys next friday. arhhh. i'm screwed. i'l probably get E for all the stations. i can feel that i'm getting fatter and fatter. i don't even exercise. too lazy i guess. and i went home myself since the others went for pool. i'm not daddy's boy. see. i went home myself mich! so you don't have the right to call me daddy's boy anymore. went home took a cool bath then went to nap for a few hours. ended up not doing any work. i'm so screwed. brother paul was saying at the parents' talk some time back that we need to study for a minimum of 18 hours or something like that a week. can't really remember. i barely even studied for 2 hours per week. no wonder i'm always so stupid and useless. my studying attitude still didn't improve much from secondary school days. and i had so much food today too! uncle and aunt brought their kid down. this 3 year old cousin of mine. a few weeks since i've seen him. when i went out of the gate as uncle's car was parked outside my little cousin was shouting 'kor kor'. so cute! carried him into grandparents' house. he's really stubborn at times. everything also wants to eat. since he's just a small kid the adults got to give in to him. but cannot be always giving in to him. uncle bought lotsa stuffs from newton circus. the fried oyster there rocks. so does the satay. they bought this huge stingray too, hokkien mee. and some others. i ate till i almost dropped again. why can't i control my diet?! life's too short so just stay happy and eat whatever you want. that should be the way to live life. though at times i so much feel that i should just put an end to everything. bleahs. shall not talk about sad stuffs now. i still have dad's mum's birthday buffet tml afternoon. after that i will be going for xy's birthday party. arhh. this week is the fattest week! i need to get down to exercise soon before i become a pig. shall go do some work before i sleep tonight. but i'l probably give up half way. i detest my studying attitude. -out-

2005-04-23T23:16:00.000+08:00

i still hate the way they teach and do things in jc. maybe it's because i'm still not accustomed to life in jc. well actually come to think of it. why am i in a jc? sigh. catching up is one thing. but jc and me just won't click. plus many other stuffs don't click too. i'm down with cold and fever since thursday night. the pe teachers in cjc are heartless. no mc = compulsory to take pe. i fell sick on thursday night. since it was alr late i didn't bother to go visit a doctor. i need to recover soon. it's a must! i will be having napfa next week. standing broad-jump for guys is super tough man. i don't think i'l even hit silver standard. i shall go check out the minimum scores. but i can't seem to find the chart anywhere in the school. and i've brought the wrong chemistry stuffs to grandparents' place to study. what a waste. there are just so many tests coming up next week. i don't know how long it will take. 'no one knows what it's like to feel this feeling'.

2005-04-22T23:31:00.000+08:00

what's the point of turning seventeen when everything seems so meaningless after that? one thing i should be thankful for. actually two things. my family and my class. at least they make my existence in this world more purposeful. whenever i look back into time i can't help but feel that i'm a total failure in life. i'm really not sure if you still treat me as a friend. deep in my heart i wish you still do. nothing is guranteed in life. especailly happiness. you can be happy for now and who knows the next moment you start getting overcome with sadness and begin feeling so depressed? why are we still friends? maybe we'r not. i wish you could be happy but why must you think that way? i agree with cornelius's blog entry. everyone in class is talking about relationships. a likes b. c likes d that kinda thing. but the truth is in reality it hurts. to me life is a learning process. we learn from our mistakes when we crumble. it's a difficult process that i will never be able to make it. it's close to impossible. i can say i'l try my best to. but certain things just prevents me. is everything i say untrue? well i learn from other people at times. is it so hard to seek for forgiveness? if it is then i'l rather throw in the cards and give up. you play the cards yourself. i get sick and tired when things turn hurtful. -she will be loved- time can heal everything. sounds cliche. if it really can work. it would be such a miracle. -prays hard- all i wish now is for me to be able to get on with work soon and don't let anything bother me so much. sigh.

2005-04-14T23:52:00.000+08:00

this few days my mind is in a total mess. a million thoughts are running through my mind. i don't know should i go or should i stay. but in life we must have the strength to carry on because our family, friends and relatives are the people that will stand by us and shower their unconditional care if someone walks out on us. it really hurts both physically and emotionally. i need to get rest although i can't sleep well. class is great. esp to some people in class. thanks loads. and oh my gosh. i've to express my thanks and gratitude to grandpa and grandma for giving me such a sweet birthday card and reward. i'm sorry from the bottom of my heart. last saturday i really got them worried. sigh. i was out on my bike for more than 2 hours. but i had to make it long. it was the last time we would see each other. i guess there's no more turning back. sigh. wish there could be more. i'm off to bed soon.

2005-04-11T23:33:00.000+08:00

today i turn seventeen. at the same time i feel both happy and sad. while having breakfast this morning i kinda got a call from grandma. omg. she actually woke up so early just to wish me happy birthday. grandpa's probably still asleep. but he did gave me a card and some cash. i'm really thankful for the care and concern my grandparents show towards me. but at times. in fact just this saturday i got them worried for a moment. bleahs. shall'nt talk about it. anyway i returned late last saturday. happy for a moment. sad for another. i'm being such a bytch to someone out there. sigh. i really wish for some stuffs to change for the better. i believe it will. 'if there's a will, there's always a way.' as long as i'm alive. hope still lives. lately my life's caught up with quite alot of stuffs. stress in school is just one thing. of course there are others. ok. i shall blog on what happened in school first. my class was great! i mean really great k. everyone's in birthday celebration mood when i entered class. well they did sing me a touching birthday song. and i didn't expect them to get a present shared among the class. it was a pair of soccer boots! oh my gosh. they'r such wonderful people. i love my class to bits. although i might not express it. but i truly do. the times i spent in cjc were both meaningful and enriching. schooling's never been so great before. on the other hand i miss sji to bits too. i'm so tired and flustered up with stuffs. -big sigh- i wish i could... wipe away all the tears and let the pain fade away. thanks to all who gave me presents. especially my beloved class. [to c.q: despite what happened last saturday i've always appreciated tons what you've done for me all this while. thanks a million for the presents. i wouldn't be what i am today without your guidance and care. i will still care.] [to s.w and gab: big thank you for hearing me out and getting me sweet and nice stuffs for my birthday. nice time talking to the both of you. my understanding juniors forever.]

2005-04-09T11:21:00.000+08:00

i've come to a realisation on something when i had a conversation with a former classmate of mine sometime back when during my orientation week. i don't know if i should call myself dumb or just determined and willing to persevere to the end to get what i wanted. it kinda struck me again when i realised it was just more than that. arhh. why must life have to go against you at times? it really makes me wonder. should i stay the way i am? sheesh. the obvious would be to get on with life. but certain things will always remain. they were 'meant to be.' the sad part is in reality it will never happen. the odds are much more. in love we search for what is steadfast and perfectly beautiful. but in life. life's like this. people change with time and that's what makes more meaning in life or takes away happiness. i used to believe in getting what i want. the many trials and tribulations in life will always go against me and prove me wrong. things happen for a reason. 'God has a plan for us.' many a time we would not know what He has in store for us but if we trust and believe in Him hopefully we would lead a beautiful and fulfilling life. His promising hope will not lead us astray. people might choose to see a happy me. but that's just the surface. what it really is would be so so different. when i look back into time it's a mixture of emotions. nothing seems too happy or too sad. it's just a big 'sigh.' there will be someone out there who will share the same boat but everyone is different and unique. there will never be everlasting happiness in the world. but there must be peace! loves peace. yesterday i wasted away my afternoon. supposed to work on my piling homework. my mind was elsewhere so i couldn't complete my assignments. it's another barrier other than the exasperation i get when i don't get to solve the questions in my assignments. still have lots of work to catch up on. and that's going to be hell for me. jc's a painful and struggling journey. especially the work load. and the insumounting stress. it makes me realise my limitations too and the route to alevels will be an arduous one. sometimes i just feel like chucking the work aside and giving my mind a little time away but more work will come. so it's as good as working 24/7. i guess my time management is really sucky. need improvement on that. someone teach me how! well time management should be on an individual basis. shall come up with a personal time-table real soon. or i'l drop dead with all the never-ending work. well i have something to say about our class. really fun class i must say. with all the great people our class will never be bored. it's a girl dominated class with about twice as many girls as guys. girl power class! yee. but the girls bully the guys. =p. on the whole 1T38 is still as wonderful as ever. that's the fun thing of jc. well having a great class means jc's increadible. [hope i can to meet c.q tonight. oh ya. don't worry. i will never take you for granted alright. you make one of the best gifts life can offer. time to cheer up okie. it will be my birthday day next monday. you must try to stay happy no matter what. please take care loads.]

2005-04-01T23:28:00.000+08:00

lalalas. today was kinda class outing for us. most people turned up. well i was supposed to go for canoeing trials but i pon-ned to go out with my class. to all those people whom i promised. really sorry. after hearing from my friend from canoeing. i knew him since primary 1 but we kinda ended up cjc. so we started talking and all after so many years. i think canoeing doesn't suit me. i need time to adapt and learn the proper strokes. plus the training hours. i will probably die if i join canoeing. and i've not been eating. so i'm weak lately. i seriously need to try and eat more. lectures were erm bad. i can't copy the stuffs and listen to the teacher at the same time. i need to do more reading up. we had official lessons today. i find them boring maybe because i don't get what the teacher was saying. especially biology. the rest of the lessons were quite fine. my class rocks. full of nice and great people to hang out with. i need to catch some sleep soon. need to wake up early tomorrow. shall blog properly soon. -yawns-

2005-03-28T22:51:00.000+08:00

oh my gosh. today was tiring again. tomorrow it will be even worst. sentosa. i need to sleep early tonight! my new home tutorial group rocks my socks. =p. the first impression they left me was kinda good. i don't know about what they think of me. but then again they'r great people to be with. ahh. i'm hungry again. have been skipping breakfast and lunch since school started. i shall go to bed soon to kill my hunger. lalalas. looking forward to sentosa. i will die larh. i'm like really weak this days. -yawns- off to bed. brother's birthday tomorrow. woohoo. we shall all go for a good meal together. happy 14th birthday benjy! he knows i have a blog but he doesn't visit my blog. well i guess he won't be seeing it. sometimes i can spend the whole afternoon just talking to him. but mummy wants him to focus on his school work. so we get to talk less now. : (. hope he gets into a good class since it's his streaming this year. may your wishes and dreams come true in the folowing year.

2005-03-27T12:03:00.000+08:00

i must say yesterday was pretty fun. brother's friend came over for some elderly rme project in the morning. they were supposed to interview my grandpa. but ended playing. just took some pics with grandpa. that's all. and poor me ended typing out their assignment till eleven when i got back at nine plus. bathed and all because i was really hot and sticky. yesterday was really memorable and special because i got to meet someone special. after hour an hour of searching finally saw her at beauty world. initially i didn't know where she was. night cycling's so so dangerous. then she was saying over the phone i saw you! oh well. i tried moving elsewhere so that she couldn't see me. and she really lost where i was. =p. i saw her in this pink blouse and jeans. then she was trying to fake. saying she was wearing black top and shorts. we met up and all. walked and chatted under the moonlight. i left my grandparents' house before eight on my bicycle and i only got to meet her like half past eight. naughty me told them i would be back in fifteen minutes. obviously i didn't. really enjoyed yesterday night. we got to know each other a little better. people say time crawls at night. bleahs. i don't think so man. it's so fast and one hour had passed. so i seriously had to go home. i had calls from grandpa. aunt too. sigh. i told them wherever i go i would come back safely in one piece. felt so sorry that i got them worried and all. i shall learn to take better care of myself and hopefully they won't worry so much in future. when i wanted to return to grandparents' house she did walk me home. that's so sweet of her since i needed to leave for home. and those are bird's nest ferns! NOT banana trees. don't be afraid next time kayys. 26032005. i simply love this day :). if you happen to read this all i wish to say is a big thank you for everything. on the other hand today was a painful day. i just came back from the doctor's. i was complaining to mummy my right foot has been giving me trouble all this while. i suppose it's because of the incident which took place in july 2004. silly me went to jump in a moment of folly. anyway that's the past so i shall not bring it up. didn't know she took it so seriously. right after church this morning she brought me to some chinese doctor. and the pain was excruciating i tell you! the needles were so big. sigh. i think i have a phobia for needles. maybe it's because of the part at the back of the knee she PEIRCED. the joining there. luckily i didn't collapse or something. if i really did i'm so useless. phew. after the agonising half an hour i'm finally free! no more needles. =p. bad experience : (. brother's birthday in two days' time. shall go have lunch now.

2005-03-23T16:53:00.000+08:00

oh well. it was one tiring day. i didn't take breakfast and lunch today. so i shall have early dinner. since it was the first time ever i've stepped into cjc so i was new to the whole place. i don't know whether i should feel happy or sad for one of my facilitators. he's like. oh my gosh. sigh. i don't know what to say. this cannot. that also cannot. and can't he be more gentlemanly? instead of pulling me up from sitting couldn't he have asked me can you shift, please? i won't say he's rude. he's just one attitude guy that i got to know on the first day of school. and he was from sji too. i've seen him before. bleahs. since i'm new to the school i won't say much bcoz i mean it's only my first day as a student there. and i kinda pity him for getting suan-ed by this guy from st andrew's which i couldn't really remember his name. anyway he just speaks his mind. even though his comments are like. -ouch- hahas. maybe he was trying to get back at him for me. oh ya. everyone saw. i was like sitting then he pulled me up. i was reluctant so i was like jerked forward forcefully. i gave him the i don't know what you call look. then he was trying to engage a conversation with us and he was standing up for quite some time. so i asked him to sit down instead. it's called caring. not hypocrisy. hahas. that's crap. everyone was laughing. maybe not everyone. i heard some laughter though. he's so hard up on us to join canoeing. i was considering canoeing. but now i have second thoughts which did hold me back. hmm. i wish i could know more people. hopefully before the groups and all change on monday. i should be content with what i have. when i reached there in the morning i was warmly greeted by some of my classmates. i'm glad they still remembered me. and i remembered them too. there are nice and sweet people in my group too. it's just that it's the first day and everything's so screwed. especially the facillitator with an attitude. maybe not attitude it's see and hear alr not comfortable that kinda thing. oh well. he mentioned that i was a sucker or something like that when i couldn't introduce my partner in detail enough. ehh. as if you can introduce yourself really well. but i guess i did try quite abit. and all the others did try too. he was bad to say 'wa lau' and all to you guys right? hahas. never mind about that. hope we get to know each other better than he wouldn't have anything bad to say about us. there are always more things on the other side. hope tomorrow will be a better day. the st andrew's guy was funny in his own way. saying 'if we'r not bonded it's your fault [facilitator's] what bcoz it's your job to bond us.' he should be quite a nice guy to hang out with. just that maybe this is his second time attending the orientation. so things might be a little plain for him. on the whole i still enjoyed my stay in school today as the principal, HOD and the student development master were approachable. i had this doubt as to take physics or biology for my second science subject. then the student development master directed me to the HOD in science. he did enlighten me but i guess the majority of the choice comes from me. sigh. i don't wish to choose a subject that i would regret taking later on. sentosa trip next week. -faints- i need to get more rest and adapted to the times and all. shouldn't be turning in so late like i did the past few months. i knew turning in late was bad. but what to do? hahas. ok. i need to exercise more. everywhere i go i see strong people. seeing is believing. so what am i doing now? go train!

2005-03-21T13:31:00.000+08:00

had so much fun last week. changi beach was kinda cool. went there with cousins. spent the whole morning there. then when for lunching after that. but all these fun will end once school starts. sheesh. postings will be out tomorrow morning. ahh. that means i will have to report for school early. i hope i'l have fun at school man. or not jc will be another boring stage of life. actually i'm pretty fine with poly. since i did a teeny weeny well enough to qualify for jc. so i shall stick with jc. but i totally hate that stupid gp. omg. and there's chinese too. actually not much different from secondary school. just that life will be more hectic with more work load coupled with stress. but i'm still looking forward to jc. hahas. i wish i could join canoeing. i hope i won't die in that cca. i heard their trainings are hell. if i do get into canoeing i hope i survive. -prays- i've always wanted canoeing as my cca in secondary school. but ended up joining a UGO. oh ya. it did help me get my two bonus points. so it ain't that bad being in a UGO. sj will be off to australia in 5 days time. farewell to him. : ). anyway there's high chance he won't see this. ok. shall end here. i need to improve my strength and my running. then canoeing will accept me. -grins-

2005-03-04T20:39:00.000+08:00

i finally can put my mind at ease. but this morning i crawled myself out of bed just to make my way down to the damn place where i can get my singpass reset. thankfully the person who attended was alright or not i would have given him a tongue-lashing. waking up early knowing that there would be a crowd was already a pain. MOE just wants to show others how capable the education system in singapore by the net-savvy way of applying for jc/poly/etc. i don't find anything wrong with that. but can't they even ensure that the system is in good working condition before putting it into use? come to think of it they are just a bunch of inconsiderate, heartless people. and why must we always be the guinea-pigs for all their new shyts which doesn't seem to work at all? they always think highly of themselves. and worst of all fabricating lame excuses saying people not getting their singpasses early enough and so on. i think they'r just covering up for stupidity. can't they just issue forms like they did last year? phew. anyway i've got this out of my way. and i can enjoy my weekends better. word of advice. if it's not going to work. don't show your stupidity. and no point covering up anymore. the truth is out.

2005-03-01T23:58:00.000+08:00

yesterday marks another milestone of my educational life. probably a bad one. nothing good to relish about. i must say it's really nice to be together as a whole class again. hmm. the night before our results my fellow classmate asked me out for breakfast. hahas. and i was like. wa. need to wake up early! but since it's results day so i find going out a better way to start my day. rather than just sleep sleep sleep. i would have to wake up early when school starts too. life's so short to discover everything. so no point sleeping all your time away. some people are getting really strong now. creatine arh. =p. you know who you are. hahas. bleahs. i still think natural is the best! niways when we reached school it was about time. talked to a few of my classmates to catch up on stuffs. i like panasonic x700. so chio that handphone. borrowed from sj and played with it for awhile. yee. but i don't like the brand. hahas. but who cares. the design's just so eye-catching. at least enough to catch my attention. =p. so after talking in the library [we were so loud]. hahas. we went to hall. first time in such a long time sji guys were so silent. couldn't believe my ears. niways everyone was praying really hard. and me. i was hope i don't fail anything. still remembered failing combined humanities during prelims. but can't afford to. it's olevels. i'l probably end up in a sorry state if i failed anything. my target was 12. but i knew i couldn't make it. forget about taking 4 'A' level subjects. i don't think i can even cope with three let alone four. i was the last to receive in my class. i don't know i should feel happy or sad. mixed emotions i guess. sj's going off on 26 march. i can't even see him off. his parents was saying. no friends. then he went on saying his parents told him if friends were to tag along. wouln't he be spending more time with his friends than them? knew him for four years. fours years and my view of him changed alot. though some things still remain unchanged. i guess he won't be reading this. i have to say he's one true pal. just that sometimes he gossips untrue stuffs about me. so bad. no wonder get whacked by me. hahas. he deserved it. anyway he doesn't seem to hold it against me. i still will regard him as someone great to have around. after scoring an a2 for english i was happy for a moment. but it was false hope. i didn't hit my target. it was bad enough. i wanted 12 but i got 15. though i improved like 10 points. but my results were still shyt. the only reason i could find was i'm dumb. never mind. life's like this. i scored a2 for mr chin's subject. though i secretly had my recess at the back of class during his physics lesson. this one big packet of rice. spent the whole period eating. hahas. i wasn't that bad. i shared with my classmate. =p. those were the times. good old times in sji. will always cherish and treasure every moment though i don't express it in class. but i do. for once i passed amaths. not that happy. just ok with it. passed combined humanities too. that was my 'don't give a damn' subject'. i still remembered studying for switzerland. maybe that helped me passed. i guess so too. thankfully it came out. for chemistry i studied. and how could i possibly get the same grade as biology which i didn't even study as much? it's so unfair. screw cambridge. maybe i'm just dumb. and that gives me the strength to carry on to work harder. shall end here. and continue tomorrow. -yawns-

2005-02-19T23:40:00.000+08:00

-aches- today's just so great. most of the stuffs i did was fun. ok. there is just so much to blog about. in the morning as usual. i came down to grandparents' place. had to wish grandma happy be-lated birthday. sigh. how could i forget to call her on her birthday? plus all the incessant reminders from mummy. i still forgot. i'm getting really useless. i already am. then grandma was showing me the back of the red packet which grandpa gave her. some stuffs written there. i couldn't recall exactly. all i could remember was the last part. 'thanks so much for being a loving and caring wife.' that was all i could remember. hmm. that's so sweet. which is unlike the grandpa i knew. he wouldn't go to the extent of writing such stuffs. hahas. first time i see him writing such stuffs since i don't know when. sometimes their 'bickering sessions' are kinda interesting. i was quite happy for grandma. made her a card too. she loves it. yay. which meant she found it nice. =p. oh ya. cousin. this cousin of mine. used to live with grandpa and grandma. always giving grandparents trouble every now and then. he typed a one page long birthday message for grandma. that's really sweet of him too. i hope he meant what he said in the message. i only saw part of the message. shall complete reading soon. everything's so different this year. went to play basketball at like close to ten in the morning. wa. then two guys approached us. asked brother and me to join them. we didn't even play basketball for seven weeks. they played for seven years. now one's in ns. the other one. i don't know. didn't bothering asking. was so tired from all the playing. everytime i scored a goal. they would have scored five. hahas. that's really bad. awful experience. the evening part of the day was what i was looking forward to most. i finally got my handphone charger back. it was with grandparents' neighbour. she comes back so late like now. i need to learn from her. hahas. she's pro in english. her chinese is as good. i love the way she speaks. =D. i just wished her goodnight. since i was so happy today. but my happiness won't last for long. it's short-lived. and will always be. ever-lasting happiness doesn't exist in my world. whenever you feel happy for a moment. unseemingly something will sweep away all your happiness. blahs. this entry's supposed to a happy one. the moment cousins got on grandpa's car. we started chatting non-stop. there's just so so much to catch up on. if only i could have more time with them. though i wish i could. cousin's in secondary one! need to adapt to secondary life yeah. i doubt he'l read this. but i shall wish him all the best and lots of luck for every little thing he does. he has become stronger. that's good. all my male cousins are becoming stronger. which means i have to train more too. hahas. i'm a lazy chap. i have to do away with my lazy habit. that's why i'm making a effort to exercise this days. easy to get fat. hard to slim down. just like three days to learn bad. three years to turn good. i heard someone mentioning it before. hahas. went through my mind while i was blogging. the gathering was warmly welcomed by people from the njc lion dance group. those youngsters can really lion dance well. never underestimate them. hahas. food was supposed to be served at half past five. but today the chingay procession was going on. the caterer was stupid enough to get caught in the massive jam. no food till eight. sigh. then this was the time when i got to know people. lalala. met people and talked to them. people from different age-groups. young and old. of course the younger generation were more fun to be with. more stuffs to talk about. hahas. out of a handful. there were only a few nice girls. my age-group i guess. mummy's girls. =p. i don't think they are so guai. just act guai only. hahas. maybe they really are. first time getting to know only. so i really don't know much. i mean people living around in the estate it's always good knowing them. it went on to know more guys. chatted. talked crap to them. anyway. they were easy people to get along with. made many friends there. the guy from acs is a nice little chap. primary 4 this year. same as cousin. spent some time talking to him. he was saying he has an elder sister. and brother who is in ns. and he's like so young. the age gap's so wide. he's a knowledgable guy. knows quite alot of stuffs. then got to know this guy who offered to return home to bring his soccer ball for everyone to play. grandpa didn't allow me to bring my soccer ball. sob. we played till dinner arrived. i didn't eat that much. bcoz i wanted to go round knowing more people. hahas. so i had to forgo all the nice food. but it's good in a way. i won't get fat. =p. after dinner another group of people. i don't know where they came from. they were playing basketball. joined them. but got sian. so we switched to soccer. night soccer! hahas. i met this guy. he told me he was from sji. what a small world. he's secondary one this year. and he has the same psle score as me. cool. he didn't come from the gathering. he came with his neighbours all the way from upper east coast to a friend's place. sji peeps are nice. so is he. at first he was like. ask him stuffs. then reply. 'cannot arh?' as we talked we kinda got along well. but he broke someone's glasses during soccer. so bad. his neighbours all were girls. wa. and there's this tall girl. so tall till she caught my attention. sixteen years old yet so tall. i want her height. =p. she's this smart girl from dunman high. got the model look too. and she's aiming for vjc. what high hopes people have. and all i think is. i will struggle like shyt if i go to jc. that's the mentality of a dumb person like me. i shall try. if i don't try there's no hope. at least there's a shimmer of hope when i'm willing to try. it's almost turning one. oh my gosh. there's church tomorrow morning. i can't be late again. i was late for church thrice this year. yee. not too good. shall go to bed real soon. such an exhausting day. but it was a jolly good day. at least i found that little tinge of happiness in life. hope it will last. -yawns- shall sleep now.

2005-02-09T21:59:00.000+08:00

finally have time to blog. it's been real long. had quite busy schedules for the past few weeks. plus all the shyts. ok. chinese new year was pretty alright. just that it was really tiring. one day five hours of play. went to church. and they had lion dance in church. weird thing. went to grandparents' met my 'long lost' cousins. for some rarely see them. so it's long lost. hahas. when we went to play in the park. there's was this eurasian family. cousin approached them. asked them if we could play basketball. and they agreed. so we played. arhh. they turned out to be semi-pros. i can't call them pros. because they'r not. hahas. =p. we didn't get thrashed though. it's friendly new year match so we didn't count score. mustn't let europeans be superior over chinese. -evil grin-. had to wait for everyone to show up before we could take a big family photo. and i mean real big. hahas. there was good food. because it was prepared by grandma. hahas. talked to cousins. alot. there was just so much to catch up on. three in the afternoon went to dad's side. the people there smoke. thankfully dad doesn't. so i didn't like the smell. left the house for quite abit with my cousins there. we went for soccer. three hours. of course with breaks in between. so exhausting. but i escaped the cigarette smoke. came back at six. rested for awhile. and there was dinner. the food's not too bad. and i'm sure to put on weight for this week. cousins asking me out for swimming. better sleep earlier tonight. since it's new year. 'chin chai'. i agreed. so swimming for me tomorrow. i'm supposed to burn my other cousin need for speed underground two. oops. better do it now. or i'l forget. he looks so different now. probably because he changed his hairstyle. hahas. looks so much like uncle in the photo when he was young. wish him luck in his secondary education. he had 237 for psle. didn't make it to sji. so sad. if only he was from an affliated school. but he wasn't. i want him to be in sji. because sji has made me a better person. sji rocks. miss the times.

2005-01-21T22:24:00.000+08:00

today was long and tiring. went out as early as eight and came back only in the eveing. family outing. hahas. went swimming in the morning. dad. brother. and me. brother must learn swimming! he can't swim well. hopefully after a few more times with dad he would be much better. i picked up swimming from dad too. when i was in primary school. couldn't swim well. now. quite ok. hahas. find it easier to pick up from dad rather than going to swimming courses. swimming is relaxing larh. first time in 2005 i swam. hahas. swam leisurely at first for close to an hour. then wanted to try something. put float in between my thighs and swam with my arms only. it kind of helped me to train abit too. i can't go more than six laps with my arms. guess i need more training. but it's fun larh. and i know i'm weak. that's why i need to undergo such training and all. after that went lunching with family. dad decided we go to queensway to get stuffs. didn't expect to see so many people. the crowd was like. omg. it's damn packed larh. brother got himself a new bag. new pants too. i got a new pants only. i don't need a bag now anyway. after getting our stuffs was dinner time at holland village. then. back home. sleep. zzz.

2005-01-15T21:16:00.000+08:00

i have been reading other people's blogs lately. especially those of my former classmates who are doing their jc education now. kind of filled with remorse. regrets too. i would be missing out close to three months of studying. and three months. so much. put it this way. i'l never be able to catch up. but i want to do jc. i so much wanted to try jc out. i'm lazy. and i'l probably lose out to other people who have went through first three months. even if i do catch up it would not be as easy and smooth as i wish it could be. it's sure to be a tough and arduous journey for me. ok. i'm just dumb. or maybe to a greater extent. lazy. in singapore if you don't have a strong education foundation. it's as good as not existing in society. now i feel bad. and i always do. the days of january were just practically going for interviews. one was successful. but i turned the offer down. working hours and conditions are so bad that i didn't even think i'l survive working. blah. i was fussy. another job coming up next week. this time i'l try to be less fussy or not i'l never be able to take up a job. it's mid-january now. i can't be having a non-productive holiday. it'l definitely be wasting my life away. if. and if i make it to jc. school would start in april for me. olevels are over. no use brooding over it. hope for the best. expect for the worst too. i need to do some reading on my own. will i? sigh. i'l probably end up doing other stuffs. i'm always like that. it's such a bad habit. i can't get my priorities right. that's the trouble with me. ok. one of my resolutions this year would be getting my priorities in place. helped grandpa with some stuffs. so tired now. blah. all the workout i've been doing lately makes my body so pain. especially my legs. from skipping. i'm weak. dumb. being weak and dumb is serious enough. hope to be a better person. be there for friends when they are in need. got to pray that i won't be stucked in a dilemma. yawns. shall end here. blog tomorrow.

2005-01-13T17:22:00.000+08:00

hooray. cousin's wedding today. was at her mum's place the whole morning. dad was talking and talking. most of the time. hahas. so lively the atmosphere. all thanks to dad. my other cousin and aunts said dad was too noisy. i kinda can see he gets along with most of his siblings. shall cherish brother more. hahas. shall disturb him less. i wish i could help him in his work. but i'm dumb. so i might be teaching him wrong stuffs. it's always nice to have a lively atmosphere. first time i witnessed a tea ceremony. actually. second time. aunt's wedding a few years ago. came back home to bathe and get ready for her dinner tonight. i almost couldn't recognise cousin when she walked into the house with her bridegroom. looks so different. hmm. i remembered seeing the bridegroom smoking in his outfit. yucks. so unsightly. but i suppose he's a nice guy. hahas. i mean that's his life if he chooses to smoke. got to know one of dad's younger brothers better. talked to him quite abit. but there's something i don't like about him. because he owes dad 3k arh. he better pay up soon. or else. hahas. he's getting married soon too. hmm. maybe sometime next year. looking forward to cousin's wedding tonight. i've been so tired lately from all the intensive workout. planning to lose some weight. feel so fat man. ate too much during the lunch buffet. and now there's dinner. blahs. skipping can kill. hahas. shall end here.

2005-01-10T17:13:00.000+08:00

one word. please.

2005-01-04T23:11:00.000+08:00

went for two job interviews yesterday. one was earlier in the afternoon by myself. parents picked me up later in the afternoon. went for another job interview. at shenton way. the offices there are so classy. long time since i've been there. two interviews in a row. hopefully one is successful. or not i'l be working with friends. think it's much more interesting and fun this way. work with friends won't get bored so easily. they went for a job interview too yesterday. if worst come to worst. i'l work with them. though the pay might be lower. companionship's definitely more important to me. can talk doing work. at least i won't get bored to bits. i shall end here. shall sleep earlier. when job starts need to wait up early to prepare and stuff.

2005-01-02T21:17:00.000+08:00

didn't have time to blog. was clearing. and clearing during new year. dad's order. at least our home looked spick and span after the clearing and all. new beginning. hope my dreams and wishes would come true. -prays- hope i'l do better for olevels than prelims. sigh. new year was spent with grandparents. hmm. usually saturday would be grandparents' day for me. yeap. hang out with them for almost the whole day. shopped mostly. job hunting is tough. in a way it is. should have put in that little more effort. tomorrow's officially a school day. everyone would be busy. i'l soon be occupied with a job too. hope so. time is money. today's the first sunday mass of the year. and i'm late. it's a five minute drive from grandparents' to church though. parents. aunt. and cousins were already there. hmm. hahas. should have turned in earlier the previous night. but i was reading the bible. a condensed version. so i guess it's alright. i want to learn more 'bout my faith. i'm into a bible. blahs. ages since i touched one. shall read a few extracts every night before turning in. hope i keep to my word. and how could they not telecast nation's countdown on television? haix. what rotten luck this year. 2004 ended on a sad note. grandpa was suggesting our whole family to go for a holiday in thailand in the middle of this year. phew. luckily mum strongly advised him against the idea. it would have been a much greater nightmare for us. hope the affected countries would regain their confidence and look on the brighter side of things in 2005. may the new year realise unfufilled promises and wishes. most importantly. health. hmm. i was helping grandparents collect some fertiliser for their graden from the empty grass patch on the elevated land yesterday with the help of my bike. it's from this huge heap of fertiliser. not sure what is made up of. the one which can be seen along road sides used for plant pruning. hahas. it has been abandoned there for quite some time. nobody uses it. so i being a 'kind' soul made a few trips to collect the 'free' fertiliser. and when i got it on my bike. it's so hard to balance. furthermore the return trip's down a steep slope. one arm holding the filled plastic bags. the other steering the bike. but it was worth the effort. had fun too. passer-bys gave me a weird look. especially the joggers. hahas. but who cares? it's free stuff. better get into the habit of sleeping early. hope everything goes well for. -winks-